what do you write on report slip?

[ButWhyIsTheGinGone]

Hi all,
Am just wondering what kind of comments (if any) you put on your child's report acknowledgement slip.
Our reports went out on Friday and I've only had 2 back so far. One was really complimentary and one was horrible, to the point where it contained lies about things I am meant to have said and done over the year. Obviously I am annoyed at having to store this and hand it in.

I dont want people thinking I'm looking for a stream of parental bum-kissings, but you would think if parents had real problems with me they would contact me during the year, as opposed to a paragraph of vitriol?

Sorry if I'm moaning - just wondering if anyone would care to discuss?

[saintfranksdisco]

No, I would'nt dream of storing up comments with regard to problems that may have happened over the year. Parents have the opportunity to meet with teachers to discuss any problems as they arise. It also works both ways and teachers should not use reports to spring any surprises onto parents as again any problems should be flagged as and when they arise (not saying you have done that of course).

[TheOriginalFAB]

It can work both ways. My son's report seems to focus on some difficulties he had months ago and not on how well he has come on academically .

[magicmummy1]

No, I wouldn't use the comments form to raise any issues that I hadn't already discussed previously.

We commented on dd's report on how delighted we were with her progress this year, and we thanked the teacher for all her hard work and support. I also added a comment about dd's own reaction to the report, and dd wrote a little thank you message on the end.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

We've never had a report acknowledgement slip? We have an informal open evening where we can go and discuss the report if necessary, but nothing is in writing.

[Itsjustafleshwound]

As said earlier, it depends on what has been revealed in the report. I did mention an issue on my report slip as although the report did highlight issues that were raised, my comments I made to the teacher were never included in the report or acknowledged.

[ButWhyIsTheGinGone]

Thanks for the comments. I hope I've never sprung any unpleasant surprises in a report - I would hope our parents evenings and informal chats would cover any pressing issues. I'm just having a bit of a childish sulk really - I feel I've done a lot for this child regarding friendship and confidence issues. It just knocked me a bit to receive such a negative comment form.

EllenJane - we have opening evening this week as well. I am looking forward to meeting the new parents but slightly nervous as well. We shall see.

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

You'll be fine, most of us don't bite and are probably intimidated by you!

[BerylOfLaughs]

I wrote a comment about the report and then said how lovely all the Reception team were and how much DD had enjoyed herself.

[Ingles2]

this year, for the first time, I wrote a negative comment box. The teacher has been very poor, and then was fired made redundant. she cut and pasted a couple of stock phrases in huge type with not a single personal comment to suggest she knew ds2. Unfortunately ds1 had an incredible report, with loads and loads of detailed info, so it really showed how poor hers was...
generally though, it is a shame to get to this stage and not having discussed any problems in detail, so I'm not surprise you feel sore about it Gin.

[mumtoone]

I would write something brief and positive in tone. If I had concerns about what had been written I would speak to the teacher about it. I'm not surprised you are unhappy about it, particularly if there has been no prior discussion of the issues. All you can do at this stage is let it wash over. I'm shocked at the way some parents talk to the staff at ds's school. Its horrible just to witness it.

[mo3d]

I normally thank the teacher for all their hard work over the year. Then ask dd if she wants to write something (the school encourages this).

If I had a problem I would never wait til the slip. What's the point in that? How would anything get solved? That must be very frustrating for you because now it's too late to solve any problems that parent thinks there were.

[BeauBelles]

purs was copy and paste right through, except the final teacher comment.

The whole thing matched a classmates. We were laughing over coffee about them when we realised they seemed identical, So we got last years out, and guess what, word for word. Not impressed.

Year 6 as well, yet the teacher appears not to know the child.

[Elibean]

Sounds horrid, Gin. We don't have report slips, as far as I know, but if we did then no - of course I wouldn't raise something there for the first time.

Hard to say, not having any background, but I would bet the parent in question was not entirely rational - at least at the time of writing the comment. IME, people who behave in that way have their own issues going on that are very little (if anything) to do with the person they are focussing on.

Give yourself some TLC and let it go - there's always one

[dixiechick1975]

Just done DD's said we were extremely pleased with how DD has progressed and enjoyed reception and many thanks to all the staff.

[rebl]

I've written that its a very positive report but please could we see her EYFS levels and have some indication of her stengths and weaknesses.

We've got a generic report that tells us she can count to 10 (well she started school being able to do that) and can stand up and talk in show and tell.

We've not actually said thank you to the teacher because quite frankly she's made our dc's (and our) lives hell this year and she knows it so there's no point writting something that she knows isn't true.

