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How to talk book

(3 Posts)
MissStrawberry Sat 31-Aug-13 20:39:25

I have this book and am really struggling with reading it and I can't get into it and therefore are struggling to believe it will help. I find there is so much content I just can't take it all in.

I know it is a highly recommended book but can someone give a summary for the best bits please? I know that is really cheeky but I am so anxious to sort our family out and would really appreciate it so much.

baskingseals Mon 02-Sep-13 08:02:10

Hi miss strawberry, I have just posted on your other thread.
I have read this book and found it helpful. Could I just say, don't read it all at once, read a chapter or half a chapter, live with that for a bit, then go back for more.

I found the most useful tip I got was the power of listening, without feeling that you have to fix anything.

So when they are bickering 'he said' 'she said' 'no I didn't' repeat ad nauseum, your job is not to fix them but to listen calmly to both sides of the story. You could then say something like 'well you both sound annoyed with each other, which is fine, but it is NOT okay to hurt each other's feelings however cross you may feel'.

Another thing I useful was how to validate their feelings.

Mum I hate Megan, she just annoys me so much, I don't want to play with her any more

My automatic response to anything negative was to reassure, make it all better eg. Oh Megan's not that bad, perhaps play another game with her etc etc.

But if you say Oh no, that sounds difficult for you, how are you going to deal with her tomorrow etc etc

It is much more helpful.

There is lots of good stuff in there, take your time and read it slowly.

MissStrawberry Mon 02-Sep-13 09:46:19

I will do, thank you. DS1 is back at school on Wed so I will have more time and will make it a priority.

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