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Pregnancy

Soon to be Father is acting crazy

5 replies

effyflameldn · 09/09/2020 16:05

I recently found out I was pregnant and the father is COMPLETELY ignoring me .he has been partying like crazy taking drugs and all which is crazy . He blocked me on social media and everywhere I messaged his friends no reaction no reply .. he does ghost when thing a a serious or uncomfortable so at first I wasn't suprised just hurt . I went to his house and he refused to talk to me and I sat outside crying for 4 hours until The Situation escalated and he said I wasn't pregnant and I was lying the first thing he says to me after 3 weeks!! . I said I could pee on a test he should come to a scan and I would be open for dna tests... as I have been saying for weeks now and he refused. I pushed myself into the flat and the horror I saw ... this man had weeks worth of take away alcohol and had just been partying and eating with drugs it was horrendous. I know he suffers with anxiety and hardcore depression and I know me just showing up in his life pregnant after months no contact is a shock but imagine me finding out I'm 10 weeks pregnant {at the time} ... I have made a vow not to contact him now since then and he still hasn't said anything... do men normally panic or is he just having a general mental meltdown ? Has anyone experienced anything similar? Thanks in advance ...

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CodenameVillanelle · 09/09/2020 16:07

No men don't usually behave like this
Thing is you can't make him behave properly so stop chasing him and begging him to talk to you. Get used to being a single parent and for god sake don't chase a man like this to be in your child's life! It's a blessing that he's not interested, really

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Reclinehard · 09/09/2020 16:10

Struggling to deal with it is one thing, but accusing you of lying, ignoring you and refusing to let you in the flat are all signs that this guy does not care enough about you to have a healthy relationship, even a platonic one. Do you have close family and friends who could be your support network instead of this useless guy?

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Poppyismyfavourite · 09/09/2020 16:12

Sounds like you're much better off without him tbh... I'd stay well away and for God's sake don't put him on the birth certificate or give the baby his name!

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User3627290 · 09/09/2020 16:24

Sounds like you and your baby will be much better off without him. Don’t put his name on the birth certificate, go through CMS for maintenance, and don’t allow any contact unless it’s supervised (or at all, unless he’s willing to go to court for it). You can’t leave a baby in the hands of someone who abuses drugs and alcohol.

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effyflameldn · 09/09/2020 16:52

Yes it’s very strange he didn’t do drugs beforehand and is normally an extremely clean person it was disgusting 20 razors in the bathroom floor covered all sorts of nastiness... have never seen something so bad ... it was pretty worrying ... I think after 3 weeks of trying to talk to him and failing it’s good not to try anymore . The worst part of it all when he opened the door it looked like he had been crying the whole time his eyes were puffy and red and couldn’t look me in the eye and he didn’t say anything as I was angry shouting at him to let me past him to go and pee and I said your not even going to let a pregnant women pee and he said pregnant in a way which implied I was lying ... so I got extremely mad
I’m just pretty worried all the time since then... but I’m excited as I don’t have any guilt moving on with my baby plans without him :)