Do your dc care how they do at school?

[hoolaloola]

My ds is 9 and in Y5. He really doesn't care about school and it seems to be getting worse. He does well (Level 5 in everything in reading/maths 4a in writing) but he is not interested. At school I think he is a bit more diligent but at home he won't engage at all. He will do his homework in the least possible time with minimum effort and then won't bother handing it in anyway. It makes me sad that he doesn't seem to care. My dd (7) isn't like this and really takes pride in her work.
Is this normal?

[Lovewearingjeans]

I would say yes! My DS is 12 very able, but the amount of effort he puts into homework, drives me to distraction, along with piano and violin practice. But he does work hard at school.

[DiamondAge]

It seems perfectly normal that people are motivated by different things. As a parent you can choose how much you 'manage' your children's motivations.

The most obvious is to tie their rewards into various aspects of school life/work, everything from TV / games to going out / favourite hobbies / time spent with friends.

You can also try to get to the bottom of why your DS's motivation is getting worse - is the work too easy, repetitive, too hard, friendship problems etc.

If taking pride in his work is something you want to see him develop then you need to find out what would motivate him to do this and act accordingly (of course this is easier said than done, but you will find it much easier to do this now than in, say, 4 years time)!

[measles64]

Min has become competitive at secondary level. He did not give a toss at primary level. Year 9 now just done exams, he is cross with himself for not doing better in Chemistry he was fourth in the year fhs. Boys develop later that is all.

[holmessweetholmes]

Dd is 9. She's very bright and can be quite competitive. She hates doing homework unless it's something she particularly likes. She really moans about it, which worries me a bit for the future. However, she absolutely loves her teacher, so she wouldn't go as far as actually failing to do the homework or not handing it in. Part of the problem is that she finds the homework boring and too easy, particularly when it's SPAG sheets.

[Mandzi34]

This can be my DS, also year 5. He is also level 5 for everything and one of the top few in the class but races through his homework to play in the garden. He moans constantly when asked to do anything and is just generally difficult. DD is in Year 3 and started well but now is following her brother. Also bright and very diligent in school but so lazy at home. I am at my wits end with both!