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So...weight gain...

(52 Posts)
Firsttimer7259 Tue 01-Sep-09 15:10:32

I always thought i would have a fairly active healthy pregnancy. Thats definately not happened. I am 20 weeks now and have already put on 10 kilos (22pounds). I was hoping not to put on much more than that for the entire pregnancy (its the lower healthy range).

I was not thin before but within healthy BMI ranges. Every thread I look at is about people concerned they've lost weight/arent gaining enough. Surely that cant be the majority???!!

My story so far. Fine first 8 weeks, ate lots, but healthy lots and slept lots. Then 6 weeks sick as a dog, slept even more, helathy eating out the window, ate loads of nursery food (not bad) and chocolate/sweets, ice cream anything that seemed ok.

Since 15 weeks, feeling much better but the bad habits have continued. My appetite is no longer as rabid as it was early on, still gaining weight but not as fast as before. I still get tired but exercise (or more honestly a bit of moving about - walking, swimming etc) seems more possible than they did in first trimester.

I am kind of hoping the weight gain might taper off naturally and I feel and look good. I ahve a big bump no denying that (I actually think it looks beautiful) and to be truthful my butt and thighs are up a size but that seems natural and normal for pregnancy (?). I am worried that according to the books the bulk of my weight gain is still ahead of me - and what that will mean in terms of stress and strain on my body from being heavy.

Should I be more concerned about how much I am eating? Did anyone else have the experience where they did a lot of their weight gain early? I know this is quite long but I wonder if anyone out there had a similar expereince adn how it was by the end...

Morloth Tue 01-Sep-09 15:20:57

Just forget about it. Do the best you can, eat as well as you can, exercise as much as you feel able and sleep as much as you like.

It really is just a few months out of your life.

I used to be really fat and have gained quite a bit during the early weeks, lots of lying on lounge eating dry carbs to keep from throwing up etc, very little exercise.

Don't worry about quantity of food, worry about quality.

Oxymoronic Tue 01-Sep-09 15:38:21

I'm 22 wks and have eaten reasonably healthily, I've managed to get out for a good long walk everyday, and I've still put on loads of weight! I don't want to cut down on anything I eat, and I can't manage to exercise any more, so I'm trying not to mind too much hmm easier said than done.

Like you though I am quite amazed at how big my arse is now!! To quote The Divine Comedy it's the size of a small country [grin} and it's not normally that big! I don't know whether I'm trying to make myself feel better about it, but when I look sidewards on, because my bump is so big it does look like it's pushing my back (and arse) out.

Like Morloth says, it's not for that long, and in the end it's not because we're eating too much and not exercising enough, we're cooking that wriggly, gorg little new life. Forget the social judgements you think people are making (but who aren't at all!) and enjoy it smile

Firsttimer7259 Tue 01-Sep-09 15:55:05

Perhaps I shoudl re-phrase I am also concerned that I continue to eat crap. Esp chocolate.

I am alos concerned about where this will end...how much bigger can I really get...will it start to hurt?

Morloth Tue 01-Sep-09 15:58:56

Probably not. You might want to control the junk. Have a bit, but fill up on the good stuff first.

Kingsroadie Tue 01-Sep-09 16:03:42

I completely understand what you are saying -I have been on a few weight gain threads bemoaning my fate. (people might start to think I have a problem...). I have never been remotely interested in weight before as it has never been an issue. However, I am now almost 27 weeks and have put on about 21lbs or a stone and a half. I am fed up with feeling fat. Rationally I know I am not fat, but I am fatter than I was before if you see what I mean? I want to go back to normal and feel like me again!

I don't eat huge amounts as I don't have a massive appetite. I sometimes eat crips and chocolate but tbh I ate more of that before I was pregnant and it made no difference to my size/weight. I feel guilty eating it now (having never felt guity before) as I feel like I have put on so much. I then get annoyed as I think "oh for god's sake, stop being so silly, if there is ever a time you shouldn't feel guilty about eating a little bit of chocolate, now is the time".

Thing is, eating cereal for breakfast, an apple mid morning, salad or soup or sushi (not raw fish) for lunch and more fruit or a yoghurt mid avo and a smallish normal dinner is not a lot - so why have I put on so much?! My body appears to be trying to store as much as possible.

