when do you tell people?

[lelarose]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant for the first time and have first scan in a couple of weeks. So far only 3 people know. I feel like if the the scan is ok then that's when you start telling everyone and I would like to. I look pregnant already and have noticed people looking at my belly at work and I'm sick of avoiding friends that don't know.

However, at age 37 I feel I have to have the test for downs syndrome etc (which I'm terrified about)and am told this can't happen til 16 weeks. I don't want to be pessimistic but I cant face saying anything until I've been through all that, but at the same time don't know if I can keep this up for another 6 weeks!!

What do other people do about this?

[asampras]

with our first DC i waited until after the 12 week scan, but this time i have told family and close friends at 7 weeks my reasoning was should the worst happen i would need their support. I'm 12 weeks pregnant now and haven't told work yet mostly because I'm still a bit shy about telling work though i think a few might already guessed as i have a lot of comments about how pale and sick i look! I had the nuchal test for Down Syndrome at my 12 week scan and i'm waiting for the results of the blood test for Down Syndrome at the moment.

[MrsC2010]

We told family and close friends at around 7 to 8 wks then I told work at 10. Other work related people, training courses etc (I have a complicated working situation!) I told after the 13wk scan.

[lelarose]

Thanks for that. Asampras- does that mean you've had all the downs syndrome tests you need at 12 weeks? My dr said you have to wait til 16.

I'm wary of telling my mother and partner's parents as it would be first grandchild for all of them and would feel so terrible for them if then all went wrong. I'm also struggling to get too excited because of all this stupid fear so I feel a bit guilty when other people are over the moon for me and I'm full of anxiety. sounds terrible I know.

If I can get all the tests done at 12 weeks that would be brlliant. Maybe it depends where you live or something?

[katiecubs]

Hi lelarose, you can have the combined test (which measures the nuchal transluency and combines with blood results) from 11 week - 13 weeks 6 days. it's actually the most effective test you can have (95% reliable) however it's not free in all areas. It sounds like your area offers the triple or quadruple blood test instead which is done at 16 weeks (that's around 75% reliable i think).

If you are worried and want to know earlier you could pay for a private nuchal test? It should cost around £150 - £200 depending on the clinic. Babybond has nation wide clinics and costs £169.

Katie xxx

[lelarose]

Thanks so much katie I will look into this. Really appreciate your help x

[katiecubs]

No problem! I'm sure you have nothing to worry about and will get the all clear - good luck xx