11 year old ds behaviour getting worse

[Bertie35]

My ds has always been a difficult child but as he's getting older and bigger I'm finding him harder to handle. He's always been stubborn and prone to tantrums but they seem to be becoming more frequent and going on for longer. He tries to control and manipulate me and if he's having a tantrum it can go on for hours it's exhausting. He's recently started high school and his dad moved out just under a year ago. I try to remain calm and be consistent and when I say no I mean it and don't back down so I don't know why he keeps on pushing and pushing. He's fine at school but wondering whether I should talk to them anyway?

[Chatty100]

I've just put on a very similar post about my 10 year old. I feel for you!! Our situations seems very similar!!!

[citychick]

Bertie
if it's any consolation , i have a 10yr old ds and he is putting us thru hell at the moment too.
like you are family has been thru a huge change this past year .
we moved abroad and he's not handling it at all well.
he's not a tantrum thrower but he is manipulative and continues to push us all yhe time.
he's just been suspended for stealing from the school mates.
so we've had to bite the bullet and make an apppontment with an ed psych. i know its the move , new school and deep insecurity that's causing the this but we've got to find a solution.
we are a very close family with good communication but he seems to need more help than maybe we are qualified to give.
anyway just wanted u to know that u are not alone .

[TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince]

I have one too.Read The Explosive Child. Normal sanctions don't work in these sort of kids, it's more about damage limitation and picking your battles.

I read this when dd was 8. She's 11 now. She was so so so difficult at home, yet delightful at school. She has very high anxiety levels and a lot of it is connected to this. But we only realised about the anxiety about a year ago, and looking back a lot of her behaviours were anxiety driven. It's a much more peaceful household now we understand her.

[Megabeth]

I'm glad it's not just my DD who does this at home whilst being fine at school.

[Aquamarine1029]

You need to get him into counseling before this situation gets completely out of control.