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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Suddenly hates school

3 replies

cleowasmycat · 19/11/2020 08:51

My dd12 has started to hate school. A number of issues, friendships groups keep changing, mean girls, feeling overwhelmed. Any advice on how I can help her get through it? I'm talking to her every morning and evening.

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cleowasmycat · 19/11/2020 08:58

*hates

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Milicentbystander72 · 19/11/2020 09:11

I know how horrible this is OP however my first advice to you would be that it's quite common for pre-teens/teens to have these issues.

I have a dd15 and a ds13. So far ds has been no trouble friendship wise but dd has struggled a bit socially and finding her place. For her, Y9 (13ish) was the absolute worst. Girls seem to have tight friendship groups that are always busting apart, changing, shifting etc. It can be overwhelming. My dd managed by not getting too involved. She managed to keep out of any dramas on SM and just keep going as best she could.

She's now Y11 and seems really settled and happy. Her friendship seem healthy and more solid and the group has expanded to included boys (as friends). They all just seem a bit calmer and more mature.

I would advise you ask her to speak to school. They will have pastoral support and will have seen these type of issues 100's of times before. They will have strategies to try that will help. Not to trivialise your dd's anxiety of course but she won't be alone in feeling like this.

Good luck.

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cleowasmycat · 19/11/2020 09:47

@Milicentbystander72

I know how horrible this is OP however my first advice to you would be that it's quite common for pre-teens/teens to have these issues.

I have a dd15 and a ds13. So far ds has been no trouble friendship wise but dd has struggled a bit socially and finding her place. For her, Y9 (13ish) was the absolute worst. Girls seem to have tight friendship groups that are always busting apart, changing, shifting etc. It can be overwhelming. My dd managed by not getting too involved. She managed to keep out of any dramas on SM and just keep going as best she could.

She's now Y11 and seems really settled and happy. Her friendship seem healthy and more solid and the group has expanded to included boys (as friends). They all just seem a bit calmer and more mature.

I would advise you ask her to speak to school. They will have pastoral support and will have seen these type of issues 100's of times before. They will have strategies to try that will help. Not to trivialise your dd's anxiety of course but she won't be alone in feeling like this.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for you reply. That's helped a lot.
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