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Getting dd 10/11 to school when refusing

(12 Posts)
Takesalongtime Thu 27-Mar-14 10:26:12

Just exactly how do you do it??? I'm at my wits end, house full of kids in am so don't want things to be too heated. This morning ended up leaving her home & then going back to get her. She's refusing to get dressed & ready- goes back to bed.
She's not like ds 5 who I can pick up & carry if need be. Any ideas??

LastingLight Thu 27-Mar-14 15:47:11

Why is she refusing to go to school?

mercibucket Thu 27-Mar-14 15:58:14

why doesnt she want to go? homeschool?

Takesalongtime Thu 27-Mar-14 17:57:59

She complains feeling unwell. Been to docs for blood tests etc to try & see if a problem. But the times I've kept her off she is then fine. But now she has started to become very angry & violent. Been into school but they can't see anything at school going on. Her school are very geared towards SATS but usually she is fine with tests etc. I just can't carry on dealing with it every day

Takesalongtime Thu 27-Mar-14 17:58:38

Home schooling not an option as need to work

HolidayCriminal Thu 27-Mar-14 18:06:22

Are you sure there's no emotional/social/people problems? I would probe very hard for those.
You apply whatever leverage you have. Wifi, money, social life, food, whatever it takes. Sympathies. flowers

mercibucket Thu 27-Mar-14 20:26:38

prob something going on at school. get to the bottom of that. maybe just sats pressure but could be bullying for example.

Takesalongtime Thu 27-Mar-14 21:40:07

Really don't think bullying- she's more than capable of holding her own& is often a madam! Ive also chatted to her about it & she's sure everyone fine. I just need some techniques to
Be able to get her into school

mercibucket Thu 27-Mar-14 22:04:57

children can be different with peers, or maybe she is too bossy with them? what does she say about not feeling well?

Takesalongtime Thu 27-Mar-14 22:08:49

I can see that there is a poss of her being too bossy. She's always got stomach ache & headache. Yet last night we were out for dinner & surprisingly fine.
She's been in late every day this wk to school but can't carry on. But physically I can't force her. She has lost awful lot of privileges but doesn't seem to make much didf

MostWicked Thu 27-Mar-14 22:19:57

Physical symptoms can manifest themselves from worry, stress, anxiety etc. She could well be sick from worry. Even if the physical symptoms are made up, there is a reason why she is school refusing and you will never get her into school reliably, unless you get to that problem. All the sanctions in the world, are not worse than the issue that is causing her to refuse. That is why they don't work.
I suspect SATS, but it could be all sorts of things. Even kids who are on track to do well in tests, can have a panic that they will not meet the expectations they have of themselves.

missymayhemsmum Sun 30-Mar-14 22:17:51

If you think it's SATS pressure, could you offer her option of taking SATS week off if she goes until then?

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