Reception, knife on eye/cheek of 4y old, should we do anything else?

[mickael28]

Hi all,

We are 1st time parents and our 4y summer-born daughter started reception last week. Today was her first day staying half day in school and having lunch there.

She was in reception in a different area and she just know another girl in the new school. Our doubt is that when she finished her half day today and my wife picked her up, she was really serious and kind of scared because she said that other 2 girls put a knife in her eye/cheek when they finished their lunch and were living the dinnig room.

Thank God nothing happened but we were shocked that this could even happen?!, the only thing we thought of doing on the spot was to tell the teacher and she just said that next time our daughter had to tell her as well.

Do you think we should do anything else? ie, tell somewhere else: reception, head teacher, or something else? Basically, we don't have much experience and we're not sure if we should just leave it this way and hope it doesn't repeat or if it's better to say someone else for now, rather than just this conversation with the teacher today.

What do you think?

Many thanks!

[squiz81]

Did the teacher literally just say that? I think I'd need reassurance that it was going to be dealt with. When my ds started reception there were a few incidents of silliness at lunch and they all got spoken to as a class, plus the midday assistants were told to be extra vigilant.
I would mention to the teacher that it's playing on your mind and just wanted to check it was going to be addressed.
Sorry to hear this has happened. It's horrible as a parent when you're not there and it's all out of your control.

[mickael28]

As far as we could see yesterday, we don't think that particular incident was going to be dealt with in anyway.

We were thinking if doing anything else but without involving our daughter any further, as we didn't want to scare her and make her feel that there's something dangerous for her in school.

For now, we just told her to inform the teacher if anything similar happened, that she could talk to the teacher when those "silly" incidents happened. We're shocked that this happened though and by reading similar cases last night, it seems that there's not much that we can do. As in, headteacher or teachers don't tend to do much/anything...

[Bitlost]

Call the head. Now.

[RedSkyAtNight]

The teacher is right - your daughter needs to speak up if something similar happens again. It's very hard for the school to do much so long after the event - does your DD even know the girls who did it?

I'm sure the teacher will be speaking to everyone about appropriate behavior.

School dinner knives are as blunt as anything, I doubt she was in any real danger. A pencil would probably do more damage.

[Witchend]

The teacher cannot tell you what is happening to the other children.

It depends entirely on what happened, which isn't clear.
If they put the knife on her and threatened her, then that naturally will be taken very seriously.
But the chances are that what actually happened is one of the children was waving the knife around and caught your dd. In which case the appropriate reaction is not to go up the wall at them, but talk to them carefully about being sensible and careful.

4yos don't think of consequences. So when they're excitedly talking about something they don't think that they should put the knife in their hand down. Or pencil. Dd2 got quite a deep stab from a pencil at that age when a friend was doing dots on the paper with it and got over excited.

[mickael28]

But the chances are that what actually happened is one of the children was waving the knife around and caught your dd.

It is not clear what happened indeed, ie, we were not expecting these kind of things in school, so it just took us by surprise and with the shock, we didn't ask her yesterday all the details that we can think of today.

We did ask her what happened a few times though, and she said again and again, with all her seriousness (which I have never seen her this serious) that these 2 girls came to her and put the knife in her eye/cheek and then they left the table, no waving, no playing, no accident. Not sure if they said anything though... and possible if they did, our daughter might have not understood them as she's still expanding her English vocabulary.

Although by the teacher's answer, we don't think any kid is going to be told to be careful or anything similar, it seems as if they're going to leave it as is. Which by the timebeing, we are thinking to go with, as we don't want to make a big fuss out of it, but the shock is still with us...

Let's see how she comes back home today.

Thanks for the comments!

[Witchend]

Not sure if they said anything though... and possible if they did, our daughter might have not understood them as she's still expanding her English vocabulary.

The problem is you don't know what happened. Your dd obviously was scared/upset by it but that doesn't mean that it was malicious or intended to be nasty.
"Feel how cold the knives are today" for example.
The description may sound very threatening, but would you for have felt it was threatening if they'd done the same with their spoons? To a 4yos mind it would have been just an implement of cutlery, so they would be similar.

Ds and his friends in reception decided to sit on their forks and see if they could squash them flat one lunch time. Silly boy put it with the prongs upwards and made a bit of a hole in himself (and shorts) They do silly things in innocence that can be dangerous.

The teacher probably wasn't there, and it would have been the lunch time supervisors, so first thing the teacher would need to do is speak to them and see if they saw anything; they're not going to comment on something they had no chance of seeing because it wouldn't be helpful.

[user789653241]

I feel like there is breakdown in communication?
If you speak to the teacher, that your dd was nearly poked in her eyes by some other children's cutlery(maybe by accident?), and was very upset, I am sure teacher would have whole class talk about being careful with sharp object, etc. I was once poked in my eyes with painting brush(an accident), and that kind of things happen, if they swing tools around, so need to be told not to.

[mickael28]

My wife talked to a different teacher today (more senior), as her class teacher is pretty young, and at least this one was surprised as well and took it more seriously as she called the rest of the teachers around whilst my wife was there and she told them what happened and keep an eye on those kind of incidents. Better than nothing, and at least more people now.

Thanks for the last few comments, it makes us feel slightly better.

[Apple23]

Were the children who "came up to her" in her class or older? If it was children in her class, it could well just be children inexperienced at using cutlery not using it safely.

If they were older children, then you need to make an appointment to meet with the head today and the school should be taking the incident very seriously. Don't expect to be told what punishment, if any, is given to another child, but the school should be able to reassure you that the matter has been dealt with.