[iceandsliceplease]

I didn't bother filling in DS's slip last year as his life was made hell (in Reception Class FFS!) by another boy who bullied him relentlessly. I went to see the teachers several times and felt that they just didn't handle it as well as they could have done, although I really liked the school overall. I didn't want to seem arsy, so felt it best to say nothing.

This year, I've seen DS return to the character he always had, he seems so happy, loves school again, has some really good friends. His school report is average in academic terms, but good in personal stuff. His teacher has been brilliant (a bit scarily strict at times), but she noticed and talked to me when DS was sad because my dad was ill (she didn't know this, just noticed that DS was not his usual self for a few days).

I sent in a glowing report slip. Especially because the headmaster takes the time to read and then add a handwritten comment to each report. The same headmaster stands at the main door each morning and welcomes in each child by name. Small thing, but it means a lot.

[mariamagdalena]

Have written loads in the little box, because it's the one place where a parent's views are recorded formally. That said, my failure to do this and challenge inaccurate reports in the past has caused delay with meeting one of my dc's additional needs. And I always put a thank you!

This report round was excellent in that the teachers clearly knew the dc v. well and had gone to a lot of trouble in personalising the comments, and providing useful feedback about areas that need developing. I'm sure there was some cut and paste as well but frankly, I don't blame them with 30 to do.

[letthembe]

Lovely message maria. Bits of reports are cut and paste - there are only so many ways to say things that relate to subjects. But general comments have to be personal.
Anyway OP, I have 26 reply slips back (out of 30). Most have a comment - couple of sentences saying that they (the parents) are pleased with the progress and thank you. A few are lovely paragraphs about how happy their child has been. The head checks with us if any replies are overly negative and either she or the teacher rings/meets the parent.
When I finally get my own DC's reports I will be praising my DD's teacher - DD is happy, made progress and the teacher always responds to any queries. My DS on the other hand - is currently being bullied, the teacher is cold and I am not happy with the progress.

[PastSellByDate]

ButWhyIsTheGinGone:

Look I can understand that from your point of view as a teacher you've worked hard. It may be that you've had to really battle for kids in your class who've been struggling - but from a parent's point of view we're just interested in our child.

I think what parents would like to see - because I have complained to teachers & the Head about certain problems at our school - is that often it is coming from a place of lack of understanding. Why is this happening? What is the purpose? What will be the benefit? So although it is upsetting - when you've had a bit of space maybe you need to think about why there is a complaint and is their any validity in it.

Did you explain to parents what is going on?
Did you answer parents questions constructively?
Were you helpful?
Were you supportive?
Were you positive?
Did you offer practical suggestions on how to deal with the issue?

If you were angry or defensive (which I've had from our DDs school) - I'm afraid that just comes across as deeply unprofessional, which has the result of making the parents even less confident of your ability as a teacher.

If you sincerely did you best - then fair enough. But if in fact you just gave fairly vague answers or weren't that proactive in helping parents to deal with whatever the issue is - then they are right to complain and you should take it on the chin.

Look it isn't easy being a teacher - but it also isn't easy being a parent who is worried about their child and what's going on at school. Hopefully both you and parents/ carers have the common ground of wanting the best for the child and because of that you should be able to work together to resolve the issue. If you didn't do that successfully this year - then perhaps the way to think about this is how could you handle this or a similar situation better next time.

[letthembe]

Pastthesellbydate:

There lies the problem with modern society - "from a parent's point of view we're just interested in our child."

Perhaps a little compassion for others or the collective and the teaching world (and society in general) would not be facing the increasing numbers of arrogant, egotistical, cotton-wooled brats!!

[SocialButterfly]

I wrote " we are very impressed with DD1's report, we just hope it is a true reflection of her abilities" as we have been told all year she is behind and then miracurously (sp) her levels were where they needed to be for the end of Yr2.

We also wrote hoe much she enjoyed the year and also gave a mention to the volunteer lady who does 3 days a week and seems to get no thanks from the teacher but my dd loves her.

[skybluepearl]

DS's report was mostly positive with targets. I've been positive but had to add one comment about something i was concerned about. Not a new issue. We were very diplomatic - we have wonderful teachers and i appreciate all their hard work.

[onepieceofcremeegg]

I just put something like "thank you for dd's report. She has been very happy in year 2 and Ms X is a lovely teacher, very enthusiastic and caring"
(there is only a small space btw)

[teacherwith2kids]

I filled in the box with what I thought ... and then tore it up into little bits and approached the head by e-mail instead (I tried to arrange a meeting - but it's proved impossible to find a time that suits). That way I got to edit what I said as my first version was....blunt!