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Email the Head about offhandedness?

(9 Posts)
Angie1978 Mon 04-Jan-16 11:22:57

The last week before Christmas DS was off school sick, so at the school disco DD asked Santa if she could take DS’s present home for him, not a problem

On the way out Head teacher that she couldn’t as DS might be back in school, DD explains no he won’t, so Head then tells her if there are any left he’ll post it, he was really quite off hand with her. I saw it but decided I really couldn’t be arsed demanding a poundland selection box plus he was too busy ripping into a small lad

Now I would usually think umm well it’s the week before Christmas the teachers have more important things to worry about but this has really played on DDs mind and she has now decided he is truly the worse teacher in the world, all he does apparently is shout and ball out the kids. I have asked a few moms (indirectly) and they all seem to concur that this teacher who has moved up to head in the last 6 months seems to be on a bit of a power rush

Would you say anything to him, I mean in an email so he maybe thinks about the way he speaks to the children? Or just leave it and just cope with the next stress DD will undoubtedly come home with today?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 04-Jan-16 11:29:34

No. If it wasn't important enough to say "it's ok, ds really won't be back in school before end of term" then it definitely isn't important enough to send an email.

You sound terribly precious and I doubt you want to be seen that way so I'd just manage your dd's expectations a bit more.

The "ripping into a small lad" might be something I'd email about if he really was - but you don't seem very concerned about that.

PerspicaciaTick Mon 04-Jan-16 11:34:32

I think you've missed the boat. Saying something at the time to support your DD would have been sensible, but spending the holidays thinking about it and then deciding to email is rather OTT.

You need to find ways of reassuring your DD and building her confidence. And (without letting DD know your plans) keep an eye on the situation with the HT so you can nip any future problems in the bud as soon as they happen.

AuntieStella Mon 04-Jan-16 11:46:12

An incident from last term that didn't merit your follow up on the spot, definitely isn't worth an email now.

If your DD is having a hard time at school, that does need tackling. But I suggest that should begin by making an appointment to talk to her form teacher.

Angie1978 Mon 04-Jan-16 11:48:40

I didn't think I was being precious but I do think the boat has sailed re bringing up the gift, I agree if I was that bothered I would have said something at the time.

But like Moving telling me I sound precious (really didn't mean to sound like that) I think I would like someone to tell me especially if I was teacher that the way I speak to children can be quite dismissive.

I'll not say anything but as you say keep an eye on the situation

Re the small lad his mom was with him so I hope she would sort that out

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Mon 04-Jan-16 12:06:26

Sounds sensible smile

fatowl Mon 04-Jan-16 14:09:07

I think you are being ridiculously precious, sorry.

I understand your dd might be stressed about it, but really that's an opportunity for her/you to learn how to decide which battles to fight.

An email over something like that from before Christmas is not going to end up as a priority for a headteacher at a busy start of term. It will get an eye roll and he will move on to things that matter.

If he is as bad as you say, wait until he really does "rip into" your dd and address it then

noblegiraffe Mon 04-Jan-16 14:14:33

You can't email him about 'the way he speaks to the children' when all you have witnessed is him making an 'offhand' comment to your DD which is hardly awful, and telling off a kid who may well have deserved it.

lighteningirl Mon 04-Jan-16 14:15:54

You are being a bit precious and possibly encouraging your dd to catastrophise and that should be actively discouraged or teenage years will be hell

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