Moving from private to state -dilemma!

(29 Posts)
Fairybust Thu 24-Nov-16 09:35:21

So dd is in year 2 and we live in a town where there are split infant and middle schools.

We sent dd to.a private prep from pre school and ournolan was that she would stay there until 11.

Dd seems.happy however from am academic standpoint I don't think she's doing particularly well. She seems to.be on thr bottom table in her class. She gets very easy spellings every week that she usually already knows or has had before. When I've queried this they've said it's because she's not using thr spelling in her written work.

I've been in to the school tried to.raise.it.with them. In my opinion if she's.on the bottom table.they should.be suggesting ways on helping her improve/move up tables. She doesn't have any intervention groups and I feel as,though they've accepted that that is her place in the class and she.is effectively.stuck.there. A few other things have happened and I just feel.like she's not one of the 'preffered' students and she is just making up the numbers.

Feeling totally exasperated I've been to look the state option which is rated outstanding by ofsted.

Dh and I both really liked it as it.seems.a much more.lively school. I just can't get my head round the class sizes though. Dd is currently in a class of 18 and I'm worried that in a class of 30 she may struggle(even more) and get overlooked. I also feel that I am letting her down if we send him state.

Dh's view is that if she needs a tutor.we can afford it if she's at the state option but not so easily of she stays at the private school

I'm.being ridiculous aren't I? Has anyone else done this and if so what was your experience?

Thanks

golfbuggy Thu 24-Nov-16 10:10:13

There is of course the third option of another private school (which will also likely have smaller class sizes).

As you've said yourself, the main benefit of small class sizes is that children get individual attention - so if you feel your DD is being overlooked regardless, then there is no point paying just to get a small class (there may of course be other benefits to the private school).

If you take the type of school out of the equation it sounds like you prefer the state school, so why not give it a try? DH is perfectly right that you can pay for a tutor with the money saved (or supplement in other ways).

Fairybust Thu 24-Nov-16 10:51:04

I have actually looked at two private option but ruled one out on distance. It's about 8 miles.away and the traffic in the morning just makes.it unfeasible.as.its in completely the wrong direction for work.etc.

The other option.is a real hot house and.i just didn't get the right feel.

IsayIdontknow Thu 24-Nov-16 13:51:13

I guess that depends on many things. Do you have more children and what are the options for secondary schools near you?

TreehouseTales Thu 24-Nov-16 19:27:26

Have you been to the state school with the children there? It sound slide it kight be a good.move and would certainly free up money for activities or a tutor if you need it in the future. You may find testament school better equipped to differentiate or.intervene if there are any issues too.

avengers2016 Thu 24-Nov-16 22:58:43

We've moved from private to state. I really didn't see the benefit of private. Class sizes meant children were exposed and had confidence issues and teachers just didn't have the same teaching skills to direct the class. I also got a very strong feeling of making up the numbers and lots of smoke and mirrors to keep the business going.

State school by contract is better resourced, has better teachers, larger classes means it's run much better with lots of different teaching methods and lots of classroom support. Our children have thrived and come on more this term in all the time I saw then at private school.

I'm sure there are better private schools out there though and worse state schools - we were just lucky.

lilyboleyn Fri 25-Nov-16 05:59:13

Hahaha avengers.
What a generalisation! The state schools I worked at are certainly not better resourced or with better teachers than the private school I currently teach at. Your entire post shows a lack of understanding of the education system.

TheExecutionerMortificado Fri 25-Nov-16 06:10:59

Is there actually a space at the state school?

TheExecutionerMortificado Fri 25-Nov-16 06:17:04

How many tables are there and how widely differentiated are they? The bottom tae in a class of 18 may be at the same standard as the middle table in a class of 30,

Dc1 can spell lists of words but finds it harder in written work.

Fruitboxjury Fri 25-Nov-16 06:20:09

A poor school is a poor school, private or state. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience and am glad you have found a better option but this:

State school by contract is better resourced, has better teachers, larger classes means it's run much better with lots of different teaching methods

Is rubbish.

Can you point out in the "contract" where state schools are mandated to be better resourced and staffed than private schools, or indeed in the results? I must have missed that.

As for different teaching methods, could you detail where you feel there are common gaps across the entire system in methodology? Perhaps private school teachers reading could learn something new.

Better teachers, on the grounds of what since teachers are not externally assessed on a continuous basis, are private school teachers somehow excluded from cpd or given a watered down version of EYFS curriculum?

Classroom support - could you articulate how a class of 30 kids with teacher and TA and maybe a couple of visiting assistants has better classroom support than one of 15-18 with teacher and two TAs (our local private pre prep has)?

I'm sure people would genuinely like to know as if what you say is true "by contract" then you obviously know something the rest of the country doesn't.

