I'm into my 2nd trimester, feeling physically very good and emotionally fine - most of the time.
Then I have days, like yesterday, when I feel utterly ambivalent - and quite low - about becoming a mum in November.
It was sparked by being out with friends and their kids. All lovely, but I couldn't really be bothered to engage constantly with their young kids and the noise and fuss and stuff got to me after a while. I wanted to lie down and read the paper.
Then it made me feel guilty. What if those feelings are real and I project them onto my child when s/he is here? What if I don't bond and don't enjoy it? Is it really that different when it's your own child?
I'm in my late thirties. I had years of being single, very independent and a fairly self-absorbed life; and although it definitely didn't always make me happy, or always fulfill me, it was also great (and free) in many ways. I was quite ambivalent, and very scared about having a baby but (I fell in love with a wonderful bloke) and we wanted to try. When it happened (quickly), my partner who was totally ambivalent became unwaveringly excited, whereas I juggle with lots of feelings. As I say, ambivalence.
I ask you - is this normal? Is this okay?
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Pregnancy
Pregnant (2nd trimester) and ambivalence
5 replies
summerfruits · 27/06/2010 08:13
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