dd upset by boys ghost stories (4)

[familyfun]

dd came out of school quiet and seemed upset, she said a boy in her reception class has been telling her ghost stories that were scaring her and she asked him to stop but he wouldnt stop.
he has told her that he had a real friend who died and he is now a skeleton and he comes to his room at night and tickles him.
also he told her that men get shot by guns and blood shoots out of them and they die on the floor.
dd is upset, she doesnt watch tv except cbeebies and doesnt see violence on tv/news and gets easily scared and has nightmares about monsters.
i have told her there are no ghosts, nothing will come to her room and she has nothing to worry about.
i have told her to ignore him and if he tells her anything else to go and tell the teacher.
i am tempted to go into school tomorrow and ask them to keep an eye on things, am i overreacting?
what really bothers me is she asked him to stop and he wouldnt and he told her it is real life not made up.
?

[familyfun]

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[anthonytrollopesrevenge]

. I would have a word with her teacher after school, so she can keep an eye on the situation and make sure it doesn't keep happening. And yes, just as you are doing, reassure your daughter and tell her to keep away from the boy. Tell her to walk away if he starts more scary stories saying she doesn't want to listen.

My DS, now in yr 4 and not easily scared, was often upset in yr r and in yr 1 by real world grown up stories and some children, especially those with teenage siblings, tell some scary and often confused stories. His teachers were helpful, it's always best to keep them informed.

[3duracellbunnies]

I would maybe talk to the teacher, but remember children all have different levels of imagination and tolerance for these things. Mine love horrible histories and beg for ghost stories. We always empahsise that we don't know if ghosts are true or not, but use it as a vehicle for encouraging critical thinking.

Dd1 was in a class with mainly children with older siblings, so she had to grow up quite quickly, she started on cbebbies, but we have gradually introduced some cbbc programmes. Dd2 has picked up loads of things from her, and ds (2) already loves horrible histories.

The boy does sound as if he has some issues, but the best thing is to help her both at home and at school to practise with role play telling him she doesn't believe in ghosts, if she seems to him to get upset/scared he will do it more.

[crazygracieuk]

Poor dd.

Children with older siblings (like my youngest) often pick up older topics and talk about them freely at school. I know that ds2 and his friends played Zombies and Call of Duty in Reception (basically running around and shouting) where as ds1 was a lot more innocent and playing tamer games like cops and robbers.
I would mention it to the teacher so that she can keep an eye on things.

[grubbalo]

I would also bear in mind that it's very easy to blame Call of Duty etc, but he equally may have been watching the 6 o'clock news about Syria... still horrible yes but you have no idea about the whole picture. My DS (also 4) is obsessed by guns / shooting / death etc - to someone else it might sound as though he had "issues", but they don't know how much I am stressing at home that we don't shoot people, lots of people don't like guns, it makes mummy upset if we point guns at people etc.

I also reinforce that if we are doing something that makes somebody upset, then we should stop doing it, whatever that may be. So agree he should be stopping if it is making your daughter upset or worried - and on that basis worth mentioning to the teacher.

[EightiesChick]

3duracellbunnies "We always empahsise that we don't know if ghosts are true or not, but use it as a vehicle for encouraging critical thinking."

How? With kids of what age?

[learnandsay]

Surely there's a limit to what the teacher can do if the boy is merely talking to the girl, not harming her in any way. Surely there's always going to be a bit of boys being boys and girls being girls involved in any mix of children. My daughter who's only three is always talking about how much she dislikes the boys in her playgroup and only wants to invite girls to her party. There's a difference between doing something wrong and doing something we don't like. My daughter naturally separates herself from the boys she doesn't like and teams up with the girls she does. I guess you could call her group a clique.