Anyway - sorry for the self-obsessed rant - I just wanted to let you know that I sympathise! I intend to walk lots (I do walk a bit now but not as much as I would like) during mat leave and see if that prevents enormous third trimester weight gain! (I also had no morning sickness so didn't lose any in the first 12 weeks - but nor did I gain any.)

Not long now smile

Oxymoronic Tue 01-Sep-09 16:26:12

I wonder if the choc thing is to try and compensate for the lack of energy/foggy mind thing you get when you're preg? If your body is craving the things it needs (and I'm not saying choc has any nutritional value to craving) but it does make you feel good, and gives a sugar rush to an extent.

Womens bodies also have more fat than mens, esp during preg, because if there's no food available it has to keep the baby going and so stores it up while it's there, like Kingsroadie says.

Feierabend Tue 01-Sep-09 16:42:37

I'd say don't worry at all. I put on at least 17 kgs in my first pregnancy and even more in my second. I gained about 5-7 kgs in each trimester I think although it did slow down a little bit towards the end. I ate a lot of healthy food and had my five a day, but also lots of chocolate, cake, cheese and the odd McD's. With DD1, the weight came down almost immediately after the birth (a lot of it must have been water) and I was back in most of my normal clothes after around 6-8 weeks. With DD2, it's taking a bit longer but 4 months after the birth I have only 2 kgs to lose. I reckon your body know what it's doing, you might need the fat stores for breast feeding. Good luck!

jardins Tue 01-Sep-09 17:01:03

Interesting thread. I'm on my third pregnancy and, at the age of forty, I am keen to stay as healthy and fit as possible (fit for a slob like myself means swimming once or twice a week and walking, NO MORE!) However pregnancy is not an easy state of being: don't you find that some days you feel great and others the best you can do is drag yourself around? My point is that you cannot always control how you feel re: food as some days you may 'need' a sweet fix just to get through the next hour or two.

My midwife here in France - and they are VERY weight conscious in France - generally advises women, who do not wish to put on too much weight, to reduce their sugar intake, and yes, that includes fruit too. (Shriek of horror from me as I have been enjoying melons, watermelons, peaches, etc). I am very fortunate as I do not crave that much sweet stuff this time round, although I am quite partial to the odd spoon of Nutella when the going gets tough!

I honestly believe that weight gain during pregnancy is partly due to water retention. I don't know about the rest of you but I drink copious amounts of water and do not pee that much! Maybe I should reduce my sodium intake which is probably far too high.

I am 1 metre 80 and at 20 weeks I have put on 6 kilos, almost three of which have been in the last month. The one and a half kilo per month guideline is, in my mind, crap. blush

Finally I would agree with Kingsroadie; I I feel as if my pregnant body is storing up and it deffinitely does that for me when breastfeeding (ie bf doesn't make me lose weight at all).

Hmm, conflicting thoughts about weight gain during pregnancy. On one hand I agree it is a time for pampering and pandering BUT putting on too much (whatever that means) can make you feel more tired and it may take even longer to get back to 'normal' afterwards. However I really believe women need to accept that post pregnancy is a natural transition and the body requires TIME after nine months of huge change.

Please don't fixate too much on your weight: follow your instinct but remain fairly reasonable.

Sorry for the waffle!

Feierabend Tue 01-Sep-09 17:19:38

BTW it's not true that eating loads / gaining lots of weight during pg automatically equals big baby, like my mum for example would have me believe. My DD1 was 6lb 8oz at a week overdue!

Stokey Tue 01-Sep-09 18:16:51

I am 30 wks and have put on over 2 stone blush

try to convince self it is cos i was very petite before i started but am sure ice-cream craving (and indulging) hasn't helped

am kinda avoiding scales now as figure it is just too late to do anything about it.

DR was very unsympathetic when i said i was worried aboout it at 16 wks... just told me a baby only weighs a few pounds so bascially i shouldn't be so weighty.

Am ignoring & keeping faith with the haagen daaz

preggo Tue 01-Sep-09 18:36:50

I will be 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow and i already look like a bungalow with legs.

