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Pregnancy

Finding it hard to feel happy being pregnant

6 replies

mamanddad · 08/08/2008 10:55

My ds who makes me so happy is 12mths. I have just stopped bf, ds is finally sleeping through the night and we were looking forward to life getting back to normal for a few mths before trying for another baby.

My wonderful mother who has been ill for 2yrs passed away 3mths ago and I miss her terribly.

6wks weeks ago I found out I am pregnant, baby due in Feb (ds will be 19mths). I know I should feel so lucky but I am overwhelmed, cranky and don't feel excited about sharing our news with family. I also feel very guilty for feeling this way...

OP posts:

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ConstanceWearing · 08/08/2008 11:02

To be very honest, I wasn't terribly thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Or my 3rd, 4th, 5th or 6th

But (ime) I got more and more excited about the idea as the birth date got nearer, I could feel baby move, etc.

I don't think it is an indication that you cannot love this second baby.

Don't know if that helps.

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ajm200 · 08/08/2008 11:07

It must be hard if this baby isn't planned and you thought you were just getting your life back.

Any unplanned baby can come as a bit of a shock, plus in the first trimester it's normal to feel pretty crap, hormonal and emotional.

You may be grieving the life you thought you were about to have. Give it time and you will probably feel completely different. talk to sCan you talk to someone, a friend or relative that you trust. Voicing your feelings may help you to deal with them

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EachPeachPearMum · 08/08/2008 11:09

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss mamanddad
You are still grieving- of course it feels odd.
As it gets closer the date, you'll feel more excited, though of course sad that your mum won't meet this one.
I'm sure the rest of the family will be glad of some good news when you share it with them.
Congratulations!
This one will always be linked closely in your mind with your Mum, which will be a good thing as years go by.

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PetitFilou1 · 08/08/2008 11:10

You have very valid reasons for feeling the way you do - it sounds perfectly normal. The first year of having a baby is the hardest and you've just got through it, plus you've lost your mum recently. Don't feel guilty for feeling this way but do give yourself time to get used to the idea. I planned my third baby and still had a massive wobble at the beginning - I'm now 37 weeks pregnant and looking forward to meeting him (even though I'm under no illusion that it will be bloody hard work with the two dcs I've got already).

It'll be ok...

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Slickbird · 08/08/2008 11:12

You've gone through some MAJOR events in the last year and losing a parent must be the hardest pain second only to losing a child, so you must give yourself a chance and allow yourself to grieve and don't feel bad that you are not excited about being pregnant unexpectedly. 3 months is no time at all, these things take time. Hopefully as the pregnancy progresses you will start to feel that maybe as one life ends another one begins, and who knows, if it's a girl, maybe you would be happy to give her your mum's name as a middle name (just a suggestion). But firstly, let yourself grieve. Good luck with it all.

(((BIG HUGS))) to you