Peer pressure

[Justme1978]

My 10yr old in yr6 has lately been begging me to let her go into town (about 10-15min walk) with her friends because apparently they are all allowed, her friends all have mobile phones which I've told her she can have one when she goes secondary school (I don't see why she would need one now as she sees her friends everyday in school) ill let her have one for safety/emergency reasons when she goes secondary school but now she wants to go into town with her friends & personally I think she's too young & her dad is dead against it, does anyone else feel pressure? They make you feel like a bad parent for making them feel "left out"! We let her go on school trips away & next year we have allowed her to go italy for skiing so it's not like we are being mean!! How do you feel about your 10 yr old daughter going out & about with friends???

[bananasandchocolate]

My daughter was allowed at 10, but many of her friends were not. Do not feel pressured into anything, it is different for everyone. If you do not feel that you are ready then do not let her yet, there is no hurry, and plenty of time for that when she is older.

[Soveryupset]

I agree with bananasandchocolate in that you should follow your own gut feeling as a parent. How mature is your daugther? What are her friends like? What's the town centre like? I wouldn't care what the others let them do as we are all different - and there will be different reasoning.

If it is reassuring in any way, none of my nearly 10 year old friends go out into town on their own at this age, so if you say no you are definitely not on your own in a wider sense!!

[Soveryupset]

I meant 10 year old daugther's friends!!!

[Heyho111]

They need to learn independance. This helps with intricate social development, self help skills, problem solving and risk taking as an adult. These skills for the first time are not as well developed in this generation as in others.

[TeenAndTween]

I think you need to consider:

• what does she do on her own at the moment? How much of a step up would this be?
• is 'town' a large village or a small city?

My y5 can now walk to local shop alone.
Next step will be library which is half way to town (a large village really)
Then to town.

She doesn't have a mobile. I may loan her an old one for emergencies when she starts going to the library. The ability to go to the library will trigger use of the mobile, not the other way around.

[figgieroll]

It depends on lots of things - how safe they are crossing roads, how rough your local town is, how responsible the other children/your child is.

Mine started walking into a very nice town aged 11. Took a brick mobile phone.