4 year old crying every morning going to school

[Gizmo79]

Hi,
So my son started school on Monday, all went fine, no tears. Since then every morning has been tears, refusing to let go of me, following me out of the classroom.
He turned 4 the end of August so is the youngest, but has been going to nursery since he was 5 months (2 different ones over the years) and has never been like this. He is a big boisterous lovely polite lad normally- does look like one of the eldest as he is tall, but he is still so young.
I have an elder DD who has just started secondary, and I never had this problem with her. I also have a 7 month old, so am off on mat leave so not sure if that is bothering him but he is a fab big brother and there is no jealousy there.
It just seems to be getting worse, today the tears started before we left the house, and I had to physically carry him part of the way - not easy with a baby in a sling!
I've tried distracting him, talking about his swimming lessons, going to the cinema etc, but he was just completely distraught.
I spoke to the TA who said he is okay during the day, but very quiet, which is just not him at all.

Any ideas please??
Or am I just being overly worried? And things will settle down. I just feel like he wasn't quite ready despite everything my DH and I have done to prepare him.

[2014newme]

Hell get used to it. In meantime I'd probably pick. Him up at lunchtime tomorrow. He doesn't have to be there all day every day

[Gizmo79]

Oh that's a good idea- I'll speak to the teacher this afternoon at pick up and see what she thinks.
Maybe I'll try and have some one on one time with him this weekend, he does miss out a bit on days out it'll be fun😃

[PopcornBits]

You can talk about doing half days with the school for the first year until the term after he turns 5.
If this will help with his anxiety it's worth looking into.

[Netty909]

My daughter was the same as your son when she started school, she would cry and get upset at leaving me and would cling on to me but was often fine 10 minutes after I had gone and did enjoy school when she was there. this carried on for a couple of weeks and it seemed that she got herself into a habit and couldn't stop. I ended up making a reward chart and promised to get her a treat on Saturday and she would collect stars by going to school. I took it to school with me and she used to stick a gold star on the chart just before she went in and another one when I picked her up and get more for doing stuff at school. It seemed to distract her and she was less upset each day was fine within the week. She loved adding more and more stars to the chart. I don't know if this will help but hope your son settles soon as I remember how upsetting it was.

[Gizmo79]

Thankyou @netty909 that sounds like a good idea- will try that.
I know it must be overwhelming for them to start with.
Glad to hear your daughter settled after a short while.

[allinclusive]

Hiya. I think the overall consensus within our school mum's is that they will settle down. It is heartbreaking- my first really cried for a few weeks despite going for full days at the preschool next door. For him, being the first to go in solved the problem as he wasn't so overwhelmed. Try all suggestions and see what works. I'd advise agains half days just yet as it is early days.

[Kassy69]

My daughter is in Year 1 and still gets upset when I drop her at school, she does not when my husband drops her at school though! I have been told they will grow out of it!

[ilovesushi]

My DS was the same. He is also a summer birthday and he had a lot of serious health issues, which meant he'd never really attended pre-school with any regularity. Looking back I wish I'd just said "sod it, he's not ready, we'll come back later." We soldiered on, but it was bloody tough and with hindsight not worth it. I wasn't working at the time so we could have spent another happy year at home building up gently to school.

[Threenme]

Op having working in reception id 100% advice against half days straight away. I know it's upsetting but he's only a baby give him time. Speak to staff tell them it's not like him and he might need some cuddles and reassurance throughout the day! A good reception class is very fluffy I'm sure they'll oblige!