God knows what i am gonna look like when i am 9 months. This is my first pregnancy, i eat heathily but dont do a lot of exercise because my job involves sitting at a desk all day and im so tired when i get home.

I would like to go swimming or cycling but i had a miscarriage last november and im scared that any activity that i do will cause damage. Ive heard that i have to wait until after 12 weeks.

Oxymoronic Tue 01-Sep-09 19:04:25

Lol bungalow with legs, I like that grin

preggo Tue 01-Sep-09 19:13:56

yep, that should have been my nickname bungalowlegs, got a nice ring to it!

Feierabend Tue 01-Sep-09 19:56:58

When I mentioned my fast weight gain to the doc this time round, she just looked at me, said 'you look fine to me, just keep eating' and that was that. So I think that was the best bit of advice any doctor has ever given me!

Firsttimer7259 Wed 02-Sep-09 09:11:20

These responses are really really interesting.

I think Oxymoronic may be onto something when she says the chocolate thing may have something to do with trying to get my brain to work. Its often in the slow afternoon whenI am trying to do something that requires mental effort and I cant focus through the pregnancy fog that I am reaching for the chocolate.

I really thought a lot about this over the last 24 hours nd here is what I think: To some degree I do feel like my body knows whta its doing. Initially all my urges and cravings were so sharp and urgent. I just had to eat something had to sleep this minute etc. And my appetite was just roaring. Now things are calming down, including my appetite and I am more eating things like chocolate and cake cos I got used to it. Maybe its because my body is now used to all the new hormones floating about, maybe its because I have already done all the complicated stuff - y'know making brains and kidneys and what have you. Now I am just growing the baby rather than making it. So perhaps should just try to go with the flow.

Its just I look at the books and the guidelines and even the discussion forums and it seems like I am doing it all wrong. But I think I should trust myself. When I look at myself I think I look good, I ma bigger but thats because I am pregnant. My thighs are bigger than I ever seen them but my arms and face look normal. I know some women just stay exactly the same but with a bump - but when I think about it in real life those are 'beanstalk' women, I am not built like that I am curvy with boobs and an butt and it seems natural that me pregnant involves a big padded bottom... I guess the guidelines etc make me worry tat I am going to come out of this with huge amounts of weight I will struggle to shift for years that will make me miserable.

So perhaps the plan is to eat a bit more healthy stuff and healthy snacks to stop me reaching for chocolatey pick me ups. And try to leave the rest alone..

If anyone else has expereince of gaining lots/ gaining early/gaining healthily and how that went post pregnancy I would really like to hear. I have got a bit fed up of all the 'I lost 15lbs in first trimester and only just made it back in time to deliver the baby' posts. I dont mean it in a bad way. I actually think that must be awful and worrying in terms of feeling well and wndering hw the baby is doing. But it makes me feel like a fatso, whcih logically is stupid of me but you know...Anyway would really like to hear of other experiences

valbona Wed 02-Sep-09 09:55:01

I totally know what you mean - it must be horrible if you're so sick that you're losing weight in the first trimester but that has been light years from my experience.

I felt sick the whole time up to 14 weeks but the only thing that made me feel better was to eat and eat - there wasn't any choice about it, my body was almost screaming at me to feed it. more than happy to listen!

I'm now 20-ish weeks and have put on a stone - but now I have a bump rather than just a thick waist and expanding behind I feel happy with it. have started wearing tight stuff again rather than baggy T-shirts and that definitely feels 'better'.

if you feel good that's got to be the main thing - I'm sure you're right to trust yourself. my friends who have babies swear the weight goes through breast-feeding and stress anyway ...

