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Does anyone else have a dc at primary school who is abut if a social 'drifter' iykwim

(12 Posts)
peggotty Wed 22-Jun-11 12:37:00

dd is 6, coming to the end of year 1. I'm starting to realise that instead of just having 2 or 3 or even just 1 'special' friend, she just seems to drift around from group to group, playing with various children but never for any more than a couple of days at a time, if that. She us perfectly happy at school, doing well etc and has never mentioned any issues with friends but it's just niggling at me a little bit that when proper friendships start to sort of solidify over the next year or two dd is going to be left on the outside if every group. Am I just being silly. She's the only of my 2 dc in school do the whole school friendship thing is still new to me....

peggotty Wed 22-Jun-11 12:37:54

Ruddy phone! Title supposed to read ' a bit of a social drifter' obv!

MrsRhettButler Wed 22-Jun-11 12:39:30

Dd is in reception and just like this and I worry the same as you do so I'm no help whatsoever sorry!

Apparently she is popular and friendly with everyone and like your dd she doesn't seem to care or need a special friend.

FranSanDisco Wed 22-Jun-11 12:42:16

DD is now 10 yo and has always been like this. It has meant she has never relied on another child or group and happily plays with who she wants to. She makes friends easily inside and outside of school and is happy to do things alone if she wants to ; joins clubs, etc. The friendship groups constantly alter through primary so I wouldn't worry that your dd may miss out if she doesn't have a 'group' now.

MrsRhettButler Wed 22-Jun-11 12:42:23

She has been like this since nursery too, they said the same thing there.

Every time she walks into a classroom the kids all turn around and start calling her name and saying 'hi dd' and 'look dd's here' so she's clearly choosing to not have friends rather than being left out

MrsRhettButler Wed 22-Jun-11 12:43:45

Yeah, maybe it's a good thing op! Thanks fransandisco I'd never looked at it like that

veryoldmother Wed 22-Jun-11 12:45:22

My DS, nearly 6, YEar 1, is exactly like this. I have fretted and fretted about it. But I am slowly coming to then conclusion that that is who he is and in many ways it may be an advantage. I suspect I was like it (well my mother tells me I was!)

UniS Wed 22-Jun-11 19:51:50

DS is coming to end of Year R and he's a social drifter. Lots of kids he is happy to play with, lots are happy to play with him, but one one best-est buddy. We have had a few kids over to play but not the same kids lots of times.In the park he prefers to play footie with older boys and girls than hare about the playground with his peer group.He is good mates with 2 or 3 kids who live close and are in his class but more so out of school than in IYSWIM.

peggotty Wed 22-Jun-11 21:34:12

Thanks for the reassurance! SHe is perfectly happy with her own little arrangement of moving around from person to person, and does seem to get on well with most of the children in her class. I suppose it could be a good thing then!

crazynanna Wed 22-Jun-11 21:49:43

My girl is a 'one friend' girl who gets so emotionally attached. The brown stuff hit the fan when her best friend went off with someone else and has now moved on which is fine...but DD is isolated and alone sad

I wish she was a social butterfly <sigh>

t875 Wed 22-Jun-11 21:49:58

Hiya, my daughter was the same in infants school, and then when she went over the juniors two girls come over from another school and she has been best friends with them since ist year juniors, its the 3 of them and they have been together ever since and get on really well, she still blends in with others but its mainly them 3. Just thought i'd add this as also things can change quite quickly with friends too, although there is nothing wrong with her drifting around either smile

BusterGut Wed 22-Jun-11 22:33:32

Children like this are so independent. I think it's great to be able to make your own decisions about who to play with that day - AND be welcome in the game as well. Fantastic! I wish I'd been like that.

Think of all the boring girly best friend problems dd will avoid!

Good on her smile smile

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