9 year old says she wants to hurt herself ...

[turningitaround]

My lovely DD1, 9.5, physically v. ahead of class mates, has been having what I guess are hormonal surges every month or so for a few months. A day of crying, not knowing what is wrong, feeling awful, and then it passes. Yesterday, after crying for about an hour in car (bad timing, long journey back from the GPs), she told me she wanted to hurt herself as a distraction from the way she was feeling. We talked about healthy (sport), safe (tv, a good book, going into the garden for a shout), and unhealthy (self-harm etc. but I only alluded to this) ways of dealing with the way she was feeling and ended up having a cuddle on sofa infront of horrible histories, but I'm really in shock.

She's usually very calm and, I guess, 'together', and she has quite good insight into her mood swings but she's so young and do far ahead of her friends that I don't think she can really talk to them about all this. How can I help her?

[frazzledbutcalm]

What about a book explaining about changes? There's been a discussion on another thread about books. I got one for my dd to deal with periods, but it covers all sorts including moods/emotions, body changes, hair, skin, exercise, self esteem (I think). Mine is called The Care and Keeping of You, it's £5.84 from Amazon. It's a really good combination of words they can understand, to the point in a lovely positive helpful way.

[turningitaround]

Excellent idea - thanks. Any more?

[Lwilliams101]

are you sure it is just about the hormones and changes someone might be happening at school maybe...

[turningitaround]

Don't think its school.

She's in a really small class (17, with 7 girls) and there are beginning to be some issues between the girls - cliques/exclusion etc, but she's really lucky in that she seems to move between the groups quite easily. I do think though that she's uncomfortable with all her physical changes; she's the oldest, tallest girl and way ahead of the others physically, which makes her pretty selfconscious.

[frazzledbutcalm]

Please try the book, it really is lovely. x