Mums of lively, young boys opinions please!

[clare40]

My DS will be starting school this coming September, at the grand old age of 4yrs and 2 weeks. He is very young, and very lively - loads of energy! Can concentrate, but has NO interest in sitting down to write/learn yet. He loves anything physical, but struggles holding a pen. So, we need to decide on his school. We have a number of options, mainly
because we have decided to pay for an independent school, so would you ho for.....

1. Boys only (great grounds and sports)
   
2. Little gentle prep - not good grounds, but focus on behaviour
   
3. Local enfant - class of 30
   

If anyone has any experience of a lively little youngster, please could you tell me about their school experience?

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

What were the vibes you got from looking around the schools?

We were sold on DS's school (which is co-educational but boy-heavy) because it was fairly clear that they were very used to active children who wanted to be into everything but guided them gently into thinking about others and about consequences of their actions (the head teacher seemed to sum it up with "sliding down the banisters is OK provided that you check there's no one at the bottom first").

One of DS's friends (very similar personality and I can't imagine his behaviour has been much "worse" than DS's) is at a fairly traditional boys' school and his parents have been called in to discuss his behaviour several times. And I know of one local gentle prep school with a great reputation for girls that has struggled to cope with some lively boys in the past.

Have you talked to the schools very specifically about their experience with lively summer-born boys? I think you can pick up a good sense of what they are like not only from what they say but also how they say it. You will be able to tell whether they are actively keen on the prospect of an active and lively boy who may take a little time to catch up with formal stuff.

[Ineedsomesleep]

Clare, don't worry too much about the pencil thing. My DS, now 6.5, showed no interest in holding a pencil before starting school and was fine once he got there. The peer pressure must have got to him in class .

Professor has some very good advice particularly asking the schools how they deal with lively summer born boys.

I would also ask them how they discipline and what they do if you DS is upset.

4 is so very young to be going fulltime isn't it.

[mrz]

I would look at 1&3 (you don't say what the outdoor provision is like for 3 or how learning is organised in either)

[Lydwatt]

I would go with the one that feels right...and keep in mind that he has a year to go before starting and a lot can happen developmentally in that year.

[Fiddledee]

Not sure why you are doubting about going for no.1 to be honest. I would go for a boy heavy co-ed or boy only also somewhere where there are lots of male teachers.

I think that a prep up to 13 is better than only up to 7 as lots of boys won't show their full potential at 7+ exams.

[qualitystreetrosescelebrations]

We went for (2) our son is now asking at 7 whether he can go to (1) - he realised quicker than us what was necessary for him.
[bad mum icon]

Therefore skip out our error and go for (1).

[Chrysanthemum5]

If you are going to an independent school is there an option for deferring entry? Just turned 4 seems so young for full time school.

DS is young for his year - we are in Scotland so as a late September birthday he's among the youngest in his year. he started in our local school which was good academically but had almost no outdoor space or options for lively active children. We moved him to a boy-heavy school that had lots of pe/games time plus a lot of space. He loves it so I would suggest option 1 sounds good.

[mumof2girls2boys]

go for no 1. My DS1 has just gone at 7 and is loving having all the boys around and the fact that they are all boys together is great. He struggled in a private school in the US where he had to sit and not fidget all day. At the new school here they run their energy off on the rugby field and he has learnt so much in the 8 weeks he has been there so far. DS2 can't wait to join him next year now, he is younger for the year group and really struggling in Yr 2 right now with lack of concentration and attention span of a goldfish!! To make it worse he sits on a table mainly with girls who in his words are "so quiet and good I just can't help getting in trouble for being a boy" :)

[healthyElfy]

My son would suit number 1, the fine motor skills and soncentration will come with time.

[hatsybatsy]

no 1 definitely. ds is 6 and is ok in a coed prep but does struggle with all the sitting down/carpet time.

if he didn't have a smaller sister, pretty sure would have wanted a boys school for him at this age. there are definitely 2-3 in his class who struggle with the mixed environment.

[ragged]

My gut feeling is 1. Probably not 2, but that said, sometimes boisterous lads calm down a lot in gentle environments. It really depends what they expect of him.

My hyper 6yo son's best mate is a sensible girl!