I'm reading a lot of threads on here about parents having difficulty with their 12 and 13 year old dcs
DD (12) is going through much of the usual teen stuff.
DD is doing alright at school but is always into minimal effort, my dh describes her as lazy but I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that too, is just a teenage thing. Thinking back, I didn't get involved with too much household stuff but that was mainly because my mother didn't want me to.
Anyhow, I would like to start giving dd an allowance (paid monthly, so that she can learn how to manage money), however, as I see it, she should do some chores around the house (she also has younger siblings) to earn it. Nothing major, unload dishwasher, lay the table, help me sort the washing (on a weekly basis). DD does two out of three of these things anyway (apart from sometimes, I end up unloading the dishwasher). But dd, is resisting the allowance (I think because she knows that I will hold it over her if she doesn't keep up with her chores). There are very few ways I can discipline her (she just laughs at me when I ask for her phone, because she is almost as tall as me now and knows that I don't, quite rightly, want to get into a tussle over it), so she is probably right in her assumption that I would use it as a discipline tool (but only in relation to chores not done and not general behaviour etc). Normally, I give dd about £100.00 for birthday and then again at Christmas, instead of a big present and I think she probably uses this. But increasingly, she is wanting to meet up with friends in town etc. and obviously wants a bit of money to spend (I normally give her a fiver to cover bus fare/food that kind of thing). I don't expect her to pay for any clothes etc. but it would be good for her to earn and then spend her money on luxury items, bits and pieces etc. Anyone else dealt with this kind of situation, I can't really see a way around it at present, I think I would have jumped at the chance at this sort of thing back in my teen years.
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Preteens
DD (Y8) and an allowance
10 replies
Lavenderdays · 04/03/2019 21:41
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