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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Should I speak to other child's parent?

16 replies

PippiLongstromp · 16/04/2018 16:29

My DD (5) has come home from school today telling me a friend of hers had scratched her face and pulled her trousers and pants down. There were a few other kids there, who all laughed. She didn't laugh, she cried and told the teacher who made the other child sit on a chair for 5 minutes. So it sounds like the situation was dealt with by the teacher, I am just a little bit shocked by it and think the other child has definitely crossed a line with the pant pulling... My question is - would you call the parent of the other child to talk about it? I don't know if the teacher has spoken to them. Or what would you do? I do not have older children so am not really aware of how you deal with this stuff as a parent in the best way.

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Aprilmightbemynewname · 16/04/2018 16:31

It won't go well so def don't approach a parent. Let school deal with it entirely.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 16/04/2018 16:32

no absolutely do not do that. Let the school deal with it.

user789653241 · 16/04/2018 16:34

No, definitely not recommending speaking to other parents. It's better for teacher to deal with it. I think you should speak to the teacher, rather than the parent, if you are concerned.

upsideup · 16/04/2018 16:34

By all means go in and talk to the teacher about what happened tomorrow but no dont talk to the parents.
Did all that come from yout dd's mouth, I'm suprised the teacher didnt come and tell you about it today?

PippiLongstromp · 16/04/2018 16:34

Ok. I guess I really would like the parents to speak to their child about a line having been crossed... I should also say I know the parents quite well and am quite friendly with them. But you think it's a bad idea?

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upsideup · 16/04/2018 16:37

They are either the type of parents to already having a word about it with their child or they're not, in which case you telling them to do it will only make them much less likely to. Nothing will be gained, speak to the teacher if you are concerned, never the parents.

Oly5 · 16/04/2018 16:38

Yes it’s a bad idea. You weren’t there, the teacher dealt with it. If it happens repeatedly then of course you should reconsider but this won’t be the only time your child has a rubbish day at school. The best thing you can do is equip your child regarding what to do if it happens again.
They’re 5.. pant pulling down isn’t that surprising

Thundercracker · 16/04/2018 16:38

It is a terrible idea. Talk to the teacher. If appropriate and necessary, the teacher will raise the incident with the parents of the other child.

PippiLongstromp · 16/04/2018 16:40

Ok lol, I won't. See, this is why I needed you all's advice, thanks!!

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Arapaima · 16/04/2018 16:41

Not a good idea to talk to the parents. But I would talk to the teacher about it. Even though it was dealt with at the time, I would want the teacher to understand how upset both you and DD are about this.

SunshineAfterRain · 16/04/2018 16:44

I would speak to the teacher tomorrow and let him/her know you are uncomfortable with what happened. And ask the speak with the parents.
That is so inappropriate even at 5.

PippiLongstromp · 16/04/2018 16:52

Yes thank you @Arapaima and @SunshineAfterRain for your understanding - I really am shocked and sad this has happened. I will speak to the teacher tomorrow and ask her to speak to the parents.

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Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/04/2018 17:18

Tbh I’d want to see the teacher. The pants pulled down cross a big line for me.

inashizzle · 16/04/2018 17:29

I'd be fuming and would have to contain myself, but definitely don't approach the other parent . If the same child did try and repeated nasty behaviours, yes I would speak with the parent.

KT63 · 16/04/2018 17:32

It would entirely depend on the action taken by the school. If they didn’t tell the other parent what had happened I would be inclined to try and speak to a parent, just to make sure it never happened again.

Witchend · 16/04/2018 18:32

Do not approach the other parents.

Do talk to the teacher.
But be aware that it may not be exactly as your dd said. It could be a malicious behaviour that has been going on for some time. But equally well, it could have been silliness that went wrong, or a misguided attempt at helping, or them both being silly together. Also when they said "they pulled them down" they could be talking all the way to the ankles or a fraction of an inch.
A couple of years ago I was supervising some children and one of them pretended to collapse on the floor. His brother came up and offered a hand to pull him up, then as he went to grab it, pulled his hand away. Brother grabbed his trouser leg (calling "save me") and trousers started coming down. I saw both boy's faces and it was a total accident, which luckily they both thought was hilarious.

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