Sex education... Babies... HELP!

[MorkFromOrk]

at what age should you have the talk?
I'm slightly concerned that my DD thinks it's not her Aunts fault she got pregnant soo young.. the baby monster did it

[FlyingPirates]

Just answer questions as and when the issue comes up. My 4 yr old knows that babies come from lady's 'bits' and got there because the man and woman had a special cuddle. Obviously as he gets older I will elaborate.

[AndiMac]

Yes, my general thinking is that if they are old enough to ask the question, they are old enough to get an answer. Suitable to their age, but correct. In the meantime, gloss over with vague facts until they ask more.

I had to answer for my 4 year old DD how exactly her little brother came out of my tummy! She kind of giggled at the answer of "He came out of my vagina" and asked if I peed him out in the toilet. I explained it wasn't exactly the same place as where I peed and no, there was no toilet or pee involved. I figured the gory details can wait several decades. (No pee DD, but as for other bodily fluids...)

[MorkFromOrk]

Prob is, she's never been too inquisitive, so I've not had a reason to go into it in detail. She knows where they come out, she isn't aware of sex. She isn't 'young'!

[AndiMac]

Well, does she honestly think the "baby monster" got her Aunt pregnant? Or is that the nickname of Aunt's boyfriend?

[nooka]

How young is 'not young'? I don't think a 'the talk' approach is the best way to go personally, I've had lots and lots of conversations with my children probably starting at about aged four or so, each time going into more depth, or covering more ground. This year they both had some really excellent sex education at school, but at 12 and 11 I felt it was important that the session reinforced what they already knew. I would have been very concerned if they been surprised at what they heard /learned anything significant new to them. Sometimes they have asked questions and sometimes I've used something that came up to start the conversation up.

But then I wouldn't have been telling them that someone was on their own responsible for getting pregnant or that it was that person's fault.

[Northumberlandlass]

My DS was 4 when first asked where babies come from. We discussed that he had his willie (he knows the proper name btw too) and that I had a vagina (he calls it Foofy..haven't a clue why)... I told i had a selection of holes, one for wee, one for poo and one for babies.

I declined his request for me to show them to him

I have since gone into more detail each time he asks, he is 8 now and knows the basics about periods, babies etc. It only becomes a big deal if you make it so.

[crazygracieuk]

It's been a gradual process here. Ds1 found out that he came out of my vagina at 4ish. Dd asked at 6ish. Ds2 is 5 and knows this but has never asked. Ds1 asked questions about sex at 7 ish. Dd was 8ish and 5 year old ds2 has not asked. They all knew about periods at 3-4ish.

Ds1 had sex education in year 5. Dd is now yr 4 and has not had sex ed at school. Most of her friends know about sex and periods. You don't say how old your dd is but I would start with periods.

[MorkFromOrk]

DD is 10! She knows about periods, knows where babies come out but from her response on the weekend (I was discussing her Aunt being pregnant at a young age... Didn't say it was anyone's fault! But DD piped up.. 'its not her fault... bla bla bla... If the baby monster....)
No she wasn't refering to my DSis boyfriend. DD doesn't get on well with friends, is about to be refered to the paed for anxiety and social issues.
I didn't realise it hadn't been covered when the nurse popped in last year along with the periods etc...
I just need a best approach to raise the subject and educate her before its too late...now is late enough as it is!
Talk about failed parenting

[nooka]

It's never too late! I'd treat this as a good opportunity to start talking to her - your Aunt's pregnancy seems like a good starting point. I'd start off by asking her how she thinks babies are started off (something like 'so about that babymonster dd, how do you think babies come about?'). Nothing too heavy, just a bit of a chat to get the conversation started off, and then over the next few months you can gradually let her know more as she seems ready (given her anxiety).