DS was fine for first 3 days, distraught this morning. What can I do?

[bintofbohemia]

He only turned 4 last month so he's one of the youngest in his class. He started reception on Wednesday and was fine and loved it. No dramas at all until this morning when he said he wanted to come home and I had to just leave him bawling with a classroom assistant. I could hear him screaming from the playground as I left.

I don't know why he's suddenly had a wobble as it's all been so positive? What can I do to help him? I didn't want to make too much of a fuss but at the same time I don't want him to feel like I don't care. And here was me thinking we had no worries with him settling in...

[Anenome]

Aah....it' SO hard! My DD was the worst her teacher had seen apparently (she was alo the youngest)....it took a whole year to adjust! She is 6 now and loves school so much that I finnd it hard to remember how she was.

He will probs be jut fine when you pick him up...but you can ask how he got on and if there is any particular aspect he finds hard. My DD found it a nightmare in Assembly..too loud and too many kids....I helped her to deal with it in various ways but just knowing what it is can also help teachers cope.

Ask your son....he probably misses you...

[hatsybatsy]

think this is quite normal? they like all the fuss of starting school and then when they realise it is every day, they start to wobble?

had some experience of this with dd at playschool - key thing was to be positive and upbeat on the way in - talking about everything apart from school. keep the tempo up as you take coat off/hang bag up etc, then straight into classroom and hand them over to teacher, quick kiss and leave.

sounds harsh, but i really found that a speedy approach meant she often didn't really have time to build herself up to crying and she'd then be talked into dressing up/colouring before she had a chance to think about it. even when she did cry, it only lasted a minute.

other thing is to greet them at the end of the day with a little treat - lollipop/a few sweets/stickers? always works for us!

[deepdarkwood]

I was talking to a reception teacher the other day who was saying how normal this is - in fact, she thinks settling kids the second week (when they're realising this is going to happen every day for ever....) is harder than settling them in the first week when everything is new and exciting.

Agree with others that just staying positive and matter of fact yourself is the best thing (much as it is hideously, painfully hard!)

Our teacher suggested that rather than having us ring into school, they would say that if our child wasn't settled after 15 mins or so, they would promise to call us (easier for them than fielding 101 worried mummy calls!) ... perhaps you could ask the teacher if that's viable?

[DippyMummy]

Try getting there REALLY early. Be the first to arrive if possible. I find this makes my DS feel special and (more importantly) in control of his situation. He gets a "prize" for being the first (ie. is allowed to help the teacher get out play equipment, etc), and I can sneak away unnoticed.. At first I felt a bit embarrassed about being so early, but it works for us and SOMEONE'S got to be first!

[bintofbohemia]

THank you all! I was wondering if it was just that the novelty had worn off/reality had started to bite. He was at playgroup up until September and it was mornings here, afternoons there and quite laid back. Perhaps the fact that it's all day, every day is just starting to kick in!

Thanks for the advice. WIll have a little chat on the way home with him but keep it upbeat. Seems so young to be introducing them to the daily grind, doesn't it?

[mejon]

DD was also 4 in August and is the youngest (and smallest!) in the school (tiny village one). This is week 3 I think. She started on a Thursday and was fine - went without a backward glance. Friday was OK too. By Monday however, I think realisation had set in and she was inconsolable, wanting me to stay, not go etc. She was pretty clingy all week. But she's got better the last few days and what seems to have worked for us is arriving that little bit later than before. Originally we'd be arriving for around 8.45 so there's 15 minutes or so before school begins when the children are left to play etc. Now we arrive by around 8.55 - most of her classmates are there already and some in the class already playing so I can just give her a quick kiss and say goodbye. It is so difficult to walk away when they're sobbing, and you have my sympathies but it does get better (really!).

[Anenome]

My DD was helped a lot by a lunch box which has a section on the front for a photo...I put a pic of me and her little sis in it...she was soo happy with it...I also put dab of my perfume on her jumper...she sniffs it if she misses me!