bevlin Wed 02-Sep-09 14:18:55

firsttimer and Valbona Im so with you on the 'had to eat' part. I was like that for first trimester with DS and I was like that with this PG first trimester.
I have to heed a warning though.....
I was under 9 stone stone before I ever had babies. Then I fell PG with DS and had the whole, have to eat every 2 hours or was sick. I then went into 2nd trimester a bit like you firsttimer, I think habbit took over and for the first time in my life I slowly gained a sweet tooth. By end of PG, 3.5 stones later, at 5'2, I had High blood pressure, swelling of the hands feet and face so bad that people I knew would walk past me in the street then gasp with horror at how unrecognisible I was. I couldn't walk the length of myself and it was the most horrible, uncomfortable experience ever. I was being kept an eye on for pre-ecampsia in the end but went into labour at 37 weeks....my DS only weighed 5lb 15 oz blush! The swelling continued for weeks after. My feet have never went back to normal, are now flat and a size bigger. My wedding rings had to be adjusted 2.5 sizes bigger, even though I briefly got down to 9 stone again (new sweet tooth and bad habits kept me creeping back up to 9.6lb) they never looked the same (chippolata fingers). My DS was 1 year old before I eventually realised the weight was not coming off itself and had to join weight watchers.
Point is, don't take for granted the weight won't mean much to the health of the PG and it will go when the baby comes, it doesn't happen for everyone and no amount of breast feeding made any difference to me, if anything, it felt like first trimester again, bloody starving!
I wish I hadn't put all that weight on, it made breast feeding outside more embarresing, which will I flash, my boobs of my new 4 spare tyres! Every mum I met seemed to be really slim too so it added to my lack of confidence you have as a new mum.
I am 22 weeks now, failing miserably with food a lot, bad habbits creeping back but tryinmg really hard to either exercise or eat healthy. I have put on 13lbs so far which is far better than last time although I started off a good 6lbs heavier so not sure how im going to end up.
Im not saying it's easy, im struggling too but im just letting you know the downside of piling on too much. It's not too late for either of us, good luck. x

Kingsroadie Wed 02-Sep-09 15:58:56

bevlin - you have managed to scare me nicely! smile

I just don't know what to do apart from going on what most people would term as a "diet" (which is clearly not healthy in pregnancy)! Or starting to do lots of exercise (I do yoga once a week and walk if I can but I just don't have much time for anything else and am v tired too as sleeping terribly).

I was 8st 5lbs and 5ft 6 pre pregnancy so whenever I mention this to my Dr or midwife they say that I am fine, which annoys me, that I don't look fat and as my BMI was 19 before I will put on more naturally. I just think, as I said above, my body is storing the fat in preparation for breast-feeding and has probably slowed my metabolism as a result. My chiropractor, on the other hand, told me to try not to put too much weight on as it will make my back even worse (had upper back probs before pregnancy anyway).

I think in general the eating chocolate and sweet things as "pick me up" can be a vicious circle (I suffer from low blood sugar and need to eat small amounts every four or so hours - ie I can't do the regular three big meals a day thing). But when I eat chocolate or something sweet I then have a slump and feel like I "need" something else swet again as I am really tired. I am sure you all know this but eating low GI foods (like an apple) is much better than sugary snacks as you get into a cycle and crave more and more to feel "normal" again. I try to limit sweet things to after a meal so blood sugar not so badly affected and so the cravings don't start! Sorry if you all know this and I am preaching to the converted but just thought I'd throw it out there. (I had a clementine last night instead of anything sweet and have just had an apple with my decaff tea - I know how to live life in the fast lane!)

PS still selfishly feeling fat grin

bevlin Wed 02-Sep-09 17:02:37

kingsraodie im confused if you were only 8 stone 5 lbs and 5'6 with such a good BMI to start with, why are you worried? You still weigh less than me right now and im only 22 weeks and 5'2. Im 10 stone 5lbs and you must be 9 stone 12 lbs.......sod the clemintines, get the hob nobs out!

You really have nothing to worry about. I was probably 11.5 stone by the time I was 27 weeks last time, thats why I had so many probs blush

Kingsroadie Wed 02-Sep-09 17:11:56

Well, because of the amount of weight I have put on rather than what I actually weigh... Surely putting on four stone (for example) can't be very good for you whether you weigh 7 stone or 10 stone to start off with?

Plus I keep seeing all these threads saying people haven't managed to gain any weight or have only gained a few pounds at say 24 weeks. My mother only gained about a stone anda half throughout her entire pregnancy with me - jealous!

preggo Wed 02-Sep-09 17:56:37

I am 13stone and 5ft 5 and now im really worried! If you all had mega problems when you started off at 8st or 9 stone then what am i gonna deal with!

I really did not think i was that big pre pregnancy. i am only 8 weeks pregnant now but my belly has really stuck out and it hurts.

