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Exclusion at age 4 - who can mediate?

(25 Posts)
Publicenema Mon 07-Dec-15 20:51:25

Without going into details of the circumstances, I urgently need a third party to mediate in a meeting with my sons school who are threatening to exclude him. I need someone professionally qualified, maybe a SENCO. Where can I start to look for a suitable person?

WaitingForSnow Mon 07-Dec-15 20:55:31

Does he have a Dx?

WaitingForSnow Mon 07-Dec-15 20:56:51

I only ask because I know some groups can go in and mediate on your behalf (with you).

But first stop might be parent partnership (what ever they are called now?)

SOS sen and IPSEA might also be able to give you advice.

Publicenema Mon 07-Dec-15 20:57:10

Sorry, being thick, what's a dx?

LIZS Mon 07-Dec-15 20:59:07

Diagnosis. Is this a state or private school?

GraciesMansion Mon 07-Dec-15 21:18:43

You need the SEND Information and advice services for your local authority, formally called parent partnership. That's what they're there for.

Publicenema Mon 07-Dec-15 21:23:04

No he has no diagnosis. He had a SENCO at nursery because of some behavioural 'quirks' but she felt he was managing ok and reinforced her views at her follow up at school....but he's clearly not 'right'. I need a third party urgently to help control things at the school meeting. I don't hold out much hope of getting any help from the school going forward and will probably move him whilst investigating a diagnosis. I will look into the organisations you have mentioned. Thanks

Witchend Mon 07-Dec-15 21:46:26

Why are they threatening to exclude him though?

Is it possible that they feel he needs more help than they can give and this is the quickest way they can get it for him.
This is what happened for a child in one of my dc's form in infants. it was done with full agreement with the parents and it enabled them to access specialist help for him.
They'd hoped that they might manage a controlled move back into the school, but he proved to have more issues than had initially shown, and has remained at the specialist unit. The head of the infants still phones his parents regularly to see how he's doing and visits him and things like that although he's now at secondary.

Publicenema Mon 07-Dec-15 21:58:16

Well that sounds lovely but in our case it's because the school can't cope with any child that doesn't fit the 'norm' . I have tried and tried to explain to them what his issues are and to ask for their help but their worn record response is 'that is no excuse for his behaviour'. I am staggered by their lack of support and willingness to write off such a young child. Their response to my latest plea for a meeting was to send me a 'behaviour contract' with a note to say I need to sign it! That was it. Honestly I am finished with the school but need this third party to advocate for my son and make sure any departure is controlled and done In his best interests not just because they can't be bothered to help him. Sorry, you've got me ranting now :-(

Zipitydooda Mon 07-Dec-15 22:10:39

Can the nursery SENCO advise you as she knows your DS?

PeppasNanna Mon 07-Dec-15 22:17:30

I would imagine the school SENCO is either indiffetent or ineffective if things are this bad already.

I've been in the Op situation twice.
Ultimately you need to look at alternative provision. But your absolutely right about wanting the situation managed to the best way for your ds sake.

Contact your local Parent Partnership. Also IPSEA are a fantastic source of information for parents.

Good luck Op.

WaitingForSnow Mon 07-Dec-15 22:18:41

Are you on the diagnosis pathway? You can ask the gp for a referral. Take in all the letters from school showing his behaviour there. Then accept the exclusion, it will actually (sadly) improve your case for getting your child assessed. The system (again, sadly) is set up so that the child has to fail to access help. It sucks but it seems to be the way it works.

PolterGoose Mon 07-Dec-15 22:23:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Publicenema Mon 07-Dec-15 22:27:57

I'm not on the diagnosis pathway yet. Honestly his behaviour can be perfect for weeks on end and anyone assessing him would conclude absolutely nothing, yet suddenly something happens (still don't know what) and he is a different child. I'll put a mass of contact requests out there tomorrow and see if I can get help in the longer term, but for now it's the 3rd party I need. His SENCO from nursery was wonderful and wise and everything I wanted but the one at school seems to be a young graduate who is disinterested at best. I think I know how to get the nursery one involved again and will try and get her tomorrow

ashmaster Mon 07-Dec-15 22:37:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Devora Mon 07-Dec-15 22:39:42

Very helpful, ashmaster hmm

kilmuir Mon 07-Dec-15 22:40:10

thats helpful!

BatteryOperatedBoyfriend Mon 07-Dec-15 22:43:16

It's 'YOUR' ashmaster you rude cunt!

GloriaHotcakes Mon 07-Dec-15 22:45:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ashmaster Mon 07-Dec-15 22:48:52

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WaitingForSnow Mon 07-Dec-15 22:49:28


ashmaster Mon 07-Dec-15 22:51:37

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Devora Mon 07-Dec-15 22:52:58

Well yes, very artistic. But still not helpful.

tomatotoad Mon 07-Dec-15 22:59:06

Try to speak to IPSEA and SOSSSEN tomorrow - they are excellent.
(And ignore the idiot on the thread)
Some info here on IPSEA

mrz Tue 08-Dec-15 06:55:03

Try IASS via your local authority (new name for Parent Partnership)

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