Misbehaviour in playground (reception) how do I tackle it?!

[PenelopeChipShop]

I'm so distressed at the moment as my ds's teacher has told me for the second time that he is misbehaving in the playground at school (all behaviour in the classroom is absolutely fine apparently).

She says he and this one particular boy are playing too roughly, pulling other kids' hoods, sort of chasing and 'getting' them I think (I'm guessing they don't want to be got) and this culminated yesterday in him spitting at an older child, apparently because this other boy told him to.

The teacher has come straight out and said that she thinks the other boy is a bad influence and that my ds never does any of this when playing with others, but is unfortunately easily influenced by this kid. He likes him and that seems to be the way he plays. I can believe this as he does tend to copy others at the moment, for good or bad, though he's perfectly imaginative when playing at home!

I just am not sure how best to handle this. I have been extremely clear about the behaviour I expect, but one day after a complete dressing down from me (and missing his playtime) he was apparently still doing it at lunch. I already have a good behaviour reward chart and if this continues I will do actual punishments too but tbh - he is 4, he lives a pretty simple life, there isn't a lot I can take away from him! He doesn't watch a lot of telly anyway and I don't let him have tablets so that's not something I can remove.

I just don't understand why he's so enamoured of this flipping boy. I'm not excusing his decision to join in with it but how else can I influence this when I can't be there in the playground?

Arrgggh

[MarzipanPiggy]

Have you tried talking to your DS about how he thinks the other children feel, or how he would feel if someone pulled his hood / spat at him?

I think I would take this other boy out of the equation altogether in your conversations with DS, and talk to him about kindness / the behaviour you expect from him.

[Boiled7Up]

It's very refreshing to see a parent try to tackle it- you won't believe how many people shrug this sort of thing off!

Keep talking to him about good playing and the behaviour you expect. Make a point of asking the TA/ teacher about it in front of him.

You could also teach him how to play other games- are they allowed marbles or yo-yos?