Bruise on forehead

[Anners1]

Hi all, just after some advice.

My ds currently in reception came out of school today with a red mark along the length of his eyebrow and above. I noticed it immediately as he came out of the door. I asked him how he got it and gave me story about falling on a bench during playtime and he was 'brave' and didn't say anything.

The thing I'm having trouble getting my head around is that although he didn't have his usual teacher this afternoon, it was another who he's had numerous times before, but she never noticed it. Even now 3.5 hours later it's still red and going darker, so will eventually become a bruise by tomorrow or day after.

I feel I need to say something to let them know, it has not happened at home and actually occurred whilst in their care and they didn't notice it as I'm concerned that whilst school can easily point the finger at a parent, who can the parent point the finger at? Previous experience with schools tell me they're only too ready to cover their backs. What would you do?

[colditz]

If he "was brave" and didn't cry or tell an adult, how can they be expected to know?

[Anners1]

..well as I said, I noticed it when he came out, so why didn't they?

[pozzling]

As long as the mark wasn't obscured by hair or anything then I do think someone should have noticed. I would have a chat with the teacher tomorrow, and at the same time remind your DS to tell someone if he does get hurt in school- even if he is feeling brave!

[scurryfunge]

I don't think teachers physically examine children, sounds like this didn't see it or it was dealt with at the time and no mark was visible.

[colditz]

because you're his mother, and looking at him and him alone. They are his teachers and looking at 29 others who are just as important.

[Anners1]

..no he doesn't have long hair, infact only trimmed it last week, so quite short.

[Anners1]

...yes I'm fully aware others are just as important. Another point, head knocks are usually sent home with a letter, to give info on worrying signs to look out for....none were given, so tells me it wasn't dealt with.

[scurryfunge]

If it wasn't dealt with, then it wasn't seen.

[Anners1]

Yes, scurryfunge, think that's obvious. So you'd just do what? Nothing?

[mrz]

Anners1 in his words he was a brave boy and didn't say anything so unless the teacher saw it happen how do you expect a letter about something she was unaware of?

Tell your son he must tell staff if he hurts himself don't expect them to notice every mark that appears obvious to you as a parent.

[colditz]

Well, what can you do? You've seen it, you know what to do now, and they don't have a time machine so they can't go back and make sure they witness it this time.

It's not desirable, I understand that, but what do you want to happen?

[activate]

your child didn't say anything so unless his arm is hanging off or spraying blood or he's weeping why do you think a teacher would notice?

you notice because you look at him not at all 30 of them standing in line

he had an accident, he'll have a million more and he's got a mark

it's not really a big dal is it?

[scurryfunge]

Children fall off benches.

[woahwoah]

Why do you want to 'point the finger' at the teacher? Are you saying it the accident was her fault?
If your child didn't tell anyone, she might easily not have noticed. When the children are all busy and active, and involved in what they are doing, the teacher is not likely to be looking at each individual closely, checking them for injuries - she will be helping them, teaching them, and dealing with more obvious problems.

[Belle03]

I think you need to go in & express your concern that this wasn't noticed-even if there was a supply teacher. Things can get missed but you're absolutely right, he is in their care & a head injury has the potential to be serious.

[compo]

You're overreacting

[Anners1]

Thanks for the understanding messages all.

As for others, thanks for your thoughts/input/whatever, I was after advice not an argument. I can see what other mums mean about this forum now.

Thanks for enlightening me.

[scurryfunge]

You asked for advice, ffs.

[colditz]

You have been given advice, you have been advised to chill out. It's good advice, you should take it.

Disagreeing does not = being obstructive or negative, it is simply the vocalisation of a disagreement with your point.

But whatever floats your boat. have fun complaining at the school tomorrow, I hope it gets you what you want.

[Anners1]

yup advice, not sarcasm, rebuffs, argumentative responses..... sorry but even if you disagree with my point, ever heard of tact?

[colditz]

Yes, I have heard of tact, and as this was a bumped head and not a broken spine, this was not a situation that required any. A point proven by the fact that despite a complete LACK of tact, you have still ignored everything anyone said that you hadn't already decided to do.

[purepurple]

Tact? Are they those little nail things?

[scurryfunge]

Sorry Anners, you came across as sarcastic and argumentative and I think you got the response in accordance with that.

[Anners1]

Where did I come across as that?

Maybe I should explain what I mean about 'pointing fingers'....a few years ago I came across a sign in a hospital a&e about if doctor's come across bruising etc on children that is suspicious, they will automatically contact the school the child attends. Now as I was there due to my other son being bullied and being checked out for a head injury, this angered me as this injury due to bullying took place at school, not at home, but school would never be investigated as it was ongoing and no-one was doing a thing anyway. As such, I feel the need to 'cover myself' as it seems schools are untouchable.

Colditz are you a mother? I would really doubt it by your tone. And I've ignored nothing...as you can see, I'm here.

[Anners1]

...this was the first thread for me as I've only just joined, but as soon as I've finisheded this, I'm asking to cancel. It wasn't the forum I thought it would be. I doubt half of you are mothers anyway.

Thanks pozzling, mrz and belle03 for your kind words.x