Coping with NICU

[chrissiexxx]

Hi All, my daughter was born on 23rd December at only 22weeks. At 1lb1oz she's a little fighter. I'm so very scared for my little girl and everything she is up against. Finding it had to sit and watch her and struggle with leaving her. To those who also had premature baby, how did you cope?

I'll do anything to help her but feel like it's all out of my control x

[Smurf123]

Didn't want to read and run.. Our ds wasn't that prem but he was in nicu.
You do what you need to do.. What works for you. For me I found it really hard to leave ds. I wanted to stay all the time even though being there was hard. Take photos of your dd. Ask the drs or nurses if you have any questions even if they sound silly to you. They were always happy to explain things when asked. My mum used to ask the questions that I couldn't even think to ask..
Dh found it really hard to be in nicu so he busied himself making things ready at home. He would come in every day to see ds but preferred phoning to check how he was and getting photos. The constant beeping etc had him really on edge and while he wanted to be there he felt he had to be doing something. We couldn't hold ds or lift him out of incubator due to infection.
We were given two little knitted hearts from tiny life and was told to put one in with ds and keep one on me so he got used to the smell. Some others in nicu put blankets over the top of the incubator to personalise it or a little outfit even if they couldn't wear it yet.
Have you got a name for your lovely dd?
fingers crossed for a smooth nicu journey.

[Andsbk]

My daughter she was born at 29 weeks. She was in hospital for 5 weeks.... Was so hard to see her there and I was having that feeling that no one would ever understand me. But guess what?! She is a big girl now, she's absolutely gorgeous and perfect. She is 3 and a half years old and we almost forgot about that time.... I pray for you. Be strong and talk to her so she knows you there for her

[chrissiexxx]

Thank you for the replies. Think we're starting to get use to being in there now, although all the beeps still scare me. My other half couldn't handle it at first also but she's been stable for few days so that's helped him feel comfortable in the room and started talking and stroking her, something he said he'll never do.

They give us a knitted patch, sounds similar idea to the heart. They're truly amazing. Our little girl is called Evie, means 'life'. X

[HelpIHaveNothingToWear]

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, and what a beautiful name. I spent 3 months in NICU with my little one a few years ago, it was so hard (baby all fine now!!!). The best advice I was given was to take it one day at a time. Don’t think too much about when you might be going home as every NICU journey is different. Eat, sleep and drink when you can. Look after yourself and be kind to eachother. Good luck and hang in there xxx

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Chrissie - hope all ok & congratulations on your little girl. Premies are tough little things.

Mine was a lot less prem but it helped me to give in to a big cry when I left the unit each day to go home to sleep.

It can be really difficult with milk with micro premies but if you are able to express even a few drops of milk, i found it helped me to do that as i felt I was giving her something important that no one else could give.

[billybagpuss]

We were in for 4 weeks, it is scary and you assume it will never happen to you. Concentrate on getting through the next test or procedure then you can focus on one thing at a time rather than be overwhelmed by everything.

Also and I know it’s hard, you have built in babysitters, use them and have some time away, you need the space. I remember going to the cinema to see evita and felt so much better afterwards.

[chrissiexxx]

Thank you all so much for the replies and support. 12days in now and we're so grateful to be in such an amazing hospital and seeing so many fighting to keep her going. Finding milk is the only thing I can help with as nurse told me it's creating her golden medicine and it's good way for me to remember to look after myself. We also know and hope we'll be there for months while she grows so we're now starting to get a balance of a day sat in hospital but home at night to have chill time, struggling to tune out and not to worry but I guess that's just being a mum.

[Smurf123]

Evie is a gorgeous name. 🙂I hope she is doing well and thrives for you all.
It's good you are beginning to find a rhythm that works for you.
Take care 😊

[LittleMissLotsToLearn]

Congratulations on your lovely little one - we had our baby early too and about 5-6 weeks in SCBU. He’s been home since just before Christmas. It sounds like you’re already doing really well if you’re both able to stroke and touch her and if you’re able to get some milk. The unit we were in (in the North West) had a group called NeoMates on Facebook who met in the unit once a week for coffee so parents could bond and invited ‘graduates’ back to answer questions and so on-is there anything like that?
We found that reading to our little one helped us (especially my partner) and choosing some little bits for him (hat, teddy, eventually some clothes) helped us to feel more connected to him. Skin to skin was huge for me too and eye contact once he was bigger (in fact it was a bit overwhelming the first time he seemed to ‘see’ me).
We tried hard to set our own routine which included arrival times, feeding him through his tube, a cuddle, a break for a walk/coffee together, then back to repeat for the afternoon and then home for late dinner. We took comfort from the fact that everyone in the unit seemed to have a different routine and that the babies sleep loads so taking a book/phone or sleeping really was acceptable.
Personally, and if I’m really really honest, I felt I had a bond with our baby but not the deep seated parental bond until he was home with us, but I think that’s a natural thing when they aren’t dependent on you and you go home. I think I was also protecting myself in case the worst happened. Now, he’s little but feels perfect. You’ll get there xxxxxxxxx

[UpsAndDowns13]

I just wanted to wish you all the luck and strength in the world. I had a 28 weeker and it was a rollercoaster 10 weeks in hospital, but that's nowhere near as early as your little Evie. Just take it a day at a time. There are so many ups and downs, it's emotionally and physically exhausting. Look after yourself and don't be afraid to cry and ask questions. Lots of love to you all x

[Sleepycat91]

Both of mine were NICU babies and my DD came home just before xmas from a major bowel op she had at a week old. Nicu is hard, expressing is hard, leaving your baby in the care of a stranger is hard. Your dealing with alot, aswell as having just given birth and being a hormonal mess and i dont think anyone whose not been in a similar situation can understand. Take a bag of snacks in, a book, take regular breaks. Dont feel guilty about not being there all day or not as long. Leave a bit earlier one day a week and go for food with your other half. Congratulations on your baby girl x

[teapotter]

Congratulations! I had a 25 weeker and remember it all so clearly. I survived by living in a bubble. Look after yourself, lots of dark chocolate chips and healthy treats in a snack bag. Chat to other parents and go for lunch with them in the canteen. I found the hospital chapel very calming and went to pray for my baby when it all got too much. You’ve got a long journey ahead so it’s good to accept any offers of help- I had one friend who dealt as a gate keeper so if anyone asked about helping or visiting she would sort it out and I only had to talk to her, so I could save head space for the baby. It will get easier- I and my new friends felt a bit sad to leave as it became a second home.