Please reassure me it's Ok that neither I nor dd1 know anyone else who has been offered a place at the same primary school?

[Rose50]

As you can probably tell from the subject title, I'm a nervous mother whose pfb will start reception in September!

I live in a heavily populated area which is very popular with young families, so all the pre-schools and toddler groups are heavily over-subscribed and have long waiting lists. DD1 goes to pre-school in a different area, and we go to a toddler group in another area.

I have been offered a place at my 2nd choice school which I'm happy about, but the mums at pre-school were all gloating celebrating that they all got their 1st choice, ofsted outstanding school. All the children at my dd1's pre-school will go to the same primary. My dd is the only one who will go to a different school. Same at toddler group, all going to same school.

I wasn't too concerned when I first applied for schools as my dd1 is very socially confident and is happy to initiate play with other children she doesn't know. So I didn't think she'd have any problem with settling in to a new school without knowing anyone. I know I'm being silly as out of 60 children there is no way we will be the only ones who don't know anyone! I think I'm just starting to have pre-starting school jitters - for both of us!

I'm going to try to make an effort to find some other mums whose kids are also going to our school, but just wanted to have some reassurance from others who may have been in same situation that all was ok.

[pineappleupsidedownpudding]

Your dd will be fine.When my dd started reception, she is now y1, at least half the class didn't know any one else, and although my dd did know other children from pre-school, she soon made friends wiht the other children, and within a week you wouldn't have known who knew each other before.
Don't worry, they settle down very quickly.

[trifling]

Same happened to us and it was fine socially, school did an induction day in spring and we exchanged phone numbers then so some of the kids could meet up in the summer, worked really well.

[lexxity]

Same here. DS1 didn't know anyone, but he soon settled in and now has one heck of a social life! you'll both be fine.

[moomiemoo]

DD started at a different school to all her friends and was absolutely fine. We ended up moving house and actually moved her after a term of reception and she has settled into to a new school, in a new area with kids who already knew each other with no problems at all. She's made lots of friends.

Your DD will be fine - and you might get to meet some new people too.

[littleducks]

We moved and dd has been to two schools sincer starting reception, it has been ok. I think in many ways it is best to be 'new' or not no anybody in reception as there is alot of emphasis on getting to know each other and making friends, much more so than if you joined at a later point.

You may turn up and find you do know somebody on the first day as well, that can be surprising.

[Rosebud05]

A little tale that might cheer you up...

A friend of mine lives near a highly, highly desirable school - it's well known as the best in the borough, soaring house prices nearby etc. She lives about a centimetre outside the catchment so sent her son to a school that she liked in the next borough - nice feel but just out of special measures so not popular. She was surrounded by the gloating mums that you describe and was worried about her son not knowing anyone but he was just fine.

Fast forward to her son now in year 3... the highly desirable school has extended, the catchment extended to include the local council estate and people are leaving in droves. Her son's school has been on the up and up, has recently had a wonderful Ofsted and she'd never get in now. She's resisting the opportunity to gloat.

[tallulah]

None of my children knew anyone when they started primary. They were all fine.

DC5 starts in September. She goes to nursery near my work 18 miles away. All her friends are hoping to get into one of 3 schools near nursery. DD will be going to school where we live and will know nobody at all. I'm not worried about her, I'm sure she won't be the only one.

[toeragsnotriches]

Meh, it depends when that 'Outstanding' was offered. Things have got a lot lot tougher in inspection regime recently. Both 'Outstanding' schools round here have recently been down graded to 'Satisfactory' one with leave to improve. So don't listen to all those gloaters celebrators.

[toeragsnotriches]

And she'll be fine.

[crw1234]

Hi - my DS didn't know hardly anyone at his - and almost all of the other children had been at the nursery at the school and he was fine -make sure your DD goes on a visit but I am sure the school will organise that -
and the local snob desiable school in our area just got a rubish ofstead - confirming my view it was coasting on its reputation

[Rose50]

Many thanks to everyone for your reassuring posts. As I said in my original post I know I'm being irrational and both of us will be absolutely fine. I just had a "moment", as you sometimes do when you are the only one not being part of the "gang"

I know that friendship groups change so quickly at this young age.

littleducks - you're right I probably will see some familiar faces when she starts or at her induction.

Rosebud05 - your story did make me chuckle, it's funny how things can change so dramatically in a couple of years!

Thanks again

[PastSellByDate]

Rose50

I was in the same boat with my eldest. But there are all sorts of solutions to helping your DD settle in. Also remember your DD didn't know anybody at nursery - and I bet she has friends there now.

The obvious solution is to plan a birthday party when the time comes. My DD has an early birthday in the school year - but it was a fantastic way to meet other parents and break the ice with the kids. It also results in her being invited to other parties.

Even in reception there will be chances to join after school clubs and make friends through that. You may also want to consider after school child care - which helps children make friends with kids from their school, especially from other classes.

The first weeks at school will be hard and often very tiring for your DD. It's all new for you and your DD, but be proactive. Say hello to other parents and their children. If there is a reading morning or afternoon - take the morning off/ make the time to come in. Show your enthusiasm about starting school to your DD & try to hide any fears from her at this stage. If Mum is confident this is a great thing and will be fun - odds our your DD will look on all this positively too!

After a few weeks your DD will start to mention some names more frequently - or you'll discover one of her classmates lives just down the street. Either way - take advantage of inset days or bank holidays to arrange play dates.

Good Luck! :)