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Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteens

Quick Poll - do you let your 11 yo go to town on their own?

19 replies

FishTailPlait · 20/10/2016 07:30

With a group of friends obviously! We live near a smallish city & apparently 'everyone' is allowed to go there without parents at the weekend. Child in question is 11 and just started at secondary school.

DP & I are unsure and I would just like to know what others do.

Thanks

OP posts:

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OutDamnedWind · 20/10/2016 07:35

That was always the age to start going round here when I was younger. Started with mums sort of hovering a bit, sending you on to the next shop and trailing behind by about 5mins, then on to them also being in town but not together, then once we had proved ourselves sensible, chucked free with a sigh of relief

PikachuSayBoo · 20/10/2016 07:36

Yes.

atticusclaw2 · 20/10/2016 07:44

Not on your nelly.

Although I do know of some who do.

Adelie0404 · 20/10/2016 09:46

Yes at 11 with parent around annoying them..
Now at 12 going on 13 - drop them in town and collect them later!
My DD is very sensible.

Wafflenose · 20/10/2016 10:38

No, but she is only just 11 and still at primary school. I think we're a couple of years away from this yet, but we live quite rurally.

Hoppinggreen · 20/10/2016 10:40

Nope
I have taken her and a couple of friends to a local shopping centre and let them loose ( with phone) for a few hours while I shop in peace though

dancemom · 20/10/2016 10:44

Yes but only if an adult is in the town/city also, not necessarily with them but around in case of emergency.

mrsm43s · 21/10/2016 22:52

Yes, but small town, not a city. And only about 20 min walk/5 minute drive from home. Various rules re phone (with tracker) on and charged, text on arrival and leaving etc.

Started letting in the summer between Yr 6 & Yr 7.

RaingodswithZippos · 21/10/2016 22:57

Maybe it's different with a boy. I was 11 when I went through this rite of passage, living in a city. I had to get two buses to school though so I was already pretty independent. My DS showed little interest in meeting his friends in town until he was 15, although he would go to the sports centre on his own from 10 or 11 to meet his friends, that was quite local though (about a mile away).

For his 16th birthday he asked for train tickets to go to London for the day with a friend - it's about 90 miles from where we live but I think he's sensible enough.

Clayhead · 21/10/2016 23:04

Yes, with both dc.

They were both walking to school by then anyway so the walk to town didn't seem much different.

Don't think there were many that didn't tbh.

atticusclaw2 · 22/10/2016 09:07

Out of Ds's class I only know of 3 who do. But they go to school in a city (although many live outside of the city). Having said that, my BF let her DD go at the end of Year 7 with a group of friends.

11 is still very young. It not the same as walking to school where if they are 10 minutes late people would be starting to raise the alarm.

altik · 22/10/2016 11:30

Yes, but our local shopping centre is a regional market town with only 23,000 people living there. I haven't let her go shopping in the big towns / cities with over 100,000 people living there!

At first, I dropped off and did my own shopping thing whilst they shopped and then met up later. She's now year 8, so I would now drop off and collect later, but wouldn't hang about waiting for her.

Year 7 is when they start going out with friends ime - whether shopping in town, or cinema or swimming etc...

FishTailPlait · 22/10/2016 20:15

Thank you for all your responses. Still mulling it over. We are probably going have one of us drop off/ pick up & stay in town whilst she is there.

Just feel some of her friends parents have quite differing approaches & she's not old enough to understand that yet. None of them are that street smart imo & I work with some of the more challenging young people in the city so probably have a skewed overprotective view!

OP posts:

PikachuSayBoo · 22/10/2016 20:20

I think if you have set areas in town where they're allowed, so they stay in the main shopping streets then they will be alright if it's crowded places. I told dd she wasn't allowed past the bottom of the pedestrianised area and then not past a certain shop in the other end of town. She had a mobile so could call if she needed to, she never did!

Balletgirlmum · 22/10/2016 20:22

Yes, but although it's a city it's more like a town really.

eightytwenty · 22/10/2016 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iseenodust · 22/10/2016 20:27

No but DS has never asked to be allowed to do so yet.

daisypond · 22/10/2016 20:32

Yes, definitely as it's with a group of friends. We live in London, so that means going right into the centre, to Oxford Street or to Westfields, on their own. (Involves travelling by Tube, but they have to do that for school anyway.) Make sure they don't take too much money. One of my DC had her purse nicked the first time she went out shopping. She wasn't as street smart as she thought she was (and I thought she was, tbh) and it's easy to get distracted and not pay attention when you're with friends. She's careless at the best of times. She would have been less likely to get stolen from if she'd been on her own.

JustDanceAddict · 24/10/2016 14:22

Live in London - age 13 for going into the West End with friends.
Local shops/shopping centre from age 11/first year secondary.

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