Mean girls(5 Posts)
Is bitchiness between girls just par of the course at age 12?? What can i do to stop it?? My dd has quite a few friends at school but as they are in sets ,forms , and after school clubs she has a couple of friends from each and they seem to all be so jealous of each other. My dd is quite highly strung as are these girls. They have all tried being friends together but it doesn't work as they all want to be in charge. She has one friend who is so lovely and calm and very studious but so shy. She keeps her head down and doesn't get involved with any of it but she doesn't have much about her hence why my dd prefers her other friends because they have fun together. But if one of them speaks to the other one or initatiates an afternoon at someone's house the other girls get so bitchy . My dd is just as bad if someone organises something without her she gets jealous. There was a massive fallout last night where 3 of them ganged up on another girl and were so nasty - although this girl is a real pain and so intense that her jealousy and neediness pushed them all over the edge. Why can't they all get along?? She doesn't seem to mind confrontation and always stands up for herself just like my mum - whereas I am much more placid and can't be doing with bitchy women I just ignore them but she isnt able to she has to bitch back!!
I think it is quite common in y6-8, as they are finding their place in the hierarchy. My DD2, y8, hates the drama and gets caught in the crossfire.
The only things I can think of are
- talk about what makes a good friend, and being kind, and how to compromise, and how you have different types of friends for different things
- keep them away from social media until the phase has finished as imo they are too immature to use it wisely and then things just get escalated. if you can't do this then at minimum heavily monitor.
- try reading 'Queen bees and Wannabes'
Girls can be so horrible to each other at this age. Friendship groups are changing all the time and there seems to always be a pecking order at school. I find that my Dd12 doesn't seem to bothered by it and just goes with the flow, whereas I seem to constantly be on edge and worrying that she is coping OK socially. I think it's meant to get better, if you get any good tips please pass them on xxx
Apparently it all started over a pen!! Trying to teach her to let the let the little things go because these little things escalate into big things!!
teentimestwo I have just ordered queen bees and wannabes. Reviews on Amazon are almost all 5 star
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