Newlywed, newly pregnant and overwhelmed

[NewbieT]

Hi all,

My first post here, feel like I'm going mad so apologies in advance for the ramble.

I got married 5 and a half weeks ago and found out one week ago that I'm pregnant - a honeymoon baby! We only started trying on honeymoon so whilst I felt incredibly lucky and blessed to have conceived 1st time, it was quickly overtaken by sickening worry. Does this make me a freak? Surely i should be walking on air? I'm just so overwhelmed with it all. A week ago my life was normal and I was a happy newlywed trying to readjust to going back to normal life, work etc. Now I am thinking pregnancy 24/7 and am panicking like crazy.

I bled a little bit on Saturday and was in floods, the on-call doc tried to reassure me (on the phone) and I rested up. Then I bled again a little bit on Sunday. Saw GP yesterday, referred to Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan today.

They said I was 5 weeks pregant not not 6, despite it being 6 weeks 1 day since the start of my last period. I don't understand, does this mean it's not developing properly? WHy don't the numbers add up? I thought it was just counted from the 1st day of last period so how can I now be 5 weeks pregnant?

They couldn't find a heartbeat but said it was too early so I'm going back in a fortnight. But then I google it and find out the heart is supposed to start beating 22 days after conception - which must be by now.

Me and my new husband have decided not to tell anyone till 12 weeks , if we get that far touch wood, so have nobody to talk to aprt from you ladies.. so any advice welcome. Am I going mad? Am I downright ungrateful? Why can't I be at least cautiously optimistic and happy instead of this total sense of worry, doom and gloom? I feel guilty to be feeling this way. Am I even putting the pregnancy at risk thinking so negatively?

SOrry to go on, thanks for reading.

[dinkystinky]

First of all Newbie congratulations on your marriage and your pregnancy. Please try amd relax about the pregnancy - plenty of people (myself included) have small bleeds in early pregnancy. Have you got any books about pregnancy you could read to try and hopefully calm your fears/answer some questions? If not, I'd recommend getting a book to read - take a look on Amazon or start a thread for recommendations.

FWIW, they have trouble finding heartbeats for all kinds of reasons so early on in pregnancy - it isnt necessarily anything sinister.

[NewbieT]

Hi Dinkystinky

Thanks very much for the response, and for your congrats and nice words. It is reassuring to get the feedback on the bleeding and heartbeat. I haven't got a book because I felt like if I bought one I would be 'tempting fate' which I know sounds silly. I'm not even a superstitious person usually, it's just all doing my head in!

Thanks again,

NewbieT

[missdt]

I was delighted to be pregnant but felt miserable, anxious, pessimistic for a while after I found out. Didn't want to tell anyone as they would be excited and I wasn't feeling it at all. Felt run down, sick and tired and wasn't enjoying it at all. But it's still all I could (and still) ever think about.

The good news is that it's all normal and it passes as your confidence grows. I am now happy and smiley, optimistic and relaxed - still feel sick and tired some of the time but emotionally much more in tune.

Good luck, hang on in there, try to relax but don't beat yourself up about it - it's a big thing to adjust to.

[Siu1]

Congratulation, Newbie on your pregnancy. I got pregnant pretty soon after I got married too(2 months). Although it was a shock, it was planned so felt v.lucky and blessed to have concieved so quickily.

I can totally understand your concerns with the bleeding. I am 33 week had a bit of a bleed during the first few weeks-had it checked out and it was nothing serious. Also had a scan at 7 week - although the baby's heart beat was visable, you really had to look for it so I wouldn't worry too much. It was literally a dot and I dont think I would've noticed it if the nurse hadnt pointed it out to me. I'm sure you will be able to see it when you go back for your next scan.

A word of advice also, dont really too much stuff on the internet because can it really make you paranoid. That is one thing I have learnt since being pregnant.

Take care

[CherryPie3]

Hi there newbie

I totally sympathise with you, the first 12 weeks are possible the most stressfull out of the entire 40 wk gestation!

I bled at 6 weeks, had a scan where they could find a heartbeat and couldn't confirm that I even had a viable pregnancy at all in there.

Happy to say I am now 29+5 weeks pregnant .

I know its hard to feel positive when you're so worried but it's perfectly normal and will not harm your little one, so be kind to yourself.

[NewbieT]

Hi missdt, siu1, CherryPie3,

Ireally appreciate your posts, they're very helpful. Make me feel like I'm not going too mental. Really happy for you all that your pregnanices are progressing well. YOu all talk a lot of sense - it is a shock and I shouldn't beat myself up for feeling a bit freaked out by it all. And Siu1 and CherryPie3, thanks for sharing about the bleeding and scans, that is reassuring.

I think I need to stop googling now ...

[CherryPie3]

Yes googling is bad for you

[llandb]

Congratulations!

Don't worry about the dates

First of all, the counting from first day of previous period is a working model based on the rare, elusive ideal average woman who has a 28-day cycle and ovulates at day 14. If your cycle is of a different length or irregular (or honeymoon hormones have blipped you out of synch just this once ), that won't really apply to you. Basically, they take the gestational age of your fetus (according to the scan) add two weeks, regardless of what really happened in your cycle.

Secondly, depending on whom you listen to , early scans are not considered to be all that accurate. Most people will tell you to put your faith in the 12-week dating scan instead. (Of course there are dissenters who claim the reverse).

I had an EPU scan when I thought I was 6 weeks, to be told I was no more than 4 1/2.

Two weeks later, they gave me another and said I was 7 weeks. At that stage I was 8 weeks by my calculations and 6 1/2 if you added 2 weeks to their previous guesstimate.

Then at my dating scan they told me I was 13 weeks, which is exactly what my calculations had told me. If the EPU scans had been correct then I would have been 11.5 (by first scan) or 12 (by second scan).

So that elusive gap could close for you

[NewbieT]

Thank you very much landb, that is really good to know. My cycle is up to 34 days so that's practically a whole extra week right there. I'm just all worried out I'm not thinking straight!

Thanks again,

T