Baby will be living between two houses - assistance required!

[lolianja]

Am 20 weeks tomorrow and hoping to get underway with the buying of various supplies, furniture etc.

However, my boyfriend and I live seperately - albeit fairly close to one another - and whilst bub's main base will be at my house (am only 20 so still at home with family) I'd say that quite a considerable percentage would be spent at my boyfriend's house too. Not ideal by any means. There's just about enough space at mine, but my boyfriend is in his mid 30s and lives with two male flatmates of a similar age, in a fairly small gaff. Don't get me wrong, there's space, but as I say it's far from being ideal. He and I met in September (07) and have only been together since October so neither of us feel we have quite reached the "living together" stage at this juncture.

What I'm feeling very much at a loss over is things like nursery furniture etc. Do I buy two cots? Should I have a cot at mine and, for example, a crib at my boyfriend's?

I suppose what I'm really asking is if there's anything major I ought to bear in mind, and whether or not anybody has had a similar experience.

Cheers in advance.

[differentWitch]

Travel cot with bassinette. It can fold up when the baby isn't there and you can get ones with a changing surface that just folds over the side. If you use sleeping bags for the baby, there's less bedding to consider storing

[mazzystartled]

just get a moses basket for now [borrow one] - very transportable
it will see lo through to at least 4 months, maybe 5 or six.
then you can review the situation
in 10 months time you may well want to live together. or not.

[angel1976]

Hi,

When I went to visit my parents, my LO slept in one of these. As suggested by differentWitch. I think they are great as you can also use them as a playpen later on. If you don't feel they are that comfortable, you can always buy another mattress to put on top of that. My view is if he/she is going to be spending some time in it, it might be better to get something your baby is going to get comfy in and is familiar with... Don't get sucked into the whole commercial baby rubbish. We did and now have so many stuff they told us we need that we never used... Like a nappy bin! I would just buy something like this and see how you get on. If money is an issue, just wait and see and buy what you need than what you think you need!

We have a bugaboo chameleon but ended up with a petite stay zia (bought off here secondhand for £70) as well and come to think of it, that would have done DS from birth to be perfectly honest... GL!

Ax

[lauraloola]

If you get a pram with a proper pram top the baby can sleep in there for the first few months. You may find that after a month or so you will settle into a routine be it that he stays at your house or you do move in with him.

Or, Ikea do a cot for about £30 that you could use at your boyfriends or get 2!

You can get change mats for around £3 and make sure you have a stash of nappies, wipes and clothes at his house too. You will surprised at how many you get through

[NorthernLurker]

If you get a pram with a decent size carrycot and supportive mattress you could use that? If you're breastfeeding it will be quite a long time before you are ready for baby to be away overnight - and even if you're bottlefeeding you might find it's a good whilst before you want to be away from baby so you really don't need all that much. It would probably make life easier if your boyfriend buys his own changing mat, nappies and wipes etc and keeps it all togther at his place so you don't need to move that stuff and when baby is onto solid food he should get a highchair there too.

[NorthernLurker]

Laura - x-post - great minds and all that

[snickersnack]

Fold away changing mat to leave there, plus nappies and wipes - would be a total pain to transport enough each time you need them. Babies don't really need things like baby baths so I'd hold off buying much until you know what your plans are. I would say a small wire frame bouncer at his place is a must for when the baby is a bit bigger, but otherwise I'd just see how you go. Travel cot is a good idea - or you can get prams with proper carry cots that the baby could sleep in the whole time (I think some are designed for that purpose). Try freecycle for anything you think you can't live without.

[snickersnack]

x-posted with everyone. We're all right, you see!

[lauraloola]

Brilliant! I love it when that happens!!!

[lolianja]

Thanks for all the suggestions so far guys, am looking up travel cots with basinettes online as we speak!

Should clarify - am planning to breastfeed and thus when baby is at boyfriend's for the night(s), I will be too.

[GreenMonkies]

As you are planning on breastfeeding ( yay! Good for you!) why not co-sleep too? A bed-rail/cot-side will stop baby rolling off the bed, (it's safer to have baby between you and the edge, rather than between you and your boyfriend) as loads of bf mums find they end up co-sleeping anyway, and using the cot to dump stuff in!!

A nice sling will be cheaper than a pram too, a huggababy or freedom ring sling is my advice, and means you won't really need a baby chair or swing type thing.

[Wisknit]

I think I would just co-sleep (i do anyway)unless either of you smoke. If you you do co-sleep your baby will always have you there so it would be less disruptive.
Good for you deciding to BF, it's lovely but think about finding a support group first and going antenatally. That way if you have any probs you have help on hand and don't have to phone random strangers out of the blue when you're all hormonal etc.

[lolianja]

We'll probably be co-sleeping (at mine) for the first fortnight or so anyway, but any longer than that and it just isn't practical. We both smoke (I haven't smoked since I found out I was expecting though) so that's another minus.

It's the disruption angle that had been making me the most uneasy. For the baby, that is. But it seems unavoidable.

[lauraloola]

If your boyfriend smokes dont let him co sleep with your lo.

Your baby will be fine with 2 houses. If thats all he or she knows it will be fine x

[GreenMonkies]

Co-sleeping should be ok as long as you don't start smoking again (you can get smoking help like patches free on prescription whilst you are pregnant and for a year after your baby is born, so this can be very helpful) and you put the baby on your side of the bed and not between you and your boyfriend. Ideally you could see if he would give up smoking too, perhaps you could share your free nicotine replacement patches or gum with him?

I agree that you rbaby will be fine living between two houses, a friend of mine switches between two homes with her children for business reasons, and they are perfectly happy, secure kids. Co-sleeping helps with this kind of felxible living, my kids will sleep anywhere as long as me or thier dad are there!