I found out on Friday that I am pregnant. This is not a wanted pregnancy and I took the morning after pill a few weeks ago to prevent this from happening. I have an appointment at BPAS on Monday for a consultation.
If I decide to have a medical abortion will they give me the pills there and then? On the website it says I can take the tablets together.
I know I shouldn't be but I am scared. I should take responsibility for what's happened and get on with it but I am terrified of going through the pain and bleeding. I've been dreaming about it. I have 3 children already so I don't want them to see me in pain.
I don't know what I'm asking really, maybe for some experiences of abortion, especially from those who have children already?
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23 replies
MummyPig24 · 29/07/2015 07:44
OP posts:
Thurlow ·
29/07/2015 11:47
I'm sorry the MAP didn't work for you 
I had a medical abortion at about 6 weeks. I went to the GP and was referred to Marie Stopes. I then called them and had a telephone appointment. They offered me a face-to-face counselling appointment which I didn't take up as I was very confident in my decision. They we took a while to find the quickest appointment, which was only a few days later but I did have to travel for it. I had my first appointment at 10, had a scan (which you don't see) just to confirm the pregnancy and date, and then took the first pills, which terminate the pregnancy. Then I went back 6 hours later and took the second pills, which start the bleeding.
I didn't start bleeding for another 4-5 hours. The bleeding was very heavy but it wasn't overwhelming, if that makes any sense. The first night I did wake once to change the pad, but had plenty of towels in bed so I felt reassured I wouldn't make too much of a mess. The next few days it was just like a heavy period, with period cramps - certainly nothing that I couldn't cope with.
In fact, the worse thing for me was the very large dose of antibiotics you have to take, which made me feel very rough. But I'm sure not everyone reacts to antib's in the same way.
Overall it wasn't pleasant, physically, but neither was it horrific. DD watched a lot of CBeeebies but hey, it was only for a short period, it was hardly the end of the world. It was nothing that I couldn't hide from her, nothing more than 'mum's feeling a bit poorly'.
I have one DD, she was about 20 months at the time, which was the main reason I made that decision (I had HG and wanted to leave a much bigger gap before going through pregnancy again). I promise you you certainly aren't the only woman who will make this decision; I can't remember the figures, but I'm sure that a huge majority of women who have abortions are already mothers. You are thinking about the family you already have and that is a good thing.
TheLastPickleInTheJar ·
31/07/2015 07:50
mummypig Sorry you're in this situation. It's great that your husband can be around for you. And snacks and duvet days sound great.
Isn't it amazing the difference in feeling that a positive pregnant pregnancy test gives us when it's unwanted? All those times of willing a line to appear and being so excited. I felt sick to my stomach when i saw the line on my unplanned pg. Such different emotions. None of us ever expected to be on that position. I certainly didn't. It must have been such a shock for you.
I remember that feeling of forgetting about it for a while then being hit with the realisation of it too.
It sounds like you're in a good supportive situation which is great.
Best wishes
TheLastPickleInTheJar ·
31/07/2015 07:55
I meant to say I had a lot of bleeding (literally couldn't leave the house because of if one day) but not one bit of pain which was surprising after everything i'd read. Try not to be scared. If you do have pain you can control it with medication.
Snacks, takeaways, dvds. The kids will enjoy it and you'll be able to rest up. 
TheLastPickleInTheJar ·
03/08/2015 17:03
Also thinking of you mummypig (and you, dirtyfabulous). I hope it went okay. It is scary, but you will get through it.
TheLastPickleInTheJar ·
03/08/2015 20:00
I hope it happens quickly for you and without too much discomfort.
Look after yourself over the next few days. Don't plan on doing too much if you can help it
horsewalksintoabar ·
04/08/2015 09:20
Oh poor you. :-( God how awful. I had one at 15 weeks about 4 years ago. It was a very much wanted baby but DH and I pass on a genetic disorder and this little one's amnio results showed that she had it.
It's like a very heavy period. I think the psychology of it makes the whole things worse. But it was not as dreadfully uncomfortable as I had feared. Just sad because you know it's not just an incredibly heavy period. I had two other kids at home so, like you, I had to get through it without them really being aware. I found the months afterward very hard because I bled for a long time and then my periods went a bit nutso for about 8 months. So I was constantly reminded as to why my body was out of whack. I rang Marie Stopes for support and they were awesome. It's a bit of a soul destroying process in the short term, but you will heal. Be very good to yourself. And just as a warning, most lovely, wonderful, caring DHs are kind of crap when it comes to this stuff. They do tend to see it as 'just a heavy period'. So if your DH is cut from the 'typical bloke' cloth, try not to take it too much on board. Your hormones will be a bit funky for a few days/weeks as your body adjusts, so take care. You might find yourself a bit emotional, grumpy, short-fused and knackered from the blood loss. Get help with the kids. Slow down a bit and just take your mind of things. You might want to take some ferrous sulfate. Eat well. Have a glass of wine. Just be nice to YOU. 
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