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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Teachers or Mums with experience...why won't DD hand in her Homework?

15 replies

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 10/10/2011 16:23

She is 7 and in year 3 in a new school....they're happy with her so far apart from a blip at the start of term when she was producing work very slowly...nothing new there...she was like this in her last school! They got on top of if fast and apparently she has speeded up her output.

She now has an issue with not handing her homework in. They only get ONE piece per week...and in her last school it was daily! It's usually a fun or creative thing...she can be a bit difficult about doing it but usually finishes it.

For the last 3 weeks she has faild to hand it in on Monday....because her Dad was doing the school run he failed to check when he picked her up....and so she came home with it in her bag daily despite my reminding her and him to make sure it went in. I told him that he needed to look in her bag at the end of the day and if the HW was still in there, he should take her back to hand it in.

ANyway...I went to collect today and sure enough it was stil in there....DD went so far as to attempt to wrestle it from my hands... I took her and the work back to the teacher who said "I asked if she had it this morning and she said No!" she was like this and this she said "We'll have to do checks won't we?"

Which is crap. DD should be able to be responsible...WHY wont she hand it in?? Her writing isn't great but its not terrible. She goes happy each day....she leaves happy....she seems HAPPY! It's annoying me!

OP posts:

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Iamnotminterested · 10/10/2011 16:34

You say that her writing isn't great, could it be that other children are making fun of it when she hands stuff in? Just a thought? kids can be cruel.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 10/10/2011 16:35

It's definately not bad enough to laugh at....she can write "joined up" very well....but its an effort.

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mrsshears · 10/10/2011 17:01

I have to say i thought along the same lines as iamnotinterested
It does seem that she is very reluctant for anyone to see it,thats not to say it is bad enough to be laughed at,sometimes children just do things like that,dd once had a friend comment that she had used a word twice in a story and even that knocked her confidence a bit so you never know.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 10/10/2011 17:08

But the teacher sees it all day! She also as I say, writes fine...it's not great but it's just not the best...not awful. SHe hates the ACT of writing...but often will admire the result.

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SecretNutellaFix · 10/10/2011 17:31

Does she have a perfectionist streak in her about certain things?

If she doesn't feel it's very good, she may feel embarrassed handing it in. Regardless of whether it's poor or brilliant, if she believes it isn't worth showing her teacher, she won't hand it in.

whenIgetto3 · 10/10/2011 18:02

maybe she is just like my DS and gets involved straight away at school with friends etc and just forgets to hand it in then when the teacher asks her specifically is embarrassed to say "oh yes it's here" DSs teacher last year used to just check his book bag as he would always forget then say he didn't have it as he was upset that he had forgotten to do something.

sittinginthesun · 10/10/2011 18:32

Have you tried to have a chat with her about it? Not at the time, but at another time when she is more willing to talk?

My DS1 is in year 3, and I have given up trying to second guess him when he is upset. I have found that it is easier to find a time when he is relaxed, like after bathtime, and just ask him what is wrong.

aries12 · 10/10/2011 19:36

I think this type of behaviour is quite common for 7 year olds. Many are "dreamy" and easily distracted by friends e.t.c. My Dd is the same age and often forgets these things. It's the exact same as some of the others from listening to parents at collection time. I often get texts from other parents enquiring about homework/spelings/reading e.t.c
Some days she forgets coats/cardigans/bags..which drives me crazy!! She is a bright child...sticks her head into books..reads them and is totally oblivious to some basic things like taking her coat home or handing in her homework..maybe there is a diagnosis for this...??? .I have now reached the stage that I have told her off so much that she gets flustered when I ask about something so I am just leaving her to it for now

IndigoBell · 10/10/2011 19:41

Does she get kept in at break if she doesn't hand her homework in? And does she not like break?

ChinaInYourHands · 10/10/2011 19:58

Aries that sounds so much like my DS also in Y3. He misplaces his reading record book, forgets his book bag, loses his jumper, fails to hand in spellings... The list is endless. Something to get angry about every single day.

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 10/10/2011 20:24

We're new to the school and the teacher hasn't said that they get kept in at break Indigo I think she's being quite lenient because DD is new.

Bt it's possible that she get embarrased about forgetting...she is dreamy. Maybe it was a kind of shame that made her not want me to take it to the teacher at pick up today...

OP posts:

LazyDaisy123 · 10/10/2011 20:30

Does the teacher have a spot to hand homework in? Or is it handed directly to teacher?
Sounds like you need to give her lots of praise when she does hand it in - tell her you'll (add reward she'll like here) if she's handed it in on a monday.
IE play her ds for 10 mins on a school night (works for my ds!)

minxthemanx · 10/10/2011 20:34

My gut reaction is that 7 year olds shouldn't have homework, they've worked hard in school all day and that's enough. but that's my personal opinion. I reckon she is just being tizzy and disorganised, and I don't blame her.

Makingchanges · 10/10/2011 20:43

Do they hand it in or do they discuss / share it. I'm just wondering if its fun/creative if they are asked to share what they did and she doesn't like doing this and so says she hasn't done it??

I think the praise and trying to talk to her when she is relaxed are the way to go

Elibean · 10/10/2011 20:54

My bet would be either what Aries said (ie forgetful/dreamy/preoccupied with other things far more important - to her - than homework) or possibly she's angry about homework, or school, on some level and just expressing it in a slightly unconscious way. That might sound far fetched, but I've noticed my own dd1 - who is in Y3, not a new school but 'upstairs' in Juniors, which is a change - had a lot of feelings about having to be so grown up/getting back to work after holidays and they came out in weird and wonderful ways at times!

I would give it to her not in her book bag, ie in her hand to carry in, and leave it to the teacher to gently remind her next week. I wouldn't say too much more about it, but I might ask her - in a good moment - how it feels to be so big and in Y3, and whether the responsibility sometimes feels hard still. Or somesuch.

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