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4 seems too young for my girl

(14 Posts)
littleraysofsunshine Thu 26-Nov-15 20:45:25

She will be four t the end of May. And apparently due to start school in September next year. I think this is so young and even though she's as bright as a button, she's only started nursery mornings this September and I feel et emotional/ tiredness side of things will be effected.

Can't we delay?

AuntieStella Thu 26-Nov-15 20:48:09

You can ask. And it must be considered individually.

The government hasn't yet done anything about making the changes it was talking about, so your LA does not have to grant your request. And willingness to place a child out of age group seems to vary considerably between councils.

hazeyjane Thu 26-Nov-15 20:53:29

As it stands at the moment, you can delay (ie going into year R a year later, when she will be 5.4) with the agreement of the LEA, and this is usually only done when there are medical reasons or developmental delays.

Or you can defer by a year (ie she can go into year 1, having missed year R, at age 5.4)

It is amazing how much she will grow and develop by the time she starts school. Some get more tired than others (dd2 used to go to bed by about 5pm when she started school!). Is she enjoying nursery? Will she be going up to school with children from the nursery?

Youareyou Thu 26-Nov-15 20:54:47

I'm sure she will cope ok as ime reception is quite play based.
I have a ds who is 4 in May and I share your concerns but on balance I think sending him is the right thing.

Toomanycats99 Thu 26-Nov-15 21:02:29

I know every child is different but I have a June baby and an August one. Both have been fine in school. The June baby has just started this year and she is finding it a little harder than my older one in terms of picking up reading and writing but on the social side she absolutely loves it. I do find she is quite tired by the end of the week but that is probably as much to do with her not liking to go to sleep until late!

WelliesAndPyjamas Thu 26-Nov-15 21:09:29

It is a very big step to get your head around as a parent smile
Yes, they are teeny and still so needy, especially starting at a young age 4, but they do get so much out of it, and a good reception teacher will get them going at just the right pace. A little boy I know well is a July baby and although he is a real trooper star and is enjoying reception, he does get soooo tired and emotional, bless him. But this time next year, I'm sure he'll be as confident and energetic as all his peers smile
My tip would be to keep after school time as calm, restful, and cosy as possible. A good rest, decent meal, reading and homework time only when refreshed, no extracurriculars or evening outings, and a very strict and sensible bedtime. I know, all obvious stuff grin

PatriciaHolm Thu 26-Nov-15 23:10:40

You have the right to delay her starting school until the term in which she turns 5; so you would apply now, get a place on allocation day next year, and then inform the school you wished her to start in summer term (May 15) not Sept 16. She would go into the same year group had she started in Sept, but of course would have missed 2 terms, so you would have to decide whether you felt the downsides in terms of missed socialisation/established friendship group etc was worth it.

You can ask the LEA if you can delay her to start in reception the year after, so Sept 17, and they have to consider it, but they don't have to grant it and many are very very reluctant to do so without a lot of supporting medical evidence of significant delay.

PerspicaciaTick Thu 26-Nov-15 23:21:43

My DS is a May baby (and quite immature in a lot of ways), but he has thrived at school. I think it really does vary from child to child, but I sometimes wonder if parents can slip into not giving their children enough credit for being able to blossom in school even if they aren't the oldest.

BarbarianMum Fri 27-Nov-15 12:26:22

All I'd say is that next September is a very long time away in terms of a 3 year old, she will change a lot before then. I'm not saying that a late start wouldn't benefit her, more that you should maybe make the decision next summer.

talkinnpeace Fri 27-Nov-15 13:18:31

As a May baby she will be 3 months older than the youngest in the year R class

fret not
she'll be fine

ConfusedInBath Fri 27-Nov-15 19:32:04

DS is end of August. He's just about kept up academically with his classmates. He is quite young for his age even now at 9. He has a tutor to help him ' catch up ' too.

Tbh I wouldn't worry too much about a May child. It's November so another 10 months till she starts school so I'm sure you'll see a massive difference in her by then.

talkinnpeace Fri 27-Nov-15 19:34:08

PS my DS is late August - he was a baby on his first day of school
he's now a hulking lump of year 11

Daffydil Fri 27-Nov-15 19:40:10

Our local council has said that summer-borns can defer and join reception the following year, with no quibbles. So it depends where you live.

We've decided not to defer for our August born DS, but one of my friends is deferring for her son.

SliceOfLime Fri 27-Nov-15 20:47:17

The Summer Born Campaign website and the associated Facebook group 'flexible school admissions' have loads more info on this, how to do it, pros and cons etc.

We've delayed our August born by a year, she's very bright but not emotionally ready. Her nursery teacher said this week that she's seen a few children delay over the years, sometimes she thinks it's the right decision, sometimes not, but for our daughter she thought it was the right decision- which was very reassuring! All kids are different, some will be ready for school at 4, some not. If you're not sure the why not look into it. In my view I'd rather her have the extra year of playing and nursery, it can only be a good thing!

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