Should I change my children’s schools?

(11 Posts)
Lifeisconfusing Tue 19-May-20 00:03:10

Hi just after some advice please! We moved house in December about 7.5 mile away. We have 3 children one in reception one in year 4 and my eldest who’s in year 7.

My two youngest go to the school 7.5 mile away and my eldest school is nearly 10 miles away (comprehensive) before lock down my eldest was getting on a public bus around 7.23am then swapping to a scholars bus at around 8am to get to school for 9am, then repeating the same routine on the ya home.

He seemed fine in the beginning but I ended up giving him a lift more often than not as I was nearly there anyway with my other 2 and wanted to make his life easier.

Since lockdown Iv had a change of heart I feel like I want my children to be in there new community instead of trailing all the way back to where we used to live.

Once Iv dropped them off I then have to drive back the other way past my house to go to work.

Iv looked at the other schools in my area and I have enquired but I’m worried sick about my eldest in particular what if I really do ruin his life ? While my intention is to make his life easier and for him to make long term friendships in the area in which he lives.

He’s nearly 13 so I’m not sure how to approach it and how do I know I’m making the right decision.
This is a hard enough age but I don’t want to leave it any longer if I’m going to do it I have to do it now.

P.s all the children have friends but I wouldn’t say their Particularly close to anyone and they can still stay in touch if necessary. What’s your thoughts confused

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Lifeisconfusing Tue 19-May-20 00:04:54

Just to add the new schools are literally a 5 minute walk.

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alphajuliet123 Tue 19-May-20 00:16:43

I'd move them asap. The benefit to being able to walk to school and back are enormous. My children can both get to school within 10-15 minutes.

I couldn't when I was a teen as I lived rurally, and it was horrible not being able to meet friends or do after school clubs because I had to be on the only bus to my village. Plus it sounds like your eldest is spending 10-15 hours a week travelling, which is mad when it could be a 5 minute walk each way.

He might be pissed off with you, but it's probably not a bad time for him to start the year in September, when most kids won't have seen each other anyway, and classes will be mixed up. You just have to make the effort to let him see his old mates too. This will lessen over time.

Your reception kid should settle in easily, and the year 4 will have two years to make friends she'll be at high school with.

Absolute no brainer. Let us know how it goes!

Lifeisconfusing Tue 19-May-20 01:06:10

@ alphajuliet123 thanks very much for your reply. Yes I thought it would be an ideal time too with the current situation. I will get all my ducks lined up before I approach my son with the idea. I always said I wouldn’t move him but I can’t imagine having to do all this travelling for years to come.

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MrsBobDylan Tue 19-May-20 08:57:29

I was in your situation a year ago and say wholeheartedly to move them. My yr 7 child was convinced he would never make friends (he has extreme social anxiety) but he has settled and has made some local friends who live a couple of mins walk from us.

I was driving the kids to school for a while and it was depressing for all of us. So irritating for parties too and have to make the same journey at weekends.

Getting on a bus at 7.23 every morning will take it's toll eventually.

helpmum2003 Tue 19-May-20 09:01:38

I would definitely move them OP for all the reasons others have said. I've moved my kids between schools for various (good) reasons and it's always been fine despite their natural reservations. Latterly we moved so they could walk to school and it's fab!

KindKylie Tue 19-May-20 09:49:59

I would definitely move them. Being Vale to walk to school and having v local friends is a huge gift, and so handy for evening performances or if a child forgets something or feels poorly. Similarly, I have had to ask local friends to grab mine if I've been ill or caught in traffic and have been able to do the same for others.

Most children will settle well and this natural break may make it easier anyway.

I think a huge downside of league tables etc is that people consider schools outside their local area - it massively increases rush hour traffic and reduces social/community opportunities.

Lifeisconfusing Wed 20-May-20 11:16:47

(Update) The school my children go to is a very affluent area only 6% free school meals to give you an idea.

The only school I can get both children in 60% have free school meals. Would I be crazy to move them when it’s such a difference.

P.s you may say what’s school meals got to do with it but wanted to give an example of the difference in family life diversity.

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PerfectPenquins Wed 20-May-20 11:21:11

At 13 I would honestly ask how they feel about it and be guided by that. It's a big change that dosnt always go well and it's harder for older kids to settle in and make new friends which can cause many difficulties. Of course it could work really well but it is a risk that I think he should get a say in.

Lifeisconfusing Wed 20-May-20 11:33:19

My 13 year old son spoke to me last night and he said he’s definitely not going to move school and he’s willing to travel without my help obviously I will take him sometimes.

It’s my other two age 9 and 5 that I’m seriously considering

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JamesNesbittsBrows Mon 22-Jun-20 15:43:54

What are the quality of the schools? Surely that's a huge factor in deciding.

If schools are equally good I would move younger ones and let older decide.

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