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To not have any sympathy

(18 Posts)
wineoclocktimeyet Tue 04-Mar-14 12:00:40

(Want to clarify I feel so so sorry ford the child but not the silly moo of a mother.)

distraught mum in playground this morning cos her darling child hasn't got her secondary school of choice BUT this is the same woman who back in October was spouting on about the fact she was only putting one school whose catchment area hasn't reached this far for at least the past 4 years.

She was told not to by, near enough, every mum she spoke to, the school's Deputy Head and apparently the local Council when she submitted her form <bash head on wall emoticon> but no, she knew better and now unsurprisingly they have been allocated a failing school 2 bus rides away.

Amazingly, no one I heard reminded her of the above and she's now shouting about appealing on the grounds that her Daughter is "too special to go to that dump"

Why are some people like this? Think the rules dont apply to them ? She is an educated woman, fully capable to reading all the application information and was warned so many times.

(I know it's really nothing to do with me, but her daughter is such a sweet girl and I'm totally gutted for her)

columngollum Tue 04-Mar-14 12:05:31

She can still go on the waitinglist for a sensible school. (But, I'd try to keep out of it, myself.)

jamtoast12 Tue 04-Mar-14 12:07:53

I agree it really annoys me. I went thought loadstone of hassle getting my dd is an out of catchment primary, almost not getting their siblings in etc etc and sil still only put one school down! No sympathy at all.

wineoclocktimeyet Tue 04-Mar-14 12:08:10

Oh, don't worry, I'm staying well out of it! That's whyim ranting on here wink

jamtoast12 Tue 04-Mar-14 12:08:46

She didn't get in and has declined her school so her dd has no school at all and LEA has no obligation to find one now.

columngollum Tue 04-Mar-14 12:11:37

Travel will always be a nightmare, but the irony is that the failing school will probably turn out to be fantastic after all its interventions!

steppemum Tue 04-Mar-14 12:13:03

I have a good friend, lovely sensible intelligent mum, who for primary admissions only put our school and no other, despite being very borderline in terms of distance. She got in, and tells people that she was so sure she wanted our school, that she only put one on the form, and so they gave her a place.

No matter how many times you tell people, it seems as if some people cannot get their heads around the fact that the system is, in essence computer generated and does not care two hoots about how much you like the school etc. Drives me mad

BambooBear13 Tue 04-Mar-14 13:29:00

Same here. I know 3 people who want our massively over subscribed school and are very borderline re distance. They have all put down 2 faith schools which they are not going to get places in as 2-3 choices. They are convinced that the LA will 'give them' choice 1 as they are not going to qualify for place elsewhere !!! (The others require baptism / church attendance and are also over subscribed!!!)

meditrina Tue 04-Mar-14 13:35:26

It's threads like this that reinforce my aversion to admissions lotteries.

There's nothing wrong with putting the 'it would take a small miracle, but we love it" school first, as long as you put "likely and we like" schools in the middle and "shithole, but at least it's our local dead cert shithole" as the banker in final position.

But with lotteries, you wouldn't have any dead cert schools (as not everyone can be in a priority inner catchment), and nearly everyone would be in a total gamble situation.

columngollum Tue 04-Mar-14 14:17:52

Some people will choose to use desperation rather than logic in such a situation. Nobody ever said that human beings were rational creatures. Basically, the system itself is irrational, because requiring parents to list schools that they do not want is based on the fear than they might be allocated something worse.

You can't really complain that someone's irrationality was no better than someone else's.

Snowdown Tue 04-Mar-14 15:39:58

Smug much? wink grin

cory Tue 04-Mar-14 15:53:13

I can see perfectly well where the OP is coming from. That poor girl. Her mother is in a situation where supporting her dd and making the best of the situation would make all the difference and she just isn't doing her parenting job. Shit situations happen. As a parent it is your job to teach your child how to deal with them.

IorekByrnisonsArmour Tue 04-Mar-14 15:54:05

DD got a place at her 1st choice school yay!!!

I am smug but we moved to this -god forsaken- place because, bizarrely it has 3 very good secondary schools confused

DD is so pleased and DP and I now know it was worth the hassle.

And please don't think we moved to an expensive area, we actually moved out of one as it was either private or a failing school.

kilmuir Tue 04-Mar-14 23:39:53

I imagine the daughter is used to her dumb mothers actions

Cerisier Tue 04-Mar-14 23:48:25

Why don't Dads get any of the blame here? Surely they have some input over where their DC are going to school?

TamerB Tue 04-Mar-14 23:49:08

People do this all the time. They don't realise that you need to study the admission criteria, the number of places v the number of applications per year and the number that get in on appeal. Their bizarre idea trumps it all! Until they find out the hard way.

givemeaclue Wed 05-Mar-14 14:40:55

There is a man in our local paper complaining his son has not got any of his 3 choices. the 3 schools are all highly oversubscribed lottery banding schools nowhere near the man lives, in various LEAS including out of borough. Why wouldn't he put down one school he has a realistic chance of getting in? Good grief, some people do not help themselves

columngollum Wed 05-Mar-14 16:34:29

Wasn't there some kind of education secretary somewhere who said all of the schools should be made better?

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