Teacher has labelled DD as fussy.....

[natw15]

DD is in yr 2 and just been for a chat with her teachers who have no concerns around her academic ability but have labelled her as fussy and attention seeking. DD is not like this at home, she can be a bit of a slow coach when asked to do something and is easily distracted but not to the level school are saying. DD is always last to sit on the carpet, gets involved in other children's arguments, complains of feeling ill/falling over etc and is generally last in the class to settle down......any advice on what I can do at home? :(

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

Well what a perfectly shitty & downright unpleasant thing for the teacher to say to you! I would complain to be honest. And if she ain't like this at home, then it is their problem to deal with, no? You have no control really over what is happening in school. Set up a meet with head of year + class teacher and go over it all again with them.

[yellowvan]

Not a shitty thing to say at all, maybe teacher could have shown more tact, but issues like what you have described do impact on the learning in the classroom, dd's AND her classmates, if staff are always having to wait for dd to be ready before the lesson can begin.
You need to talk to dd in those terms i think, appeal to her sense of 'fairness', and being one-of-thirty. Check she has snack, drink, toilet etc at break to ward off the 'feeling ill'. Does she realise she's fussing? what is she like with the other chn? Does she have good friendships that can be used to set good example or encourage competition ('first one ready')? What behaviour managemeent does the school have? Can she have a sticker chart (if thats your/their/her thing) to reward readiness?

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

yellowvan - the teachers will have numerous methods of dealing with this sort of behaviour AND it really can only be dealt with at the time it is happening, no? Therefore at the school. The child is what 6 or 7 max? Behaviour management at the school is what is needed here. "Fussy" & "Attention-seeking" are very inflammatory words to use about a 6 year old child. Shown more tact? You bet.
If you were described as "Fussy" and "Attention-seeking" in your annual appraisal, would you say this is not a shitty thing to say?

[madwomanintheattic]

just chivvy her along. i'm sure the distraction and slow-coachiness is worse in a busier and distraction rich environment.

school will cope with it - but you need to get her to stay on task etc at home as well. lots of y2s are drama queens as well, it's when they start to identify a bit of classroom hierarchy. not unusual at all.

(and not a shitty thing to say - clearly the dd is doing well academically but is a bit of a fusser, which does impact on the ability of the teacher to get on with, well, teaching the 30 kids she has)

[madwomanintheattic]

don't be daft, cave, you'd use different words to describe the same behaviour of an adult in an annual appraisal. i've written enough of them. the meaning would still be clear.

i don't see fussy as a derogatory term for a child - more descriptive. and pointing out something that needs to be worked on so that they don't disrupt the other children. as an adult, the other adults would just ignore your fusiing and get on with their own work. (and talk about you behind your back). these are children who are waiting for direction and education, not employees who already know what their jobs are and have been hired because they are capable of doing them.

[dikkertjedap]

I think the teacher is being honest with you which enables you to work with the school to address the issues raised. It is far worse, and in my experience quite common, for teachers not to tell these things as they do not want to upset the parents and then have to deal with parents complaining.

It is not enough to be bright, children also need to develop the right attitude to learning. Doing as told (e.g. sitting on the carpet in a timely manner), focusing on what she is being asked to do, not getting involved in other children's arguments, is all part of developing the right attitude.

I would second a sticker chart. It would be best to discuss this with school as you would need a way to communicate with school to find out whether she did well that day or not. At home, when you ask her to do something, you will want her to do it without dragging her feet. You could use a sand timer for some tasks.

[ScareyFairenuff]

I seem to spend half my day 'rounding up' slow children, trying to chivvy them along. They're always last to unpack their bags in the morning, take ages to come back from the toilet, eat their lunch at a snail's pace. They really will get left behind if they don't start trying to pay attention!

Often these children are just standing watching others, getting involved in other children's conversations, fussily making sure their coat is perfectly lined up or rearranging lunch boxes into a tidy line, instead of getting on with the task in hand.

she can be a bit of a slow coach when asked to do something and is easily distracted

If you are noticing this at home I would suggest focusing on trying to get her to concentrate on one thing at a time. A tick list for getting ready in the morning, maybe use a timer, and reward her for being quick and efficient. Plan some 'down' time after school where she can just relax after a busy day. What strategies are they using in school?

[LynetteScavo]

"You have no control really over what is happening in school. "

Hahahah! I must remember that one!

At home try and get her to focus on the task in hand, and do what she is asked when she is asked. I think children tend to adopt strategies for coping in school, and your DD is saying she feels ill to get attention. Suggest to her the teacher might be pleased if she is the first sitting quietly on the carpet. Hopefully the teacher will notice her settling quicker and give her some praise.

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

I have had gin.
I am now off my high horse
Off to do some period maths now!
OP - hope you get sorted.

[madwomanintheattic]

the power of gin.

[CavemanDaveIsVeryBrave]

The gin has calmed me down :) what a shitty day. Should never dabble in unanswered messages after a shitty day :D