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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

constant picking by teacher

18 replies

robsy0786 · 13/10/2011 17:51

my dd is in yr6and her teacher somewhat keeps picking on her.Her raffle ticket fell out of her tray so the teacher checked the number out and found out it was my dd.In front of the whole class she asked what length of punishment should this person get, some said 2 mins and some said 5 mins off her break time then she told them my dd name and start llaughing at her and rest of the class joined in.Second time my dd rubbed 1 inch off a drawing off the white board and the teacher announced to the whole class and wrote on the white board in big writing her name and again 5 mins off her playtime.The teacher hasnt punished anyone else like this and tends to overlook others mistakes. The question is should i approach her or the head?

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Feenie · 13/10/2011 18:04

The first incident doesn't sound nice at all, and you would be right to go in and ask what happened.

The second incident sounds like your dd is at fault really. Why did she rub something off the whiteboard? I don't think 5 mins is excessive if it was deliberate.

How could you possibly know that she overlooks others' mistakes?

ScareyFairenuff · 13/10/2011 18:17

In the first example the teacher asked what length of punishment before she revealed your dds name, but it's not clear why they should all laugh at that . And what was the raffle ticket all about? Is there more to this story because it doesn't make much sense.

The second example might be how the teacher 'records' the names of children missing play, to write it on the board.

Either way, these do not appear to be appropriate behaviour management strategies as they are humiliating to your dd.

It sounds as if the teacher is getting really fed up with your dds behaviour though. I think you could arrange a meeting with the teacher and ask if there are any problems with dds behaviour as she has mentioned a couple of things at home.

Feenie · 13/10/2011 18:19

Writing names on the board is standard - although I don't do it myself (have never needed to, I have never kept so many in that I wouldn't remember ).

TheFallenMadonna · 13/10/2011 18:24

I always write the names of students who are on a warning on the board. And the names of students who have made a good contribution.

I don;t understand the first incident.

DownbytheRiverside · 13/10/2011 18:50

The head will probably ask you if you have spoken to the teacher first, and TBH if you only have this garbled account from your DD, you need to get the rest of the story.
'In front of the whole class...' used for dramatic effect twice?
If she's mucking around and rubbing work off the board, then of course the consequences are going to be instant and in front of others. It's hardly a delicate and confidential matter.

AICM · 13/10/2011 22:00

I can ask who is telling you the teacher is picking on your child?

clam · 13/10/2011 22:12

Honestly?

Sounds to me like the raffle ticket business was a silly but of leg-pulling by the teacher and your DD over-reacted.

Board-rubbing? She misbehaved and missed a few minutes' play. Get over it.

Hardly "constant" picking, if it's picking at all.

skybluepearl · 13/10/2011 22:21

leg pulling with the first incident. second incident you DD was at fault. She did something wrong and should expect to be punished.

25hourdaymum · 14/10/2011 06:22

I've been a wittness to many a classroom antic and over the years, yes picking on kids by the teacher DOES happen ... sort of if yr face fits etc.
From the incidences you've described, yr dd's teacher seems to be nit-picking.
At one school, the year 1&2 teacher was hauled over for doing this ... putting up a new thread in a mo about Primary School Discipline. Will be grateful for some thoughts on it.
Hope you get it sorted at yr dd's school.

Bucharest · 14/10/2011 08:16

I'd choose my battles.
Yr 6 is old enough to know, in the second instance she shouldn't have done it.
I don't understand the first example?

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 08:20

unless you're in the classroom i really don't see how you can know how the teacher treats other children - you can only have your child's word that she tends to overlook others bad behaviour.

if you're worried make an appointment to see the teacher and talk to her - tell her dd has been bringing up stuff and ask her to explain.

cory · 14/10/2011 08:40

otoh picking happens

otoh over-dramatic accounts also happen

if you do go in, you need to go in with an open mind

CupOfBrownJoy · 14/10/2011 08:46

Sounds like a typical garbled story given to you by a primary age child.

How can you possibly know your dd is the only one singled out? Has your dd told you this?

Unless there is much more to the story, I think you should tell your dd to make sure she doesn't do anything that she can be singled out for, and to suck up the punishment if she's caught out.

cory · 14/10/2011 08:53

I have sometimes found that dd comes home and tells me something like this and sounds very indignant, but when it comes to the crunch and she has had time to think about it she doesn't actually want me to interfer.

What she wants a safe place to rant. In her heart of hearts she knows that there may well be two sides to the story, but she needs to let off steam. If I reacted every time, I wouldn't be a very safe person to do that too.

I like to be able to rant about a bad day at work without dh scooting off to have it out with my boss: I think sometimes childrens' needs are not so different to our own. Sometimes what they need is just a few sooting words: oh dear, I can tell you've had a bad day, don't let it worry you too much, tomorrow is a new day.

Which is not to say that I haven't gone in when things have been really serious. But I try to think carefully first and ascertain what she is actually saying.

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 09:46

good post cory and very good point re: she needs to let off steam. If I reacted every time, I wouldn't be a very safe person to do that too.

stealthsquiggle · 14/10/2011 09:52

yy to Cory's post. I find my DS want to know that I will intervene if he wants me to, but on sober reflection (i.e. the next morning) when I ask if he wants me to or not, the answer is almost always no.

Does the teacher really overlook all mistakes from others? No-one else has ever lost time off their break? Seems unlikely, TBH.

snailoon · 14/10/2011 09:57

Children NEVER want parents to intervene. They are always worried about making a fuss, even when a fuss is needed (serious bullying). Maybe there are exceptions to this rule.
Parents have a tricky job deciding when they need to speak up.
In this case I agree with swallowed a fly and cory.

stealthsquiggle · 14/10/2011 10:16

Not so, snailoon - there have been a couple of instances when DS has said yes please could I speak to his form teacher - because he knows that it would be an off the record conversation which his classmates are not aware of.

..that said, that was concerning issues with classmates rather than with a teacher.

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