When to tell work?

[Miffster]

Hi
Am 7+1 and after a pretty easy ride so far now feel quite ill and exhausted, to the extent that it is making it very hard to concentrate at work and I want to fall asleep all the time. Also feel bloated, moody,weepy and keep weeing incessantly. Have told my ex boss who is also my mate, and the bloke on my team who is another mate and sits next to me, in confidence and they are both pleased as anything for me, but nobody 'official' yet ie. HR, department head, etc.

Was intending to wait til 12 weeks but now thinking a) if I MC it might be easier if they know I was PG and then will be more sympathetic if I need time off,
b) plus I 'm also starting to look shit
and sound tired and distracted and lacking in enthusiasm and may need to take time off with the nausea/exhaustion etc if it gets much worse ( hope not as have lots to do).

Was wondering when people here told work , and what the outcomes were? ( both positive and negative). Did you feel it was a good thing if you told them before 12 weeks? Were you reluctant to tell them because of being 'invisible'/passed over for promotion/responsibility etc? Did you feel relieved? What are the advantages and disadvantages of coming clean early?
Would be really interested to hear...

Thanks

[Sariska]

Both times I waited until after 12 weeks before giving official notice to HR and dept head. However each time I told certain colleagues earlier (and my roommate, who had 2 kids of her own, guessed). It was nice to have people who would symathise with me when I was feeling crap - although I guess you do have to be careful that the grapevine won't carry news of your pg to people with whom you don't yet want to share it.

Main reason I didn't make it official until after 12 wks was because I wanted the 12 wk scan done and dusted first. That way, if things had gone wrong, I would only have had to tell my boss if I'd wanted to - which I probably wouldn't have wanted to.

There's no right way of doing things, though. Go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable, I say.

[Emster30]

I told both my boss and the person who reports to me at about 7 weeks. I figured they would need to know if something went wrong anyway, and I knew they'd both be thrilled for me. I kind of also wanted someone to know so that they would help me with lifting heavy boxes etc that was part of my job.

I then told everyone else when I came back after Christmas at about 11 weeks having had a scan.

[jwiggles]

I told my boss as soon as I knew, as we are a very small team of 4 people and one other lady in the team is due to go on Maternity leave in July so thought id better get it in.

Plus I have been having many appts for extra scans and docs appt due to pain issues so needed to let her know so I could take the time off.

Her first words were 'oh f&%*' as thats 2 people down when I leave, but then she said she was happy for me!

I'll tell everyone else after my 12 week scan next week...fingers crossed.

[Hevster]

I had to tell mine at about 9 weeks as i knew i was about to get signed off sick, however i made sure she knew that i was telling her in confidence - if you are struggling i think it's best to say something to your line manager so that they can cut you a bit of slack if poss

[MumNWLondon]

I told mine at 25 weeks (legally you have to tell them by then). I have done the same all three times thats what was comfortable for me.

[legallyblond]

I told work at 15 weeks.

I wanted to wait until I had my 12 week scan and had all my results (combined blood and nuchal results back. thiose take 2 weeks where I am if all is fine (which they were!).

If this is your first (this is my first), you won't start showing until 15, 16 or 17 weeks anyway, so its not as if most bosses will guess (unless they are particularly interested in your bra size!).

I felt really comfortable with that timing. I felt that telling anyone earler might somehow "jinx" it - irrational I know, but I just couldn't face explaining to my secretary or my colleagues that I had had a mc etc etc (the risk if you tell early).