I appreciate you have had your own experience but please don't apply one set of circumstances to the entire country. It smacks of people who have had one pfb suddenly declaring themselves overnight experts on the art of parenting.

avengers2016 Fri 25-Nov-16 06:41:15

There's no need to be so rude. I think it's fairly obvious 'contract' was a typo for 'contrast' and I was quite clear at the bottom that was my experience and that we were lucky in our experience when we changed school.

Says a lot when people respond with such anger - hit a nerve maybe.

AmberEars Fri 25-Nov-16 06:41:17

Someone has to be on the bottom table! Is your issue that you think she's brighter than that but the school don't seem to be recognising it? Or that she's just not making as much progress as you'd have hoped?

If it's the former then moving schools may help, but if it's the latter then you may encounter the same thing at another school.

If you're not happy with the school then it seems ridiculous to be paying for it when there is an outstanding state school that you really like as an alternative. Good schools manage with class sizes of 30 by having a good TA, but of course it's still possible that she'll be overlooked.

The idea of tutoring a six year old makes me feel sad. Maybe you need to take the pressure off her a bit? She's still so young, she might be one of those children who blossoms a bit later. I know you have lots of hopes and expectations and just want the best for her, but make sure you don't make her feel like a failure.

100greenbottles Fri 25-Nov-16 06:41:41

I think pp meant contrast, not contract. And perhaps only referred to one comparison.

avengers2016 Fri 25-Nov-16 06:42:54

Thank you 100 green bottles - glad someone saw my post for the way it was intended before jumping down my throat.

Fairybust Fri 25-Nov-16 06:44:56

The school.is a junior school so.starts atvyear 3. We live so.so close amd.itvhas a very large intake. I woukd be amazed if we didn't get a place.

The results for the state school.are excellent and the ofsted says that children of abilities make excellent progress.there are loads.and loads of sports and clubs on offer which I think dd would love.

I guess my gut feeling is that is that dd isnt particularly academic amd the private school she's at isn't that interested in her as she won't be getting any scholarships for them.to brag about so.they basically don't give a shit!

When I say the bottom table her spelling this week are things like.fire wire.tired etc etc. (which she could do without really trying) and she's on level 7 reading book.which is I believe about average for her age. But this is part of the problem.i have no idea what her targets are whether she is hitting them.

She always get a ridiculously small.part in assemblies.and.school.productions despite getting distinctions.in her speech and drama.exam. It's always rhe same.kids that are chosen.

I think just as I type these posts I realise how annoyed.i am at the school and thin I know what we will do!

Fruitboxjury Fri 25-Nov-16 06:45:27

Could you answer some of the questions so that perhaps it could be of help to the OP?

Contract / contrast wasn't at all obvious but I can see how that changes the tone of your statement

Fruitboxjury Fri 25-Nov-16 06:46:43

Sorry - that was meant for avenger

AmberEars Fri 25-Nov-16 06:47:05

The state option sounds really good, OP. I'd go for it if I were you!

greenfolder Fri 25-Nov-16 06:51:58

Go and look at the state option during the day. My Dd goes to an outstanding lower school. She is in a class of 28. Year 4. They have ta and have booster groups. Funnily enough we are looking at moving to private because dd struggles and the support in middle school won't be there

TheExecutionerMortificado Fri 25-Nov-16 06:52:14

Apply for the state (you will need to do this by Jan 15) and any other state you like. Decide once you have a place.

The primary may give preference to a specific infant school - worth checking. But you have nothing to lose by applying.

mummytime Fri 25-Nov-16 06:52:35

I'd move her without hesitation. Just check the entry criteria etc.

If there is an underlying SEN issue then it is far more likely and cheaper to be picked up and helped in a state school - and the teacher is likely to have experience of a much wider range of children.

TheExecutionerMortificado Fri 25-Nov-16 06:53:57

Dc2 is year 2 @nd they all have the same spellings, I think! Words like copying, fudge etc.

Megainstant Fri 25-Nov-16 06:56:06

I sent the first two to a local private prep and realised by Dd3 that it was definitely not worth the money. Dd3 has stayed at our local state primary and now in year 6 is further on academically than either of the others two were.

We also had 'favourite' children, not great teachers and a general sense of smoke and mirrors. Don't regret leaving that particular private school for a second!

Megainstant Fri 25-Nov-16 07:01:33

The only difference is the extra curricular. There are lots of clubs at dds state but they aren't amazing. The sports coaching was very good at the private school also the drama. I think that's where they shone and the academics were not given priority. But having had a dd who didn't do particularly well in her gcses at private school because they put such intense pressure on her to do sport the whole time (she was a sports scholar and made the school look good!), now Dd3 does sport with local clubs which are brilliant. This leaves school for academics and social stuff, both great. Far less blonde posh girls also which I rather like!!

Booklover123 Fri 25-Nov-16 07:01:47

TBH I don,t think children require private education until the age of 11 and then you are effectively paying for a good grammar school type education. I would take your dd out and reconsider at age 11. Hope it all works out.

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