Agh, I can't believe I'm about to write this..

[SydneyB]

Having read many of these threads over the years and thought, chill out lady. But here I am. 3 days a weeks DD is picked up by our nanny. Yesterday the nanny told me that another mum, a friend of mine, told my DD off about something that had happened in the playground at lunchtime. I am cross about this as a) I firmly believe that parents should never get involved in school squabbles - talk to the teacher if you're really worried, not the parent and certainly not the child AND she wasn't there at the time of the 'incident' and this was hours later; b) I am cross that she did this in front of our loved and very brilliant nanny who is in charge of DD when we're not there. Result, nanny offended, DD upset and confused, Me FURIOUS. I'm sure I've got years of this to come and I don't want to start a school gate argument but I kind of feel I need to address it in some way. Or should I just forget it and move on? Advice pls!

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

well, you could either
a) leave it and just keep an eye on it, and then if it happens again address it.
or
b) talk to the other mum, in a breezy way and say something like "I hear the kids had a problem at lunch time the other day? If it happens again, it would be brilliant if you could talk to ME, not the nanny, about it, and I will deal with dd as I see fit."

Ugh though. Dealing with the other mums on the school run is hideous isn't it? At least yours aren't nearly having punch ups in the playground at pick up time, like they are at my ds's school......

[snice]

If you think its anything other than a one-off I would nip this behaviour from the other parent in the bud.

As a warning to you-we have had a problem with a particular mother for years who would regularly tackle other children in the playground even when she was picking up her youngest from pre school in the middle of the day. She reduced a couple of children to tears. I gave her both barrels when she tried to tackle my daughter and shes since backed off!

[SydneyB]

Good advice there, thank you. I'm astonished at how CROSS it has made me, though!

[lovingthecoast]

Yes, it is a little out of order. I'm all for community parenting and would be more than happy for another parent to tell my child off for something they'd actually seen. But to reprimand a child for something that happened at lunchtime is ridiculous and yes, to act as if your nanny wasn't even there is also unacceptable.

[snice]

I'm not surprised you were cross Sydney-I was absolutely furious when this happened to my DD and went into full on scary mum mode -it worked though!

[SydneyB]

Yes, that's just it lovingthecoast, there's a real community where we live, I like the fact that other mums see my kids when I'm at work, and I would have absolutely no problem with them telling them off if they behaved badly in front of them. I think that what really sticks in the craw is that it really cuts to my own insecurities about not being there at the school gate every day. The thought of my DD being told off without me being there to back her up if you see what I mean?