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loss of libido........anyone?

(15 Posts)
moschops Tue 22-Mar-05 14:13:22

my dp is wonderful..patient etc. has been great through the early weeks when i was feeling rough and is still very understanding about how tired i get in the evenings.

however i have totally lost any desire to be intimate..........and while he says he doesn't mind i feel bad about it.

i'm 16 weeks pregnant and wondering if i will ever feel ahem......amorous during my pregnancy.

honestly i know he does mind because he has quite a high sex drive and it must be driving him crazy that i'm just not interested.

not the easiest of things to talk about but am i alone? please give me some hope for the next few months!!!

TracyK Tue 22-Mar-05 14:24:42

sorry - mine went and still hasn't come back a year down the line. But plenty of ladies out there the opposite to me.

SilverLining Tue 22-Mar-05 14:29:07

Nope - not just you! Feeling exactly the same except I'm nearly 18 weeks so DH is feeling it even more than yours!! We did have a scare at 12 weeks and had to have a CVS which made me want practically seperate beds!!! I know I am being unreasonable but just want to sleep ....know what I mean!!?? Perhaps we will get a sudden change of mood and there will be no stopping us .... (Shall I forward this to my DH to give him hope??!) SL xx

fruitful Tue 22-Mar-05 14:57:03

No, you're not alone. First its your hormones, then its your size, then you have the baby and feel like you never want to give him the chance to make you do that again, then you find that being in bed and not asleep seems a sinful waste of a bed, then your toddler wants to sleep with you... Its amazing that anyone ever has a second child.

Sorry, that doesn't give you hope, does it? But you're not alone!

MrsWednesday Tue 22-Mar-05 15:14:57

Definitely not alone.

I'm 29 weeks and haven't done it since conception. I was like this in my last pregnancy too. It feels like my body has got other things to be concentrating on (like growing a baby!) so I don't have spare energy or inclination for anything else. I have had a few very rude dreams though.

MissChief Tue 22-Mar-05 15:16:31

I shall out myself and join this club too! dh getting grumpy but I'm truly not in the mood at 21 weeks with aches & pains & insomnia to bother, tbh!

Expectantmum Tue 22-Mar-05 15:21:38

Thank god for that! I thought maybe I was alone too! At 26 weeks, its not that I don't have the inclination but I don't have the energy to, every bone in my body aches which makes the idea even less appealing and I just can't believe that I look that attractive!! Although its hard to keep saying no as I don't want DP to feel "unloved" [grin!].

Twiglett Tue 22-Mar-05 15:27:22

I think that's totally normal personally

totally lost my libido the second I conceived (with DS anyway), didn't come back till a year after birth

KVG Tue 22-Mar-05 15:27:26

Message withdrawn

moschops Tue 22-Mar-05 15:38:45

i feel better just knowing other people are going through the same thing!!!

we have been intimate a few times since conception..........not until after the 12 week scan as i think we both just wanted to wait and make sure there really is a little baby in there.

i do feel better when the sun shines.......and there is no pressure at all from dp. i guess its just me feeling that i mustn't neglect him.
i am so lucky i have a dp who is so understanding.

MissChief Tue 22-Mar-05 15:42:29

problem is I have never for the last few yrs looked at dh and thought phwoar! (maybe the subject for another thread )
tbh, pregnancy is a great excuse! Dont think I've got low libido, certainly not in younger yrs but never been strong point of my rel with dh..not particularly strong chemistry on my side.

MissChief Tue 22-Mar-05 15:45:43

oh god, wish there was a delete button!

moschops Tue 22-Mar-05 15:50:13

lol Misschief.............i've been with dp 12 years and it has blown hot and cold over that time. i think its perfectly normal for it to be that way. it is absolutely not the most important part of our relationship (which is just as well or we'd have gone our seperate ways by now!)we really are each others best friend, and the last couple of years have blown me away. i didn't think we could get any closer than we makes me cry sometimes when i think how much ilove him.

MrsEvs Tue 22-Mar-05 15:55:47

I was exactly the same when pregnant with dd. Quite apart from being tired and not feeling like it, I just felt weird about the the whole thing. DH was lovely about it, though I did often feel really bad about it still. I'm afraid it did continue for the whole of my prenancy, but did return a couple of months after dd was born.

Probably not exactly what you (or your dh!) want to hear but at least you know your not weird There are lots of people who had the same experience.

LadyLazarus Tue 22-Mar-05 17:23:20

moschops - I know exactly how you feel. Me + hubby have only 'got together' once since the conception, and even then for some stupid reason I burst into tears right in the middle of it for no reason at all! Fortunately he saw the funny side!!!

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