Does anyone think that you can loose weight whilst being pregnant. I know it sounds stupid but ive read that your metobolic rate increased when you are pregnant and if i eat the same as normal then i will only put on baby weight and therefore the fat around my bum or hips will disappear?

Are there any true big mammas out there that will make me feel that i am not the only one?

jellybean86 Wed 02-Sep-09 21:01:47

Im rather worried too! Im 5'6 and 15st!! im 15 weeks and havent put anything on...yet, althought i seem to have a bump! dreadin it when i do put on weight! my midwife will not be happy!

Firsttimer7259 Wed 02-Sep-09 21:40:44

Its seems really difficult to try to discuss weight and eating without all the self doubt/fear of being fat or greedy etc emerging like a little monster.

Preggo, you wouldnt compare yourself to a woman with a BMI of 19 when not pregnant. Why do so now? esp as pregnancy is a very tricky time to try and do anything about all that. Kingsroadies start weight has nothing to do with how you are going or what might be good for you just now. Dont freak out, if you felt good at your starting weight then thats whats good for you and your body and I think (FWIW)you should try to take it from there. I also noted that Kingsroadie is a fair bit taller than me and it sounds like she now probably weighs what I weighed whne I got pregnant - but that is really not the point. In terms of dieting I am no medic but the eating advice seems to state dont try to diet (in terms of calorie restrict) unless you are obese and then do so with clinical supervision.

I understand where Kingsroadie is coming from in terms of worrying about the amount of weight gain rather than your actual weight. And that sense of how much change can your systems deal with. Thats part of what I worry about I also have a bad back and really dont want to be immoblised in the last months as that makes everything worse.

Nw that I am pregnant and have gained so much weight early on. I do wonder will I be overweight forever after and it wont shift or is this just normal and I just dont know. Also tehre is this thing of tryng to distinguish between the I actually just need this biscuit right now -like Jardin said- (and not making a huge deal over it) and trying to figure out when I am just (over)indulging myself. What I find tricky is the bad habits you fall into. I think initially reaching for high calorie snacks was a reasonable physical response when suffering from loads of vomiting and just wanting the easiest way of getting calories. I am sure my body overdid it and panicked but at that time the sweeties etc seemed 'right' and I feel instinctively that my body was desperately trying to keep the baby safe( I was starting to get HG). But now that thats stopped I am just being self-indulgent continuing to have chocolate and fudge in a way I wouldnt normally just because I have gotten used to it.

Anyway decision is that I am going to eat more rather than less, healthy stuff that is. Because I think now that I am worrying about it I am trying to restrict my meals and then I just give in to the chocolate...I dont have the iron self control that would go with not having both. And tbh I wouldnt be such a luscious sexy mama if I did have that kind of iron discipline. I am not that type of woman and therein lies not my charm. Lets not forget who we are eh?

Again apols this is so long but I find this is hard stuff to discuss (without doing the 'bad meI am so fat' 'oh no Im fatter than you' (or whatever is your particular trope of this stupid body anxiety stuff.) and I really do want to try to talk about it a bit more.

AdelaideJo Wed 02-Sep-09 21:42:20

What a cool thread.

I'm 6 weeks with second DC and its going exactly as it did the last time. I start to bulk up almost after conception - boobs puff up, tops of arms wobble and shake more and my waistline dissapears (not that I have a great defined waist anyway!). Yesterday I noticed that when seated on loo for a wee there is far more thigh & ass reaching to the edge of the loo seat blush. And my face is a big round moon now.

I'm 5.4 and normally weight 59kgs which is about 10 stones. With first DS I went up to 77kgs a couple of weeks before the birth.
Whats weird is, I had a really small bump and DS was only 6lb 2....so I guess what i'm trying to say is, I think I put down the foundations of massive ass & thighs really early on and then its just the belly that grows! I reckon some women are like this.

No one should worry!! The only reason this caused me any problems WHATSOEVER is that family members see straight away that I'm porking up, and mention it. Same goes for work colleagues - didn't even make it to 10 weeks before people started asking angry.

Incidentally i'm no skinny minny and have to do quite a regular exercise regime to maintain my weight.

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