Hi everyone,
This is my first post on Mumsnet, although I’ve been reading posts everyday for a while.
It seems such a lovely place for advice and a good way to ask experienced people for views.
I’m stuck in a difficult situation and I think In some way my hormones are making this feel worse but here goes.
I am just over 12 weeks pregnant with our first child. My partner and I told our families at the weekend which went well. We worried a little about telling my brother and his wife as they experienced a missed miscarriage a couple of years a go and we wanted to make sure we were sensitive enough to tell them without causing added distress. I ended up sending my brother a text addressed to them both which we decided was best as they find it hard to talk on the phone and I didn’t want to force them into sounding happy on the phone.
Anyway my brother congratulated us back and all seemed ok. He told my mum the next day that they really appreciated the way we told them and the fact we thought about them so I felt relieved.
Since the weekend however my mum now feels guilty that ‘we’ve’ made them sad and that my brother now feels like we don’t care about him or his feelings.
He has made no indication that this is how he feels and my mum is overthinking things and is now seemingly worried over this pregnancy instead of her original joy.
I was so happy to see my mum happy when I told her as she suffers with her mental health and has found lockdown a struggle. I feel like we have done a bad thing and caused sadness upon our family.
I feel guilt for becoming pregnant.
I am not saying for a second that this isn’t upsetting for my brother and sister in law and I expected them to feel sad and that life is unfair, but now I feel as though I’ve hurt them intentionally.
My other brother and his wife suffered a miscarriage and a long battle with IVF to have their only child and they are thrilled for us and reminded me that as sad as life is and how horribly cruel it can be life does still go on.
I would never ever wish any hurt on my family and feel like I’ve done a terrible thing without realising the consequences.
Any advice as to whether I am being unreasonable or not being understanding enough?
I only want to bring my family closer not further apart.
Thank you in advance for your replies :-)
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Pregnancy
Need some advice on how my family are taking pregnancy news
13 replies
Cobbsgirl92 · 10/06/2020 12:26
OP posts:
SonEtLumiere ·
12/06/2020 12:33
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