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This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

MNHQ have commented on this thread

This topic is for sharing experiences of pregnancy choices; to debate the ethics of termination, visit our Politics or Chat forums.

MNHQ have commented on this thread

Pregnancy choices

Shit. Am pregnant.

17 replies

heavenisaplaceinperth · 15/07/2016 07:13

There is no way I can carry on with it. Please tell me about your experiences with mifepristone.

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PotteringAlong · 15/07/2016 07:20

I have no experience but have reported your post to ask mnhq to move it to pregnancy choices where you might get someone with a better idea to answer your question

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 15/07/2016 07:52

I'm sorry, I couldn't find an appropriate section for it and didn't want to put it in Conception or Antenatal anything . Thanks. I'll have a look there.

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DawnMumsnet · 15/07/2016 08:12

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Pregnancy Choices topic now. Hope you get some advice and support there, OP.

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 15/07/2016 08:26

Thanks, Dawn.

I am also worried DP will consider this my fault, though he will be supportive. It is my fault, really, as I said it would be fine to have unprotected sex. It was right at the very end of my cycle and I'd already been having period pains for the best part of a week - was totally convincedt it was imminent. What a stupid idiot

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missybct · 15/07/2016 08:36

How far gone are you OP?

Experiences with the pill side of things vary. I'm guessing you're early on in pregnancy in which case it shouldn't be too complicated but it really does depend. Do you have a particular concern about taking the pill?

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 15/07/2016 09:02

Somewhere between 4 and 8 weeks - just did a cheapo test this morning but will get a digital one at lunchtime that will hopefully tell me more exactly. I just phoned the clinic, though, and the first appointment they have is 26 July, when I could be 10wks pg! It seems more complicated taking the pill that far along?

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missybct · 15/07/2016 09:58

It depends OP - if you're as early as weeks the first appointment will bring you up to around 6-7 so the pill procedure should be reasonably straight forward. Just make sure you've made provisions for travel and I would suggest taking the day and day after off.

If you're 10 weeks or more by time of procedure I would probably elect to have a surgical termination. I think you can take the pill up to 10 weeks (could be more/less please don't quote me) but the further along you are, the more painful I believe the pill would be.

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missybct · 15/07/2016 10:04

Sorry spelling - if you're as early as 5 weeks.

Also the clinic will scan you, but I think a digi test right now is a good shout. Not sure if you've experienced pregnancy before but Clear Blue will give you a read out from when you conceived not the usual calculations that clinicians use of working out from your last monthly period. So you may get a reading of 3+ weeks pregnant which essentially means you're 5+ weeks pregnant or thereabout.

Tbh if you think you may be further along (8 weeks) those digi tests won't be able to help you, but they can rule out the possibility of you being 3-4 and 4-5 weeks pregnant (clear blue would read 1-2 weeks and 2-3 weeks respectively).

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 15/07/2016 10:13

Thanks, Missy, that's really helpful. I've got 3 DC already but have never used one of those timing tests before. Cheapo ones were fine as I was just happy to have it confirmed that I was pg and wasn't bothered how far along I was. Different story this time . My youngest is nearly 7 and adding a new baby into the mix would be an absolute bombshell.

Will get Clear blue at lunchtime, thanks.

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missybct · 15/07/2016 10:28

You're welcome. I hope everything works out for you - do come back if you have questions about how the process works or just want to vent/hammer out your thoughts

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IceAndASliceWithSoda · 16/07/2016 12:50

Ive just had a medical abortion (well on June 23rd I took the final tablets). I was 8 weeks pregnant as dated from my last period. I didn't tell the father of the child so took my best friend with me. At the first appointment I had blood tests, was asked if this is 100% my choice and not through the influence of anybody else, signed all the paperwork and had a scan. The nurse also listened to the heartbeat but from what I gather this is not standard practise and was just because she wanted to be sure on how far pregnant I was as The product of conception measured large for the dates. I then swallowed two tablets. I was told to return 48 hours later to have more tablets inserted vaginally.

I felt fine afterwards and went into work the next day.
On the day of the final tablets I was asked whether I would like the nurse to insert the tablets or whether I would like to do it myself, I said I would prefer the nurse to do it. The nurse placed 4 tablets in my vagina and I left to go home (my friend drove). Within 30 minutes I could feel strong pains. I got home and got into bed, I was bleeding everywhere (I don't mean to scare you!) and lost clots of blood but this is normal. The pains got worse and worse until I had a knowing (can't describe it, I just knew something was going to come out of me) and the foetal sac came out. It was in my underwear and my friend wrapped it in tissue then flushed it away. The pain eased up after that and the bleeding lightened. I bled for 9 more days (much lighted though- I was back at work after 2 days). I feel absolutely fine now, for the first couple of weeks I was easily exhausted but now I'm like my normal self and have absolutely no regrets, I would do it again. Good luck and hugs

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 16/07/2016 15:18

Thank you, Iceandaslice. The bleeding does sound pretty gruesome but I guess that's just par for the course . I would be really freaking out if it had to be a surgical termination, though - have never had an operation before.

I did the Clearblue test this morning and it said 3+ weeks since conception, which I knew tbh - I can narrow it down to a couple of days - but good to have confirmed. I'm going to be phoning the clinic every day this week in case there are any cancellations as I just want to get it all over and done with. Am really hating the wait. I feel sad and sorry that I won't be giving this little one a chance at life, but I know it's the right decision.

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 16/07/2016 15:21

Oh, and I told DP last night and although he was completely shocked, he reacted well and was reassuring. We've left it open - I wasn't looking to railroad him into an opinion there and then - and will discuss again tonight after the DC in bed.

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 16/07/2016 15:29

Also, Iceandaslice, did you not take painkillers when the second lot of tablets were inserted? Or were the strong pains despite painkillers? And how do you know when it's just normal heavy bleeding or actual haemorrhaging?

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 17/07/2016 12:47

DP is leaning towards keeping it. He can't get his head round terminating a life and is saying it's not the baby's fault it's been conceived (obviously, I agree with that!). He's not the one who will get massive again, give birth aged 44, breastfeed again for months on end (I never loved it, though I just got on with it and did nearly a year each) and do the lion's share of all the drudgery and nappies and stuff. But am I being shortsighted and selfish, though? Money is a big consideration and he asked how I would feel if we suddenly won the lottery ... and yes, I would be more inclined to keep it, though certainly not sure about it. And I agree that money's not really a good reason to kill a child. My head is all over the place. I am hoping I miscarry and the decision is made for me, as horrible as that sounds.

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IceAndASliceWithSoda · 09/08/2016 08:31

How are things for you now OP?

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heavenisaplaceinperth · 10/08/2016 21:07

Thanks for asking, Ice! I had the termination last week. Both appointments, I was in and out in literally 5 minutes, and drove myself home. The second lot of pills started working quickly, the bleeding started and for a bit it felt like a mini-labour, to be honest - combination of codeine and ibuprofen didn't seem to do anything at all and I felt every contraction. But that worst bit only lasted maybe an hour, which is nothing in the scheme of things.

Bleeding is still tailing off but physically I felt fine by the following day. And emotionally, I feel almost nothing except relief that I'm no longer pregnant. I think I wouldn't be human if there wasn't a tiny pang about what might have been in another, parallel universe, if things had conspired to make us decide to keep it - but I really have no regrets. I'm lucky it all went smoothly.