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Worried about coping with third pregnancy

(7 Posts)
lumpasmelly Sun 13-Sep-09 11:41:08

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with DC3 and prior to getting pregnant I was really excited about the prospect of having another baby....in fact it was all I could think about since I gave birth to DS2 2 years ago! however, for the past couple of weeks (ever since the 24/7 nausea and tiredness kicked in) I have been getting increasingly more worried about the whole situation, and whether or not I will be able to cope when the baby comes. I already have 2 very active sons (who will be aged 5 1/2 and 2 1/2 when new baby arrives) and sometimes I can barely cope with them!!! My husband is very hands on at the weekends when he is around, but works very long hours during the week, and I have no immediate family in close proximity, so it really is all going to be down to me.......I can't believe that I am feeling this way, and I just want to regain some of that excitement again.....to make matters worse, we told DH's parents this weekend (as MIL was making comments about me being lazy and not doing much to help DH with the kids - DH wanted her to know that it was because I was feeling rotten)...anyway, her response was "oh", followed up by, "well, you're not going to have any money anymore now are you" and "well you know that we won't take all three of them at the same time".....charming, and also quite ironic considering that she and her husband have looked after our 2 boys an average of 2 days per year in the 5 years we have had our children!!!! ANyway, I suppose that just put more of a dampner on it for me, as it highlight all the things that WILL be difficult about having another baby......to make matters worse, the whole 3rd baby was my idea in the first place and I had to talk DH into it (although he did come round of his own accord in the end)....I just can't help but worry I've made a terrible mistake!!! SOme words of encouragement please!!! At the moment I've got myself so worked up that having 3 kids is some hurculean feat that I'm totally incapable of coping with!!!

mummy2t Sun 13-Sep-09 11:53:38

i am exactly in same position!!! only my 2 ds's are 5 1/2 and 17 months and i am now 38 weeks with dd1. we were sooooooooo happy at first and then went through the whole, can we cope, can we afford it blah blah blah. after about a week or so of worry we were back to been happy again. i think its normal to go through these doubts as having a chld whether you already have kids is a life changing thing. i think you adapt to any situation you find yourself in. i never thought n a million years i'd cope with 2 kids, but i have, to the point we are having another one. i did get rather negative comments to begin with but just ignore them all ( your hormones are perhaps making everything feel a tad worse ) take care and chill out, enjoy it!!

lumpasmelly Sun 13-Sep-09 11:59:58

Glad I'm not the only one feeling this way!!! .....do you know what you are having yet? We have lots of boys in our family so it is likely ours will be another boy, so i am dreading the inevitable "pity" I will get!! (as everyone assumes that you are trying for a third child to get a girl!!!)....

fufflebum Sun 13-Sep-09 12:06:26

I remember feeling exactly the same when I was pregnant, except it was when I was pregnant with Dc 2. I think as another poster has said it is natural to feel jittery and other peoples unhelpful comments only make matters worse for you.

I think that how ever many children you have there is always a degree of apprehension. this is quite normal.

You will cope and you will survive. There will be days when it seems impossible and you will ask 'why oh why' but then there will be days when it will be much better. You have managed to look after your other children so you will cope with another.

Good luck and I hope you will feel more positive soon.

mummy2t Sun 13-Sep-09 12:25:56

yeah we are having a girl and yes we had the we are only trying for a third to get a girl comments!! and now i am getting the " this is the last one now you have got your girl" comments, why cant people understand your trying for a baby, whatever the flavour!! our family is mainly boy's so i too was just expecting to have another boy so was quite shocked when they said girl, although i am still not 100% sure!

lilysam Sun 13-Sep-09 13:57:45

Snap - i could have written your post myself! I'm almost 10 weeks and the exhaustion is killing me, and 18 month old DS is STILL up in the night sad I'm really beginning to wonder what we've done!!

I was really keen to have another but forgot how bad the first few months are. Hopefully we'll start and feel better soon.

lumpasmelly Sun 13-Sep-09 16:21:24

congrats to everyone on their pregnancies!!! Maybe this is just the first trimester blues....so I seriously don't remember feeling quite so rotten with my last 2. DH thinks its because I am at home with the boys so notice it before whereas with my other 2 pregnancies I was at work, sitting at a desk with my mind active, so easy to forget about feeling rotten....maybe he has a point, or maybe I have just conveniently forgotten how dreadful the first three months are like.....also, I have noticed my DSs waking up in the night a lot more than they ever have over the past year, and this has coincided with me getting pregnant. It's almost like they are subliminally reminding me of the sleepless nights to come....gulp...

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