Pregnant and unsure what to do...

[Sm12783]

I recently discovered that I was pregnant (approx 5 weeks). Last year I suffered a missed miscarriage and I've been scared of becoming pregnant since. I was supposed to get the implant fitted last month but my DH put me off. My DH wants to keep the baby but I don't know what to do. I have a consultation with Marie Stopes tomorrow. We already have 2 DDs and I really don't think I want another.

[6onTheHappyFarm]

It comes across from your message a bit like you wanted a 3rd child, but after the miscarriage you're scared of the pregnancy?

If that is the case it's totally understandable. I had a MMC in March and found it really traumatic. I got pregnant again, and now my 12 wk scan appointment is in a few hours time 😬, and it's a rollercoaster of emotions.

[6onTheHappyFarm]

Don't make any knee-jerk decisions out of fear.x

[6onTheHappyFarm]

Sorry if those posts came across as a bit all over the place.

I just know that if this scan doesn't go ok today I will not be trying again. I couldn't go through that again.

Is that how you're feeling?

I'm just wondering if you genuinely don't want another child or if it's more that you don't want to open yourself up to getting attached to the baby and all the excitement and then the risk of all that hurt again if things go wrong?

What do you think? I don't want to put words in your mouth (so to speak), just trying to understand .

[ladybirdsarelovely33]

How did you feel when you were pregnant last year before you lost your baby?

[Sm12783]

I was so excited before we lost the baby but I decided after that I didn't want to try again. We are in a different situation now. Both myself and DH are self employed and there's no way I can afford the time off etc that it would need.

[Sm12783]

I hope your scan goes ok! I think I am scared to get too attached to it but my first thought when I saw the positive result was to terminate the pregnancy. I just think it's the best thing to do.

[ladybirdsarelovely33]

What does your dh think about your pregnancy?
It does sound like the trauma of the miscarriage has effected you, understandably a lot.

[6onTheHappyFarm]

The scan went very well- thank you!

I think you need to sit down with your DH and talk about how you would manage a baby. It's in 8 months time, things might have changed by then. Maternity leave doesn't have to be 6/9/12 months, one of my colleagues is self employed and only took 12 wks, my beauitican who owns and runs her own salon only took 4.

5 weeks is early, I would take some time to get used to the idea.

[Ilovesuperman]

You have support here for which ever descision you think is best for you and your family X thinking of you X