Hi my DD is 10 (11 this year) and in Y5, going into Y6.
DD, although old in her year, has not started puberty yet unlike a lot of the other girls. (I was a late starter). In some ways she is mature but in other ways immature. She is very much into her toys, she has younger siblings and is very happy playing games with them. She has a lot of soft toys and mentioned recently that the children in her class say that they don't have teddies anymore and she was worried she would have to get rid of hers.
She is kind and thoughtful, she reads a lot of books, she plays in the local youth orchestra, she likes computer games like Minecraft and SIMS, she listens to pop music. She does well at school. She's not very sporty, a lot of the other children do football or gymnastics but she isn't really into either of those. She does do a street dance club.
One of her favourite activities is den building and she is very happy playing outside or at the park inventing stories. I feel there is plenty of time to grow up, but I do worry that other children see her as immature. It was 'toy day' at school and DD had taken toys in and was showing them to a friend who said 'I don't really do toys'. I think there has definitely been a shift in the children of her age that they are aware of the image they are projecting and want to look mature, whereas I don't think DD is that bothered about how she comes across.
We have a good relationship and she will talk to me about her feelings. She has mentioned to me that she isn't one of the 'popular kids' and is worried she doesn't have many friends. In the end she said that she wasn't bothered because there are downsides to being the popular kid, like people wanting to be with you all the time. She has one good friend but if she can't find anyone to play with at playtime she'll sit and read a book. She probably comes across as a little bit geeky!
She says a lot of the other children in her class have mobile phones, which I know is true because I have seen them in the playground before school, sitting round with their phones out on the benches. I said that she could have a mobile when she starts secondary but now I am starting to feel bad about that! (She has an Ipod and her own tablet, so is not exactly deprived!)
She says she is worried about growing up, and doesn't want to go to secondary school or be a teenager. She is in that awkward age of not knowing if she wants to be a child or grow up. I do get frustrated with her sometimes as she still relies on me to do things for her like her packed lunch / stuff for school / suitcase for holidays etc which I know she is quite capable of doing, but she is resistant, which I think is partly due to not wanting to grow up.
I am not bothered about her being popular, I don't want her to feel like she has to pretend to be something she isn't, but I do want her to have friends and be happy! Any words of wisdom?
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10 year old DD - immature or normal?
11 replies
flupcake · 20/07/2016 14:24
OP posts:
coldcanary ·
20/07/2016 14:41
You could be describing my daughter! Same age, same interests, same worries.
What we're doing is trying to encourage more independence and giving her more responsibilities during the holidays. We've pretty much given up on holding out the mobile phone till high school though, it'll probably be for her 11th birthday later this year soft 
They sound fine to me, it's a weird age!
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