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change nursery? / how to encourage social skills

(3 Posts)
duplofrenzy Wed 29-Jan-14 11:39:35

3 1/2 year old DS doesn't want to go to nursery. It is a school nursery. Difficult first few weeks when started last term but by the end of term loved it. This term is a different story. He says nursery makes him sad and he doesn't want to go. Drop offs are difficult.

Nursery teacher says he is fine when he is there. But she also said today that he wants to play with the adults but not really playing with the other children. They try to start a game and then get other children to play and leave him with them.

He plays really well at home with his 5 year old brother, lots of imaginative play together. But we don't really meet up with many other children outside nursery and when we do he seems to play alongside them rather than with them mostly.

Also won't say hello to nursery teacher in the morning, which she says happens during the day too. But he does join in with the sit down singing/ discussions. Also one child always seeks him out in the morning when I drop off but he doesn't say hello.
He is summer born, so one of the younger ones in the year group.

What to do.....?!

Anyone got any suggestions ?
How do I help him to play with the other children?
Do I take him out of nursery?

He doesn't have to be there as I am not working at the moment, so could stay with me. I have enquired about places at a nursery with higher staffing ratio and more nurturing environment but no spaces at present as short staffed but could look at getting him on waiting list.
We have pretty much decided to delay school entry for a term or 2 as don't think he will be ready for a class of 50-60 and full days, so maybe he could go to the other nursery for a term or 2 in september even if no place until then (though that is very unusual where we are (not england) so they may not take him)

duplofrenzy Fri 31-Jan-14 13:08:55


starsandmoonandback Sun 09-Feb-14 16:40:37

Sorry I've not got much advice for you, but am interested in any advice you do get. We've recently chatted with our DS' nursery about the fact he seems to want to play with others, but also isn't sure quite how to communicate his needs/wants. He does a bit of pushing which they don't like. They are doing small group work with him every week to try and model the right language etc. I'm so worried now if course, feeling like he hang got any 'friends' there. He is happy enough there and refers to adults and kids by their names. He also never says hello to the adults when they say hello to him! I think all we can do is hope the nursery's input to develop them more in this social/emotional skills area is enough to help them progress. They are probably just a bit later developing here.

Hope someone pops on with some suggestions for you hun. You're not alone tho,sometimes it's nice to know that!!

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