Taking the gloss off - it's another school report thread, sorry!

[ExpectoPatronum]

This is an AIBU really, but it can be a bit of a nuthouse over there, so I'm putting it here instead.

DS2 (3rd DC, fwiw) is just coming to the end of reception. He's a summer-born boy, so was only just 4 when he started in September.

We had two 'incidents' in the first couple of weeks of school:

1. The first day they had lunch in school, everyone in his class finished before him and went out to play. DS2 was left sitting at the table in the school hall by himself, panicked and started to cry. Wouldn't stop crying and tell the headteacher what the matter was, so she made him sit in a side room by himself all afternoon, sobbing, and wouldn't let him rejoin his class until he told her why he was crying
   

1. Second incident was sheer bloody-mindedness - his class teacher asked him to do something and he refused to cooperate, and yes he deserved to be in trouble for it, but it happened in the first week of October.
   

So since then, there hasn't been one jot of trouble in school. He loves school, he is well-behaved, he has made brilliant progress. He's got lots of friends and is always coming home with stickers that he's got for good behaviour. He was voted in as school councillor for his class, he has brought home two end of term awards for numeracy and literacy. He's been moved into the 'top' group in his class, and is bringing home reading books a level higher than any other child. (I don't seriously think this stuff matters, I'm not actually that precious, I tell you only to illustrate that it has been a highly successful year.

AIBU to feel a bit sad that both his class teacher and his headteacher have chosen to write something on his report about 'early incidents of stubbornness' and 'initial reluctance to cooperate in big school'?

We're talking about two things (and I'd dispute whether the first one could really be blamed on him) that happened nine months ago in a (just) 5 y.o's life.

I feel like it's taken some of the gloss off what should have been a really great report.

[redskyatnight]

I think it depends on how it is included. If they are included in the point of view that he struggled at first but has grown in confidence/his behaviour has improved over the year, I think it is a valid point to include. If it suggests that his behaviour is still like that, I'd be annoyed. Presumably they did include the "good stuff" as well?

[ragged]

If those two phrases are all they said about his rough start then I think you are over-reacting. It's just paperwork at end of the day. You and he know he had a good year, ultimately.

DS also had an awful start in September (y2).

[ExpectoPatronum]

I think you're both right, and also I know his class teacher quite well and I'm confident that it's meant in a 'look how much he's come on' sort of a way rather than as a negative. Just wish they hadn't drawn attention to it at all.

I'm certainly not going to make an issue of it at school, anyway. If I started on that, then I might be forced to mention the part on DD's report where it says how much she enjoyed after-school tennis club (never lifted a racquet in her life)

Hope your DS's year picked up, ragged.

[ragged]

It did improve a lot, Expecto, thank goodness! DS had a great teacher, always tried to find and bring out the best in him. He's a difficult little sod bit awkward, so All Credit to Her.

[Doowrah]

Its the truth...don't worry about it...

[blackeyedsusan]

sounds a bit negative... and a just 4 year old saying why he is crying is harsh, they don't all have the vocabulary yet.

[ExpectoPatronum]

well yes, that particular incident was handled badly by the school, IMHO.

Oh well, water under the bridge now.

[hester]

Ah, school reports - as a veteran of, well, just one (my dd has also just finished reception) I've already got a bit cynical about their purpose and function. They don't really TELL you much, do they? And anything they do tell you is a bit odd? My dd's said "she is learning to cope with school and we now see far fewer tears". Far fewer tears?? I wasn't aware there were ANY tears - nothing has ever been mentioned, all year long!

I'm very surprised at how much you know about your ds' achievements, by the way. I have absolutely no idea how my dd compares to her classmates, whether this even if a top group and if so if she is in it, what reading level her peers are on. The teachers make absolutely damn sure we get no comparative information, and the report doesn't give grades or scores or anything. I honestly have absolutely no idea whether she's the class genius or the class dunce, and I suppose that doesn't matter - or does it?

[ExpectoPatronum]

well no, as you so correctly say, it doesn't matter, providing she is happy, settled, making good progress and so on. I suppose it would matter to you if your child was significantly, majorly 'behind' where you would expect them to be at the end of reception, but if that was the case then surely you would know about it before the end of the year.

I only know the stuff I know about my DS in relation to his classmates because I happen to work within the school in a non-teaching capacity. Otherwise I wouldn't have a clue either.